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Narcissistic to the core

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Thanks @Butterflies. I found some of his fake accounts and I blocked him on there too. He may have noticed but it doesn’t bother me either way. I changed my FB settings so I can only receive friend requests from mutual connections. On his main account we have 2 mutual contacts but I don’t think that is the case on the other accounts. I doubt he will try to contact me any time soon as he has been married for 2 years and I’m not sure how many years he has to live in the US before he can obtain a Green Card...his ultimate goal. He has an unusual surname and as soon as I google it it (still) shows a wedding gift suggestion list for family & friends. It also gave me details on his wife and I found her on LinkedIn. I’ve not checked her profile but I know where she works. I would never contact her...and he can consider himself lucky. I wouldn’t stoop to his level. My children knew of his existence and my son (17 at the time) spoke to him a couple of times on Skype as I was chatting to him...and their common interest is Fifa so that is what they chatted about. My son didn’t find it strange that we were chatting and never asked if we were more than friends. He knows my son’s name and could easily find him on Facebook. I don’t want my rat involving my family in any revenge attacks...but I really do feel for his wife. She deserves better.
There is a thread here somwhere where these married rats contact their former girlfriend so plse be careful my rat was blackmailing me with fotos I stupidly send to him. I know you feel for his wife as she deserves better and she probably payed for his visa to. It is sad what these rats do to women
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
Thanks @Butterflies. I found some of his fake accounts and I blocked him on there too. He may have noticed but it doesn’t bother me either way. I changed my FB settings so I can only receive friend requests from mutual connections. On his main account we have 2 mutual contacts but I don’t think that is the case on the other accounts. I doubt he will try to contact me any time soon as he has been married for 2 years and I’m not sure how many years he has to live in the US before he can obtain a Green Card...his ultimate goal. He has an unusual surname and as soon as I google it it (still) shows a wedding gift suggestion list for family & friends. It also gave me details on his wife and I found her on LinkedIn. I’ve not checked her profile but I know where she works. I would never contact her...and he can consider himself lucky. I wouldn’t stoop to his level. My children knew of his existence and my son (17 at the time) spoke to him a couple of times on Skype as I was chatting to him...and their common interest is Fifa so that is what they chatted about. My son didn’t find it strange that we were chatting and never asked if we were more than friends. He knows my son’s name and could easily find him on Facebook. I don’t want my rat involving my family in any revenge attacks...but I really do feel for his wife. She deserves better.
Really sad for her, angry that he managed to scam someone else. As soon as he gets the permanent residence he will run.
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
No problem. Yes they do a number on us. Very gifted at seeking the vulnerable and they know that they can find that in foreign women. They see us as weak because we are kind and use that to their advantage.
Their act doesn't last too long. They can't keep up the façade as you have discovered.
Interesting how he was concerned about you using his information against him later when really that's their ammo. They are the ones who gather as much as they can about you to use for blackmail if they don't get their way.
But anyways good that you saw him for what he was.
Unfortunately for my rat he had told me too much about himself and I have the names of some of his contacts...including the man who ended up sponsoring for his visit to the US. He had met my rat at a church conference in Tunisia and had been part of the team who baptised him. My rat wasted no time to connect with him on FB. He took advantage of this person and quickly brushed him aside not long after his arrival in the US. He also applied for asylum as soon as he crossed the border. Tunisia was, after all, “a very dangerous country“ as his life was on the line due to his Christian beliefs. He carried on as though he was living in Iraq as a Christian. He told me his plans from step one. I did not want to get involved as I did not want my family being brought into it. He literally made it into the country days before Donald Trump put on the brakes.
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
I believe he wasn’t manipulating you so finally you decided to help him migrate, he treated your kids as his own and spoke about them nicely with your family but the reality came out when he asked you to leave them. It was about him and migration the whole time.
Indeed it was @Wiser. He tried to convince me that our happiness was all that mattered and that he was willing to “wash dishes or be a waiter all day and night” just to be with me. He has a qualification as an electrical engineer...although from what I’ve heard, their qualifications don’t hold any weight. He knew that winning the heart of my children would convince me that he was the one. As much as I fell for him I felt uncomfortable about our 17 year age gap in terms of being seen holding hands or hugging in public. I did not like the idea of people looking at us and think there was this old woman with a toyboy. He was born the same year I finished high school...so was basically young enough to be my son. Chatting online was one thing but as much as I believed I wanted to be with him, I just didn’t know if I would be comfortable introducing him to my family and friends as the love of my life and future husband. I’m glad those thoughts nagged me and made me not jump into making any rash decisions I would later regret. I held him off long enough to see his true colours revealed.
 

Scottish Lassie

Major Ratslayer
Here some of our members are Muslim or married to a Muslim man and can guide you better on the subject, from what I understand and saw with my ex they indeed treat their sons like a little prince, they have a duty further to help their parents and family financially.
A traditional family would keep their daughters with more restrictions than their sons.
Thanks for letting me know @Wiser. I will seek some guidance and understanding. I know my rat’s mum doted over her son but the father ruled the roost and he used to belittle him endlessly. Who could blame him though as, like many other rats, he spent most of his time at home in his white vest playing games (he has his own gaming channel on YouTube) and frequenting the local coffee shop. Initially I thought that was an innocent place where young people go instead of bars/pubs. I don’t drink alcohol so thought it was wonderful that my rat was going to a place where he wouldn’t get drunk but rather drinking coffee with his equally innocent friends. How ignorant I was. xx
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
Thanks for letting me know @Wiser. I will seek some guidance and understanding. I know my rat’s mum doted over her son but the father ruled the roost and he used to belittle him endlessly. Who could blame him though as, like many other rats, he spent most of his time at home in his white vest playing games (he has his own gaming channel on YouTube) and frequenting the local coffee shop. Initially I thought that was an innocent place where young people go instead of bars/pubs. I don’t drink alcohol so thought it was wonderful that my rat was going to a place where he wouldn’t get drunk but rather drinking coffee with his equally innocent friends. How ignorant I was. xx
It’s shocking how things are in reality. After having feedback with members you will realize of the bigger picture. Don’t blame yourself. These men act like that since very young and tell all kind of lies, we believed their words and reacted with compassion about their stories. But they are far from being innocent abused men. Xx they know exactly what they are doing and what they want to obtain in reward.
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
Thanks for letting me know @Wiser. I will seek some guidance and understanding. I know my rat’s mum doted over her son but the father ruled the roost and he used to belittle him endlessly. Who could blame him though as, like many other rats, he spent most of his time at home in his white vest playing games (he has his own gaming channel on YouTube) and frequenting the local coffee shop. Initially I thought that was an innocent place where young people go instead of bars/pubs. I don’t drink alcohol so thought it was wonderful that my rat was going to a place where he wouldn’t get drunk but rather drinking coffee with his equally innocent friends. How ignorant I was. xx
It’s shocking how things are in reality. After having feedback with members you will realize of the bigger picture. Don’t blame yourself. These men act like that since very young and tell all kind of lies, we believed their words and reacted with compassion about their stories. But they are far from being innocent abused men. Xx they know exactly what they are doing and what they want to obtain in reward.
 

Storm

Major Ratslayer
Unfortunately for my rat he had told me too much about himself and I have the names of some of his contacts...including the man who ended up sponsoring for his visit to the US. He had met my rat at a church conference in Tunisia and had been part of the team who baptised him. My rat wasted no time to connect with him on FB. He took advantage of this person and quickly brushed him aside not long after his arrival in the US. He also applied for asylum as soon as he crossed the border. Tunisia was, after all, “a very dangerous country“ as his life was on the line due to his Christian beliefs. He carried on as though he was living in Iraq as a Christian. He told me his plans from step one. I did not want to get involved as I did not want my family being brought into it. He literally made it into the country days before Donald Trump put on the brakes.

I am not surprised about the claiming asylum using the religion card.
At least you have the details on him so that he would think twice about messing with you :sneaky:
 
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