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Online rat? Is he a scam?

Tinkerbell

Active Member
Hi @Tinkerbell! And welcome. What a coincidence you know that German husband from your former work. :confused: This is a small world. Did you meet the German bloke before your met your Tunisian guy?
Yes I know him for more then10 years. And that does makes the world very small. That’s kinda how the whole conversation started because I knew Thomas.
 

Tinkerbell

Active Member
The same is true for Germany. Plus, you need to have at least a C1 (speaking, reading, writing fluently) certificate in German language. However, such persons do exists in Tunisia, but they come usually from rich families, often highly educated as well. And for such persons, trust me, there is plenty of suitable and acceptable marriage candidates available in Tunisia.

I'd first investigate the parents of the person, and also, where exactly (google map coordinates) they live in Tunisia.

I assume when he is into gambling, that he is trying to set up some online business outside of Tunisia, since in Tunisia gambling is prohibited, and opening something like a betting shop/business even more. This would have to be explained closer (because that is, maybe, where someone not living in Tunisia comes in). Also, why would a German want to move to Tunisia?

This way or another, you've got a lot of investigating to do. And when you do, then take into account that the tunisian society works very different from western ones - things that are normal in west, or work well, will not be or work at all in Tunisia, and vice versa. Even the same word can have a very different meaning in one and the other country, which is why it is said "often, things are not what they seem to be or what one thinks them to be".

Use this checklist as well : https://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/help-are-these-red-flags.5064/#post-317231
Thanks for your reply.
About the gambling.
If it’s land based it is allowed and legal, sports betting is illegal and not allowed.
But the land based must be registered under the form off casino.

I know Tunisia has a huge income from tourists with their casinos.
But well what do I know to be honest, I can only go from what I been told and read.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Yes I know him for more then10 years. And that does makes the world very small. That’s kinda how the whole conversation started because I knew Thomas.
I presume Thomas is your friend on FB and is this how your Tunisian friend fished you?

How well do you know Thomas, working with someone and knowing someone are completely different.

Is Thomas a Muslim - I only ask as it is highly unusual for a Muslim lady to marry a non Muslim man and up until recently i believe it was absolutely forbidden.

So many red flags and I mean bright red flags that this is wrong on all levels and an out and out scam - you will get hurt

MH x
 

Tinkerbell

Active Member
I presume Thomas is your friend on FB and is this how your Tunisian friend fished you?

How well do you know Thomas, working with someone and knowing someone are completely different.

Is Thomas a Muslim - I only ask as it is highly unusual for a Muslim lady to marry a non Muslim man and up until recently i believe it was absolutely forbidden.

So many red flags and I mean bright red flags that this is wrong on all levels and an out and out scam - you will get hurt

MH x
Thomas is the German, and he is not Muslim.

And I have both off them on Facebook actually.
But you are absolutely right, completely different situations, work and personal life are different things.

I did see Thomas on FaceTime together with my “rat”.
I don’t know.. it’s all weird.
I am here for a reason right? Gut feeling is shaking, otherwise I would not be here.
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
In Tunisia, gambling is still officially illegal. There was once an attempt to legalize it in the 90s, but it was soon after terminated and most casinos became showrooms. There seem to be, however, since 2011 a very few so-called Casinos that are located in private hotel facilities and which have been opened or shall be opened in the very(!) recent years.
But, rest assured, they contribute nothing at all to the state income from tourists (which has been, for many years, 15% and less of the state income, same as money transfers from tunisian expats and same as the contribution of the mining industry).

On the other hand, there are more than 100 "online casions" listed for Tunisia - but I doubt highly that they are really based in Tunisia, that is, with a real tunisian person who lives at a real tunisian address. :)
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
up until recently i believe it was absolutely forbidden.
It was actually discouraged and sort of grey area - and it is, until today, where it is officially legal since 2017 (but some notaries still refuse to perform the paperwork).

There has not been a single paragraph in the law of tunisia which disallowed such a marriage, but what was there, was a decret of the minister of state from the 90s that forbade notaries to enter such a marriage into public records. I know of some (very few) notaries who stood up against this decret and filed the marriage anyway.
In most cases, the husbands simply became muslim-by-pretend and were given some test questions by the head imam of Tunisia and, by this way, converted to Islam - then they could marry officially in Tunisia.
Others married outside of Tunisia and their marriage was then valid throughout the whole world ... except in Tunisia <g> (and many did not care about that).

However, altogether, the number of non-native tunisian men who married native tunisian women is very, very, small, a percentage almost next to nothing. In most cases, it is rather tunisian expat men (who became citizens of another country) who marry tunisian women.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Thomas is the German, and he is not Muslim.

And I have both off them on Facebook actually.
But you are absolutely right, completely different situations, work and personal life are different things.

I did see Thomas on FaceTime together with my “rat”.
I don’t know.. it’s all weird.
I am here for a reason right? Gut feeling is shaking, otherwise I would not be here.
It is very strange and I am glad you are here.

Personally I think the whole family are rats.

Please read the culture, read about non muslim men marrying Tunisian women.

As pointed out gambling is forbidden so I very much doubt he has a betting shop - in fact I highly doubt he is in business at all apart from bezness.

I really wish I could tell you he was genuine and this is real but I can't.

I am very disapointed in Thomas because if he was your friend he would tell you to block and delete this 'rat' although I fear he is also a victim. More and more female rats are scamming men.

Big hugs MH
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Thomas is the German, and he is not Muslim.

And I have both off them on Facebook actually.
But you are absolutely right, completely different situations, work and personal life are different things.

I did see Thomas on FaceTime together with my “rat”.
I don’t know.. it’s all weird.
I am here for a reason right? Gut feeling is shaking, otherwise I would not be here.
A Tunisian woman cannot marry a non muslim man ,,,I know shaira law dont apply in Tunisia ,,but this law is practised in Tunisia,,One of them has to change faith..If she had to convert and is still living in Tunisia ,then she is a brave woman..If she didn convert then she cannot enter a mosque..
 

Tinkerbell

Active Member
It was actually discouraged and sort of grey area - and it is, until today, where it is officially legal since 2017 (but some notaries still refuse to perform the paperwork).

There has not been a single paragraph in the law of tunisia which disallowed such a marriage, but what was there, was a decret of the minister of state from the 90s that forbade notaries to enter such a marriage into public records. I know of some (very few) notaries who stood up against this decret and filed the marriage anyway.
In most cases, the husbands simply became muslim-by-pretend and were given some test questions by the head imam of Tunisia and, by this way, converted to Islam - then they could marry officially in Tunisia.
Others married outside of Tunisia and their marriage was then valid throughout the whole world ... except in Tunisia <g> (and many did not care about that).

However, altogether, the number of non-native tunisian men who married native tunisian women is very, very, small, a percentage almost next to nothing. In most cases, it is rather tunisian expat men (who became citizens of another country) who marry tunisian women.
But this is what makes it so confusing, comment from someone who says its forbidden and now you’re comment.
Really confusing.
If you search information it’s also confusing, because the same information. Yes it’s allowed by this site and no it’s not allowed by that site.

Same as the casinos etc.
My head is spinning
 

Tinkerbell

Active Member
I bet hes held hostage ,,Like the english bloke ,who went to visit a tunisian woman he met online and got locked in a room ,untill he gave money ..I bet you can find it on here somewhere
Hahaha I wonder why anyone would marry him.. but that’s my opinion. He don’t like him that much.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Another thing to consider is that Tunisian men want children - how do you feel about that?

Bear in mind if this leads to marriage how would you feel having a long distant husband? It would take a minimum 3-5 years for him to get a visa. If you took your child to Tunisia to see his/her father you then lose your rights and he could prevent you taking the child out of Tunisia.

So much for you to take in a digest and you must feel overwhelmed with it all but we care.

MH x
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
But this is what makes it so confusing, comment from someone who says its forbidden and now you’re comment.
Really confusing.
If you search information it’s also confusing, because the same information. Yes it’s allowed by this site and no it’s not allowed by that site.

Same as the casinos etc.
My head is spinning
Its not allowed ,,,He would have to repeat a paragraph from the quran ,watched over by an iman,So techinally he is muslim in Tunisia..
 

Tinkerbell

Active Member
Another thing to consider is that Tunisian men want children - how do you feel about that?

Bear in mind if this leads to marriage how would you feel having a long distant husband? It would take a minimum 3-5 years for him to get a visa. If you took your child to Tunisia to see his/her father you then lose your rights and he could prevent you taking the child out of Tunisia.

So much for you to take in a digest and you must feel overwhelmed with it all but we care.

MH x
I have read about that indeed.
I do have one child. And he was a miracle!
I can not have any other children.

He knows this.
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
But this is what makes it so confusing, comment from someone who says its forbidden and now you’re comment.
Really confusing.
If you search information it’s also confusing, because the same information. Yes it’s allowed by this site and no it’s not allowed by that site.

Same as the casinos etc.
My head is spinning
But this is what makes it so confusing, comment from someone who says its forbidden and now you’re comment.
Really confusing.
If you search information it’s also confusing, because the same information. Yes it’s allowed by this site and no it’s not allowed by that site.

Same as the casinos etc.
My head is spinning
But this is what makes it so confusing, comment from someone who says its forbidden and now you’re comment.
Really confusing.
If you search information it’s also confusing, because the same information. Yes it’s allowed by this site and no it’s not allowed by that site.

Same as the casinos etc.
My head is spinning
The
Its not allowed ,,,He would have to repeat a paragraph from the quran ,watched over by an iman,So techinally he is muslim in Tunisia..
Yes, The quran says it is forbidden and they can't change that to suit them!
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
I have read about that indeed.
I do have one child. And he was a miracle!
I can not have any other children.

He knows this.
Its a hard thing to get your head round ,,Thats a red flag also ,,Arab men want kids ,must have kids .Its ingrained in their brain ,,.I knew a Tunisian couple who married and coudlnt have kids ,,They divorced because of this ,saying she wasnt good enough ..He woudlnt accept that HE was the problem having a low sperm count ..They dont adopt either ,never wanting to raise another mans child .Just think of everything that was around in the dark ages in Europe and know that is how Tunisia is now ...
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
Welcome to the reality of Tunisia. :)
Let me elaborate a bit more on how Tunisia works:

There are laws in Tunisia. They are being proposed (some people then think they are in place already), then the parliament discusses them (more people will think they are in place) and then voted upon (now all people think they are in place). And then the president has to sign them and THEN they are in place. However there have been quite a few laws that rested on the president desk for many years and were then signed, rejected or silently discarded.

Then we have the citizens. Some follow the law, some don't. Some don't and pay bribe to the authorities to keep not doing it. And only when they cannot bring up the money for more bribes or the case goes into the press, the next higher authorities will act to enforce the law - unless they are bribed, see above. You will, for example, see in Tunisia sometimes caterpillars turning up and demolishing stalls, shops and even whole houses ... having been build illegally 2, 5 or 10 years ago. When buildings are being built, sometimes a lorry turns up, people come out of it and start hammering a hole into the wall of the building - which is the tunisian way of announcing a "condemned" building. Then they leave and take all work utensils they can find in this building with them. :)

Then we have the police and administration. They have to enforce the law ... if they know about it. Sometimes it takes days, sometimes weeks, and sometimes a new law will never reach them officially, and if it didn't, they won't enforce it. But let's assume it did reach them, then they may start to interpret it and have very diverging views on what it really says - which leads to a law being enforced or not, or being put into the court system for the next 2, 5 or 10 years to come. And I did not even mention bribes...
Sometimes they simply invent laws - menaing they pretend there is a law, but there isn't. This can be fixed by paying a bribe - or by putting the case to higher authorities or into the court system, see above.

And finally, there is the court system. Apart from obious things, like bribes or following the law, there comes now also the issue of "morality" into play, because Tunisia is, after all, a state of muslim values. And so the court may enforce the law, or not, or put the case back into the court system where it can stay another 2, 5 or 10 years - or forever, when, for example, the constitution is affected. Because the parliament has, in multiple years, not yet agreed on judges for the court of constitution, therefore, this court simply does not exist yet, although the constitution has been in place for some years already...

Like I said: Welcome to the reality of Tunisia!
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
.I knew a Tunisian couple who married and coudlnt have kids
The inability to produce a child is there, actually, a legal justification for a divorce, both on the side of husband and wife (as is the spouse sitting in prison for more than a short time).
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
Its not allowed ,,,He would have to repeat a paragraph from the quran ,watched over by an iman
Nope, it is the Shahada - "There is no god (ilah) but God (allah) ... and Mohammed is his messenger". He also might have to answer some questions and pray with the Imam, until he is being recognized as a tunisian type of muslim (because conversion to Islam has, per se, no obligation other than the Shahada and does not even require an Imam, just witnesses).
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
They want their heritage, blood lines, daughters to look after them and sons to fund them in later life.
Let me comment on this, because it contains a common misunderstanding and is being deliberately expressed by many in a wrong way:

Yes, this is what they want, but what they are entitled to, according to Tunisian law, is rather this:

If they become needy in their life, then their sons AND daughters have to support him according to EACH of THEIR wealth when they can AFFORD it (the own, spouse and children welfare comes first!).
The support includes housing, medical care and everyday expenses for clothes, food and drink and can be given in money or nature goods.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Let me comment on this, because it contains a common misunderstanding and is being deliberately expressed by many in a wrong way:

Yes, this is what they want, but what they are entitled to, according to Tunisian law, is rather this:

If they become needy in their life, then their sons AND daughters have to support him according to EACH of THEIR wealth when they can AFFORD it (the own, spouse and children welfare comes first!).
The support includes housing, medical care and everyday expenses for clothes, food and drink and can be given in money or nature goods.
Yes by law but in reality they expect help and funding no matter what their offsprings situation is?

MH x
 

Etoyoc

Major Ratslayer
Yes, like I said, that is what they expect (or better: what they would like). :)

The problem is that many say that this is what they are entitled to, what is the law in Tunisia - but it is very important to point out that it is NOT. It is not the eldest son, it is not even sons only, it is not money, and it is not support no matter what.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Yes, like I said, that is what they expect (or better: what they would like). :)

The problem is that many say that this is what they are entitled to, what is the law in Tunisia - but it is very important to point out that it is NOT. It is not the eldest son, it is not even sons only, it is not money, and it is not support no matter what.
I get that but we know the reality - like you said welcome to Tunisia.

MH x
 
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