It will be a thing of the past one day - the whole story, him , balls and all. A few years and he will be a distant memeory.You must think positively and only this way. You must chase away every single memory of him. Soon your mind will adapt to a new situation . It is like in the case of someone's death. Yes, I know you are traumatised but you must not agree to call yourself a victim. Tell yourself every day you made a deadly mistake - that is all. You learnt and drew conclusions.. Fuck that bastard. Curse him. Hope his dick will shrivel up.As for their mothers...it is a long subject. Do not trust them.They raise them as an investment for future sponsoring.