Need your advice!

Jojo123

New Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Messages
2
Hello everybody!

I want to apologize for my very poor and bad english in advance ( i am from russia) and for lots of unnesessary information.
I wanna tell my stupid story and ask about advice.
In 2017 me and my friend were in Tunusia and i met guy from hotel stuff. He was waiter.
After my trip we were in touch about 8 months. He sended me messages and called everyday. Always said how much he loves me and wants to be with me ( familiar words for everybody here).
After couple of months i found this forum. I read a lot of threads here and I was terrified because so many stories began exactly like mine, but at the same time there were many things in which my boyfriend did not look like a Tunisian rat. I was very confused.
- He never asked me for money. Maybe because I said him I have no money?. I had no money even to come to Tunisia one more time, earlier than in a year;
- I am two years younger than him( he is 26)
- He had many our photos on facebook ( it was his old and main account with his real name, with all reltives and friends and with many friends from other countries)
There was another side:
-After his "good night" he was online until the morning;
-He didnt work in winter and spring, but bought new clothes, drank coffee every day and so on;
-He closed his instagram from me;
-He said his mother loves me and i will meet her if i come;
-Sometimes he asked me to make him an invitation (but I didnt have an opportunity, because I live with my parents ... He didnt want to live in a hotel);
-He complained life in Tunisia is bad, women in Tunisia are bad .
A lot of things showed me he is a rat. But i didnt want to believe that it can be true.
I am not big victim, but all months have been very difficult psychologically. I felt he didnt care about me, but his words were about love. He behaved indifferently, I felt a lie in everything, all the facts that he told me were very different from the facts that he told a few days ago.I was constantly under stress, because it seemed to me that I was the reason why we could not be together (and he even said that). I lost a lotof hair because of stress! Really a lot of hair (this is the biggest loss) and I still cant stop it.... but I so wanted to believe that I could be happy with this person.

I wanted to believe till may. He told me he was going to go to work for 1 week to place where will not be internet . I was very surprised, at the first day of his "work" he blocked me everywhere! And also deleted our photos from facebook. I was broken...
He returned more than a week later, unblocked me everywhere and started calling and writing messages about he missed me. I said I knew he was not at work, i know he blocked me but he said it all was only for me and I must believe him and i will understand everything in future.Then he sent me a photo of the invitation! Wow????
He asked for forgiveness for several days, then he told me stupid story how he bought the invitation ( in the beginning he said his friend made this invitation)
I said i cant trust him anymore and we cant have a relationship. After he wrote me messages as a friend for about two weeks and then disappeared. Ithink he changed the phone number ......

But a few days ago, I accidentally(!) found instagram of one woman...I saw her year ago in the same hotel where I was staying.I remember seeing my “boyfriend” taking a phone number from her and they even took a photo together. But when I asked him who was this woman , he said that I had nothing to worry about because she is older than him and she has child.
So, I found this woman's instagram and found out that all this time while me and my boyfriend were "together", she was his second girlfriend. She visited him in Tunisia several times and I suppose she is the one who made and brought him the invitation, because she was in Tunisia at the same time when my rat blocked me.
It seems that a few days ago, my rat moved to live in Russia( this woman is from Russia) She 14 years older than him ...
I am so angry! I am angry because i found it too late!
I wanted to tell everything to this woman, but my friends ask me to leave them alone because this rat is not my problem anymore. They say I can not change anything and probably this woman will not believe me, because now she is happy.Maybe my friends are right and I should not tell anything, but ..... what should i do?
 

Heidi

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 9, 2009
Messages
14,134
Hello everybody!

I want to apologize for my very poor and bad english in advance ( i am from russia) and for lots of unnesessary information.
I wanna tell my stupid story and ask about advice.
In 2017 me and my friend were in Tunusia and i met guy from hotel stuff. He was waiter.
After my trip we were in touch about 8 months. He sended me messages and called everyday. Always said how much he loves me and wants to be with me ( familiar words for everybody here).
After couple of months i found this forum. I read a lot of threads here and I was terrified because so many stories began exactly like mine, but at the same time there were many things in which my boyfriend did not look like a Tunisian rat. I was very confused.
- He never asked me for money. Maybe because I said him I have no money?. I had no money even to come to Tunisia one more time, earlier than in a year;
- I am two years younger than him( he is 26)
- He had many our photos on facebook ( it was his old and main account with his real name, with all reltives and friends and with many friends from other countries)
There was another side:
-After his "good night" he was online until the morning;
-He didnt work in winter and spring, but bought new clothes, drank coffee every day and so on;
-He closed his instagram from me;
-He said his mother loves me and i will meet her if i come;
-Sometimes he asked me to make him an invitation (but I didnt have an opportunity, because I live with my parents ... He didnt want to live in a hotel);
-He complained life in Tunisia is bad, women in Tunisia are bad .
A lot of things showed me he is a rat. But i didnt want to believe that it can be true.
I am not big victim, but all months have been very difficult psychologically. I felt he didnt care about me, but his words were about love. He behaved indifferently, I felt a lie in everything, all the facts that he told me were very different from the facts that he told a few days ago.I was constantly under stress, because it seemed to me that I was the reason why we could not be together (and he even said that). I lost a lotof hair because of stress! Really a lot of hair (this is the biggest loss) and I still cant stop it.... but I so wanted to believe that I could be happy with this person.

I wanted to believe till may. He told me he was going to go to work for 1 week to place where will not be internet . I was very surprised, at the first day of his "work" he blocked me everywhere! And also deleted our photos from facebook. I was broken...
He returned more than a week later, unblocked me everywhere and started calling and writing messages about he missed me. I said I knew he was not at work, i know he blocked me but he said it all was only for me and I must believe him and i will understand everything in future.Then he sent me a photo of the invitation! Wow????
He asked for forgiveness for several days, then he told me stupid story how he bought the invitation ( in the beginning he said his friend made this invitation)
I said i cant trust him anymore and we cant have a relationship. After he wrote me messages as a friend for about two weeks and then disappeared. Ithink he changed the phone number ......

But a few days ago, I accidentally(!) found instagram of one woman...I saw her year ago in the same hotel where I was staying.I remember seeing my “boyfriend” taking a phone number from her and they even took a photo together. But when I asked him who was this woman , he said that I had nothing to worry about because she is older than him and she has child.
So, I found this woman's instagram and found out that all this time while me and my boyfriend were "together", she was his second girlfriend. She visited him in Tunisia several times and I suppose she is the one who made and brought him the invitation, because she was in Tunisia at the same time when my rat blocked me.
It seems that a few days ago, my rat moved to live in Russia( this woman is from Russia) She 14 years older than him ...
I am so angry! I am angry because i found it too late!
I wanted to tell everything to this woman, but my friends ask me to leave them alone because this rat is not my problem anymore. They say I can not change anything and probably this woman will not believe me, because now she is happy.Maybe my friends are right and I should not tell anything, but ..... what should i do?
Welcome Jojo123 :) The waiter is a RAT and you are lucky that you got away!
Your friend is right, he is not your problem anymore, but he is the problem of the new victim now. I think that women should stick together and she should be warned. What she does with the information is up to her.
I also would name and shame him in our gallery, to warn further victims. You can be sure that the current one will not be the last victim
 

Masha

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2016
Messages
796
Hello everybody!

I want to apologize for my very poor and bad english in advance ( i am from russia) and for lots of unnesessary information.
I wanna tell my stupid story and ask about advice.
In 2017 me and my friend were in Tunusia and i met guy from hotel stuff. He was waiter.
After my trip we were in touch about 8 months. He sended me messages and called everyday. Always said how much he loves me and wants to be with me ( familiar words for everybody here).
After couple of months i found this forum. I read a lot of threads here and I was terrified because so many stories began exactly like mine, but at the same time there were many things in which my boyfriend did not look like a Tunisian rat. I was very confused.
- He never asked me for money. Maybe because I said him I have no money?. I had no money even to come to Tunisia one more time, earlier than in a year;
- I am two years younger than him( he is 26)
- He had many our photos on facebook ( it was his old and main account with his real name, with all reltives and friends and with many friends from other countries)
There was another side:
-After his "good night" he was online until the morning;
-He didnt work in winter and spring, but bought new clothes, drank coffee every day and so on;
-He closed his instagram from me;
-He said his mother loves me and i will meet her if i come;
-Sometimes he asked me to make him an invitation (but I didnt have an opportunity, because I live with my parents ... He didnt want to live in a hotel);
-He complained life in Tunisia is bad, women in Tunisia are bad .
A lot of things showed me he is a rat. But i didnt want to believe that it can be true.
I am not big victim, but all months have been very difficult psychologically. I felt he didnt care about me, but his words were about love. He behaved indifferently, I felt a lie in everything, all the facts that he told me were very different from the facts that he told a few days ago.I was constantly under stress, because it seemed to me that I was the reason why we could not be together (and he even said that). I lost a lotof hair because of stress! Really a lot of hair (this is the biggest loss) and I still cant stop it.... but I so wanted to believe that I could be happy with this person.

I wanted to believe till may. He told me he was going to go to work for 1 week to place where will not be internet . I was very surprised, at the first day of his "work" he blocked me everywhere! And also deleted our photos from facebook. I was broken...
He returned more than a week later, unblocked me everywhere and started calling and writing messages about he missed me. I said I knew he was not at work, i know he blocked me but he said it all was only for me and I must believe him and i will understand everything in future.Then he sent me a photo of the invitation! Wow????
He asked for forgiveness for several days, then he told me stupid story how he bought the invitation ( in the beginning he said his friend made this invitation)
I said i cant trust him anymore and we cant have a relationship. After he wrote me messages as a friend for about two weeks and then disappeared. Ithink he changed the phone number ......

But a few days ago, I accidentally(!) found instagram of one woman...I saw her year ago in the same hotel where I was staying.I remember seeing my “boyfriend” taking a phone number from her and they even took a photo together. But when I asked him who was this woman , he said that I had nothing to worry about because she is older than him and she has child.
So, I found this woman's instagram and found out that all this time while me and my boyfriend were "together", she was his second girlfriend. She visited him in Tunisia several times and I suppose she is the one who made and brought him the invitation, because she was in Tunisia at the same time when my rat blocked me.
It seems that a few days ago, my rat moved to live in Russia( this woman is from Russia) She 14 years older than him ...
I am so angry! I am angry because i found it too late!
I wanted to tell everything to this woman, but my friends ask me to leave them alone because this rat is not my problem anymore. They say I can not change anything and probably this woman will not believe me, because now she is happy.Maybe my friends are right and I should not tell anything, but ..... what should i do?
Hello. Imagine that you are married to Mr X. You think he is very nice. Another woman knows he is a pervert , scammer and a psycho. Would you prefer to learn the truth? I would. Happiness built on ignorance and a false picture of the reality when there is evil, lies and deceit and scamming behind - is nothing but perceiving the reality in a distorted way. She should know.
 

Arkady

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
418
Welcome Jojo123 :) The waiter is a RAT and you are lucky that you got away!
Your friend is right, he is not your problem anymore, but he is the problem of the new victim now. I think that women should stick together and she should be warned. What she does with the information is up to her.
I also would name and shame him in our gallery, to warn further victims. You can be sure that the current one will not be the last victim
That’s what I was going to say Heidi.
 

Amira

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
3,120
it is probably stupid, but I dont want to post his photo here :( but I can send you his name and photo in pm, maybe you can help someone in the future:)
Understand well that you will not post his picture in public but it is better if you give the Heidi the picture so she can look at him. Agree that you have to think about your own safety. They are outspoken and you never know where you are going to be true. Think about your own safety first
 

Amira

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2014
Messages
3,120
It seems that a few days ago, my rat moved to live in Russia( this woman is from Russia) She 14 years older than him ...
Of course it would have been nice to warn her but if you do so your own e-mail address will come up so she sees your name? Or you can give her information anonymously it would have been the best especially when she is married to this type. You play with the fire if you leave your name I think
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
Joined
Jul 13, 2018
Messages
4,593
Stay safe Jojo, hope you feel better soon. All these horrible emotions leave and you keep enjoying life. He is for sure using this woman and very probably other women too. They are parasites and prefer to become cheap sluts rather than earning an honest life. It’s a gain for you that you realized on time. Big hug xx
 

Liona

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 18, 2016
Messages
2,792
Hi Jojo!
Nice to hear you are rat -free at the moment. Really, who needs such a pece of shit in his life?
I wanted to tell everything to this woman, but my friends ask me to leave them alone because this rat is not my problem anymore. They say I can not change anything and probably this woman will not believe me,
I tryed more than once to aware such a women, but I could not say it helped. Though, speaking about myself I would prefer it were someone who would have explained me what about my "love story" was.
He has to be in the Gallery.
Imagine that you are married to Mr X. You think he is very nice. Another woman knows he is a pervert , scammer and a psycho. Would you prefer to learn the truth? I would
You would. And I would. But believe me there are a lot of insane or deluded women who are just not able to hear the voice of reason.
Heidi and Mango could confirm what a nasty messages I received from such "wives" and "girlfriends".
 
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