I am sorry Anna2you you had such a bad experience with your rat. This kreeps in your head and you question yourself thinking why did I not see it before but narcissists are masters in hiding their true selves. They manipulate you in letting you think you are to blame for all the bad things that happens in their life. He is born with such an attitude and his family allowed him to keep behaving this way. Except from his brother and he didn't like that, his brother seen trough this. I hope you understand what I mean. The best thing to do I think is to just accept what happened and allow yourself to be happy again. Move on with your life you can not change the past leave it where it is.... The past. In no means I am telling you it was not easy the life with him. Try to recognize the signs of a narcissist and step away from them. Depression is a bad thing I understand that but step into the light again and start a new life. Big hugs xxxxOmg...all those so right on as to how my husband behaved. I am still somewhat shocked after all this...still analyzing ...agains my will but my mind sometimes wonders. I do hope it stops soon..its been a while. Most days i am ok but i think its because i have been fighting to push it all out of my mind because when i start thinking i just feel depressed. I still have not cried even once since he left. I wish i could and just process it all deeply already. On top of that i feel more and more resentment towards his family, especially his mother for raising such a monster. From what i remember when i was there if he ever raised his voice they would all get quiet. He used to tell me that he does not like his oldest brother because he used to tell him the truth. His thing was that nobody was going to tell him anything end of story. So sad and scarry that a whole family would just put up with his Shite from childhood. In adctuality he is very smooth talker and lier i guess but he is not the brightest. But his father and brothers are smart people even the sisters...so i dont know how they would not know that something was wrong with him. He once told me he thought he should be a king lol...oh boy i am sure he would love that but the poor people would be suffering from him for sure.