Online rat? Is he a scam?

simple

Ratslayer
@Tinkerbell ....l see RED all over it....believe everything what our friends say here,because even for me as a total newcomer your friend seems like a rat....
It becomes obvious when the bubble bursts ,,but it dosent get any easier,,,You will get there .We all wanted to believe ours was different ..And now when ever i hear RAT,,,The clown comes out in me and i cant stop thinking of jokes ,Heres one ...How many rats does it take to wall paper a room ??? About 5 ,if you slice them very thinly..
 
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Liona

Rat Expert
I don’t know.. it’s all weird.
Thank you for your reply.. For me this is not so much weird. As I see this Thomas ( who does not sound for me German I don't know why) helped his Tunisian fella to find some proper woman. I just wonder which "options" were preferable for Tunisian guy except of UK sitizen of course?:confused: How do you think if that Thomas has any grudge for you?
I am here for a reason right?
Dear, you are here for a reason, certainly. It's nice your gut feeling is speaking with you.
 
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Liona

Rat Expert
Does
Yes, like I said, that is what they expect (or better: what they would like). :)

The problem is that many say that this is what they are entitled to, what is the law in Tunisia - but it is very important to point out that it is NOT. It is not the eldest son, it is not even sons only, it is not money, and it is not support no matter what.
Does this mean they want children just for the children?
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Sad as it is
Does

Does this mean they want children just for the children?
Sad as it is it is legally allowed to divorce if they cannot have children - that shows how important it is for them.

They will not adopt (usually) and they will not accept children from a previous marriage although it has been known but is very rare.

We find it hard to comprehend but we are far more emotional and welcome children into our lives for whatever reason or curve balls life throws at us.

The culture and traditions are very different to ours - it will take a very rare relationship to overcome this.

The more @Tinkerbell reads about the culture the better.

MH x
 

Liona

Rat Expert
Now I am really impressed- they need to have ( sorry, significant mistake), they need to made children to prove they are high-quality males (females, though it's applied more for men). After they made kids they don't care about them, because I personally know the case when Tunisian woman, married Algerian male, left her 100% Tunisian kids from her 1rst marriage with her mother. As if she started her life from the new sheet, and those children are kind of hosts from the past. How sweet indeed. And I even don't mention about children from non-arabic women. At the same time they would not forget to post touching pictures of babies in their social medias- "look, what I am capabale of doing". And our women read such a message absolutely wrong , like "oh, he likes children, what a beautiful and protective husband he will be". No. That's huge mistake to think like this.
 

Esme

New Member
Does anyone perhaps know him?
Omar Saadaoui

Met him though a social media site.
Talking for a bit now.

I do have his Facebook and phone number.
Have searched and searched about him, nothing else to find. Seems clean so far, whilst with others and not just men from tunis, I have had found more dirt then I had hoped for.

His mother and sisters know about me.
We talk everyday.
But I know about their reputation.
Before I take it a step further... does that name ring a bell to anyone.

Biggest proof for me would be if he would indeed come here around Christmas.
Hi tinkerbell, you will find good advice here read the posts from other members.
 

Etoyoc

Junior Rat Expert
After they made kids they don't care about them, because I personally know the case when Tunisian woman, married Algerian male, left her 100% Tunisian kids from her 1rst marriage with her mother. As if she started her life from the new sheet, and those children are kind of hosts from the past. How sweet indeed. And I even don't mention about children from non-arabic women. At the same time they would not forget to post touching pictures of babies in their social medias- "look, what I am capabale of doing". And our women read such a message absolutely wrong , like "oh, he likes children, what a beautiful and protective husband he will be". No. That's huge mistake to think like this.
Well, this is basically correct, however, it is also a part of a different society thinking.

For your example - when a woman has a child from someone and marries someone else, he second husband will often not accept the children of the first husband. Now the woman has the choice of staying alone or at her parents with a child (and often without work and when the father of the child has no money either, with very little, if at all, social welfare and little change of re-marrying) or she leaves the child behind (with her or even the fathers parents) and moves to the new husband. For some women, it is a matter of existence and future.

It has to be pointed out though, that the thinking towards children is changing in parts of the tunisian society and is becoming more western, at least when the parents can afford it and/or are better educated. Whether this is of advantage for the children, remains to be seen, though. Also, the average number of children for a tunisian woman is decreasing, not long ago, 6, 8 and more children were not unusual, today the average is around 2, which leaves more room for education and the money has to be divided by less heads in a family.
And the number of women with a secondary and even academic education is raising, the marriage age is rising and the social ousting of unmarried women by the age of 30 or 35 is decreasing.
However, it all happens before the background of an economic problematic, very problematic, situation and little or social welfare at all which imposes grievance for low income families and older people - even much more than it does for adult, young, single men.

I agree that quite a few of the "family sense" that westerners see in Tunisia, has a different reason or intensity than it appears to be. This also is a result of the traditions and society values, but must be judged by their background (and not by the way western people are thinking). Note, eg. the lack of western-style toys with tunisian children or note how they take part in the daily life and fall to sleep sometimes late at night whereever they are at that time. Again, it is a different concept of education and children as part of the society that we might not relate to and might not understand, especially, when we have been educated and have grown up in a different way and environment.

This is just a sort insight or discussion contribution, the situation has many faces, many problems, and, on top of it, many traditions that need a close and deep look - it is too simple, to try to put it all together in a sack and watch it with western eyes from the viewpoint of a western society...
 

AmberHeart

Lady Amberheart of Gafsa
Sad as it is

Sad as it is it is legally allowed to divorce if they cannot have children - that shows how important it is for them.

They will not adopt (usually) and they will not accept children from a previous marriage although it has been known but is very rare.

We find it hard to comprehend but we are far more emotional and welcome children into our lives for whatever reason or curve balls life throws at us.

The culture and traditions are very different to ours - it will take a very rare relationship to overcome this.

The more @Tinkerbell reads about the culture the better.

MH x
they fake so well they accept children from previous relationships, my ex rat was buying presents for one of his victims child... all to get a visa.... then he was calling her faulty, he was accepting her despite being faulty...:Evil:
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
they fake so well they accept children from previous relationships, my ex rat was buying presents for one of his victims child... all to get a visa.... then he was calling her faulty, he was accepting her despite being faulty...:Evil:
They don't accept but yes they pretend to accept children but it's all fake.

Disgusting.

MH x
 
F

Former member 10

Guest
It was him actually that showed me what he needs to be able to get to here.
Vv application, funds to show that he can take care of himself, letter with means for return etc.

Don’t get me wrong, I will never ever out a penny towards anything. Don’t have the means to do so anyway, and even if I would have, that still would be no from me.

All his sisters are married, one off them is married to a German man.

A lot off them do not have social media as far as my understanding goes, because that’s the easiest way to get caught?

Save your money he will be refused it's rare very rare they get visit visas
 

Livia

Member
Now I am really impressed- they need to have ( sorry, significant mistake), they need to made children to prove they are high-quality males (females, though it's applied more for men). After they made kids they don't care about them, because I personally know the case when Tunisian woman, married Algerian male, left her 100% Tunisian kids from her 1rst marriage with her mother. As if she started her life from the new sheet, and those children are kind of hosts from the past. How sweet indeed. And I even don't mention about children from non-arabic women. At the same time they would not forget to post touching pictures of babies in their social medias- "look, what I am capabale of doing". And our women read such a message absolutely wrong , like "oh, he likes children, what a beautiful and protective husband he will be". No. That's huge mistake to think like this.
Hmmm..interesting info on this site. I don't know much about tunisians or their culture/mentality. do they even marry their other Arab "brethren"?
they seem like such a narrow-minded society, i'm at a loss for words. i thought tunisia was probably one of the most open-minded countries in africa because of their long history of French influence...
 

JGG

Well-Known Member
Save your money he will be refused it's rare very rare they get visit visas
They have and USE social media more than you or I will ever use in a lifetime......they are social media experts....the country is poor but these men will always find a social media way to scam you.....be very careful who you invite into your social media life....it could end up destroying your real life

EDUCATE YOURSELF PLEASE♡
 

Etoyoc

Junior Rat Expert
they are social media experts
Which is, for some, like experts in soap bubble blowing. Most people don't really need (which is not the same as "want"...) neither them, nor world-public social media presence. However, if one engages in it, one should be prepared for wet clothes ... or the forseeable social media fallout.
 
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Livia

Member
No, in Africa, it isn't - but if you mean the islamic world, that is rather true, but they share their rank more or less with Morocco and Turkey.
i've a hard time believing this after reading about their marriage traditions/ culture on this forum. and dont get me started on turkey! it's not even close to being an open-minded society!
 

Livia

Member
You might want to visit some other true arabic countries then. :)
Hahaha...never did visit any arab country..but visited Turkey and what i saw and experienced there was unreal! talk about a bunch of hypocrites, liars, harrassers, aggressors, fakers, cheaters, thieves, con artists, fraudsters, etc etc...you name it...i'll be here all day listing all the negatives. VERY similar to Tunisia based on what i'm reading here. i also noticed Turkish people are a VERY VERY envious lot! They envy anyone who has more money...be it the lowest of economic classes, beggars, etc .. they'll still be envious of them..and the worst part of this is they take their envy out on you to put you down & make you feel like brown substance..so they can sit back & take pleasure from it....wait, it gets better: they think they're "better" than those Arabs....as if i'll believe that suuuure :whistle: :whistle: ... sick society and i'll NEVER go back!
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
i am not that knowledgeable about the law, but no one from Tunisia can visit the uk?
Business owners, atheletes, paying students usually kids of Rich business owners can and do get visas because they have a reason to return to the Country. But the business owners are registered and pay their own visa costs because if they Marry a European they get the magic free pass to the World. So they don’t necessarily ask for money. What most members say is true it is nearly impossible to get visas approved from North Africa as the Home Office love taking fees and stamping denied for some reason not mentioned in the list of paperwork. Like he won’t leave UK after his stay. So poorer Tunisians without huge bank balances or house owners have virtually no chance especially if you have not met in person and it is just an online relationship as in your case. I know cos I tried twice for visitor visas and twice the same answer. It’s now 3 years down the line and a lawyer said I had a chance for Fiancé visa. This is indeed even more difficult than a Spouse visa and I doubt if it makes legal history, more like daytime reality if I was an American the K-1 is slightly more flexible. In a nutshell if he wants to visit you let him pay for everything. Some ladies are married to Tunisians who haven’t paid for their husbands expenses. Obviously their husbands weren’t poor good looking sweet adorable pet mice. They are labelled rats until they can prove otherwise i.e. stay married after the LTR leave to remain and citizenship. Indeed many such poverty stricken with newly acquired wealth do abandon ship for various reasons like missing their rats nest they call home. They then return to their origins and make babies with a much younger rattress. And live happily ever after without you. Unless....he actually loves you as indeed I’m inclined to think mine does but if not I’ve had one heck of a helter skelter (expensive) ride!
 

Judithlyn

Senior Rat Expert
Business owners, atheletes, paying students usually kids of Rich business owners can and do get visas because they have a reason to return to the Country. But the business owners are registered and pay their own visa costs because if they Marry a European they get the magic free pass to the World. So they don’t necessarily ask for money. What most members say is true it is nearly impossible to get visas approved from North Africa as the Home Office love taking fees and stamping denied for some reason not mentioned in the list of paperwork. Like he won’t leave UK after his stay. So poorer Tunisians without huge bank balances or house owners have virtually no chance especially if you have not met in person and it is just an online relationship as in your case. I know cos I tried twice for visitor visas and twice the same answer. It’s now 3 years down the line and a lawyer said I had a chance for Fiancé visa. This is indeed even more difficult than a Spouse visa and I doubt if it makes legal history, more like daytime reality if I was an American the K-1 is slightly more flexible. In a nutshell if he wants to visit you let him pay for everything. Some ladies are married to Tunisians who haven’t paid for their husbands expenses. Obviously their husbands weren’t poor good looking sweet adorable pet mice. They are labelled rats until they can prove otherwise i.e. stay married after the LTR leave to remain and citizenship. Indeed many such poverty stricken with newly acquired wealth do abandon ship for various reasons like missing their rats nest they call home. They then return to their origins and make babies with a much younger rattress. And live happily ever after without you. Unless....he actually loves you as indeed I’m inclined to think mine does but if not I’ve had one heck of a helter skelter (expensive) ride!
PLEASE read and re-read what YOU just wrote.....over and over and over!!!!! WE are trying to save your money for YOU, the person who earned and made it! Do NOT pay another euro for his visa, his travel, anything! You are going to end up devastated cause he has brainwashed you, but you will recover. It took me 1 and 1/2 years to recovery from what my ElHamma bastard did to me. I know exactly what you are going to face, but please stop kidding yourself. He does not even love himself....none of them do, so I’m sorry, but it’s not love from his heart....It’s love of your pocketbook and your country. I know you can reach him 24/7. I could too. He still cheated! He still lied! Tunisian culture is the same as the 5th century. Older women are NEVER accepted. We are used to buy the gold, house, and wedding to their intended spouse....usually a first cousin....in the southern parts of Tunisia. Close your pocketbook. Make him go after his own visa without your assistance in any way. You will see the REAL him! Another question....do you really want to be legally and financially liable for him in the UK????? Think about it!!!!!
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
PLEASE read and re-read what YOU just wrote.....over and over and over!!!!! WE are trying to save your money for YOU, the person who earned and made it! Do NOT pay another euro for his visa, his travel, anything! You are going to end up devastated cause he has brainwashed you, but you will recover. It took me 1 and 1/2 years to recovery from what my ElHamma bastard did to me. I know exactly what you are going to face, but please stop kidding yourself. He does not even love himself....none of them do, so I’m sorry, but it’s not love from his heart....It’s love of your pocketbook and your country. I know you can reach him 24/7. I could too. He still cheated! He still lied! Tunisian culture is the same as the 5th century. Older women are NEVER accepted. We are used to buy the gold, house, and wedding to their intended spouse....usually a first cousin....in the southern parts of Tunisia. Close your pocketbook. Make him go after his own visa without your assistance in any way. You will see the REAL him! Another question....do you really want to be legally and financially liable for him in the UK????? Think about it!!!!!
Thank you for your genuine concern. My Fiancé is also from Elhamma. I’m not familiar with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) but brainwashing or black magic whatever is a distinct possibility..some friends call it grooming. Maybe. These simple, cunning men do seem to follow a formula to hook their victims. TLR has been a learning curve and I agree with most of what has been politely said about their tactics and goals as a collective. In Nigeria they have similar scams and even “schools” to teach them how to manipulate ladies and visas However I do believe my Love is genuinely reciprocated as he’s a good looking man not short of female attention, richer, younger and less complicated than our visa situation if it was purely for those reasons. We fell in Love and he is consistent in staying in touch everyday and putting up with my various mood changes and the fact he can’t marry me in Tunisia he could easily get married to someone else. I too could remarry in UK and have turned down several proposals over the years. In fact the last proposal before Zied was a young Englishman whom I just laughed at uncontrollably as he was two decades younger. He came from a wealthy family. I never paid on dates. The prior proposal was Welsh living in UK, 17 years older than me but young looking for his age, own house, affluent, semi retired divorcee. I never seek out a person based on age, nationality and in all cases these men approached me. I have been alone most of my life as I won’t marry unless it’s for love. I had my doubts so came here and what is money? It is to earn, make, inherit, spend on living. If these rats find achievement in using and abusing other people’s generosity because they lack conscience, morals are dishonest using religion or poverty as an excuse then I’m sure God will redress the balance, forgive or punish. The lesson to be learned here is to be aware. I don’t care about acceptance by small minded people wherever. I cared too much in the past about fitting in with societal expectations and had low self esteem issues. Life is about being Authentic to yourself first then others. Sadly too many women do the opposite and put the needs of others first. I’m disgusted by the social status these rats display using the only person who loved them with “nothing” to offer show off. It’s not an achievement to deceive and it is right they should be put in the gallery as a reminder to others. I’m hoping I never have to add to it. I’m sorry you experienced heartache it is akin to bereavement. Life is too short for prolonged anger, tears, it is self defeating. Forgiving oneself and letting go of the past and rebuilding your life is paramount to healing. I’ve lost my parents, some siblings, lifestyle to a great extent, I don’t want to lose myself anymore to depression. My Fiancé lifted me out of a dark hole, I’m still clawing my way out. On the surface everything looks rosy. I’m not going to lose my chance of happiness through fear of failure. I keep my promises as he does.
 

Myriam1

Well-Known Member
Pussycatz, I do feel very sorry for you, you are the ideal rat victim. You were depressed, he lifted you out of a dark hole...and that's good. Hope he'll never push you back into that dark hole again, but chances he does are so huge!!! Vaya con Dios my dear...
 

Croydon girl

Junior Rat Expert
Thank you for your genuine concern. My Fiancé is also from Elhamma. I’m not familiar with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) but brainwashing or black magic whatever is a distinct possibility..some friends call it grooming. Maybe. These simple, cunning men do seem to follow a formula to hook their victims. TLR has been a learning curve and I agree with most of what has been politely said about their tactics and goals as a collective. In Nigeria they have similar scams and even “schools” to teach them how to manipulate ladies and visas However I do believe my Love is genuinely reciprocated as he’s a good looking man not short of female attention, richer, younger and less complicated than our visa situation if it was purely for those reasons. We fell in Love and he is consistent in staying in touch everyday and putting up with my various mood changes and the fact he can’t marry me in Tunisia he could easily get married to someone else. I too could remarry in UK and have turned down several proposals over the years. In fact the last proposal before Zied was a young Englishman whom I just laughed at uncontrollably as he was two decades younger. He came from a wealthy family. I never paid on dates. The prior proposal was Welsh living in UK, 17 years older than me but young looking for his age, own house, affluent, semi retired divorcee. I never seek out a person based on age, nationality and in all cases these men approached me. I have been alone most of my life as I won’t marry unless it’s for love. I had my doubts so came here and what is money? It is to earn, make, inherit, spend on living. If these rats find achievement in using and abusing other people’s generosity because they lack conscience, morals are dishonest using religion or poverty as an excuse then I’m sure God will redress the balance, forgive or punish. The lesson to be learned here is to be aware. I don’t care about acceptance by small minded people wherever. I cared too much in the past about fitting in with societal expectations and had low self esteem issues. Life is about being Authentic to yourself first then others. Sadly too many women do the opposite and put the needs of others first. I’m disgusted by the social status these rats display using the only person who loved them with “nothing” to offer show off. It’s not an achievement to deceive and it is right they should be put in the gallery as a reminder to others. I’m hoping I never have to add to it. I’m sorry you experienced heartache it is akin to bereavement. Life is too short for prolonged anger, tears, it is self defeating. Forgiving oneself and letting go of the past and rebuilding your life is paramount to healing. I’ve lost my parents, some siblings, lifestyle to a great extent, I don’t want to lose myself anymore to depression. My Fiancé lifted me out of a dark hole, I’m still clawing my way out. On the surface everything looks rosy. I’m not going to lose my chance of happiness through fear of failure. I keep my promises as he does.
So, what will happen if he gets denied this visa to the UK? ( which he will!!)
 

simple

Ratslayer
Thank you for your genuine concern. My Fiancé is also from Elhamma. I’m not familiar with NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) but brainwashing or black magic whatever is a distinct possibility..some friends call it grooming. Maybe. These simple, cunning men do seem to follow a formula to hook their victims. TLR has been a learning curve and I agree with most of what has been politely said about their tactics and goals as a collective. In Nigeria they have similar scams and even “schools” to teach them how to manipulate ladies and visas However I do believe my Love is genuinely reciprocated as he’s a good looking man not short of female attention, richer, younger and less complicated than our visa situation if it was purely for those reasons. We fell in Love and he is consistent in staying in touch everyday and putting up with my various mood changes and the fact he can’t marry me in Tunisia he could easily get married to someone else. I too could remarry in UK and have turned down several proposals over the years. In fact the last proposal before Zied was a young Englishman whom I just laughed at uncontrollably as he was two decades younger. He came from a wealthy family. I never paid on dates. The prior proposal was Welsh living in UK, 17 years older than me but young looking for his age, own house, affluent, semi retired divorcee. I never seek out a person based on age, nationality and in all cases these men approached me. I have been alone most of my life as I won’t marry unless it’s for love. I had my doubts so came here and what is money? It is to earn, make, inherit, spend on living. If these rats find achievement in using and abusing other people’s generosity because they lack conscience, morals are dishonest using religion or poverty as an excuse then I’m sure God will redress the balance, forgive or punish. The lesson to be learned here is to be aware. I don’t care about acceptance by small minded people wherever. I cared too much in the past about fitting in with societal expectations and had low self esteem issues. Life is about being Authentic to yourself first then others. Sadly too many women do the opposite and put the needs of others first. I’m disgusted by the social status these rats display using the only person who loved them with “nothing” to offer show off. It’s not an achievement to deceive and it is right they should be put in the gallery as a reminder to others. I’m hoping I never have to add to it. I’m sorry you experienced heartache it is akin to bereavement. Life is too short for prolonged anger, tears, it is self defeating. Forgiving oneself and letting go of the past and rebuilding your life is paramount to healing. I’ve lost my parents, some siblings, lifestyle to a great extent, I don’t want to lose myself anymore to depression. My Fiancé lifted me out of a dark hole, I’m still clawing my way out. On the surface everything looks rosy. I’m not going to lose my chance of happiness through fear of failure. I keep my promises as he does.
Well after reading this ,,,im going to have to lie down in a darkened room untill my sanity returns..
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
So, what will happen if he gets denied this visa to the UK? ( which he will!!)
[/QUOTE
You tell me since you know the future. I dont have a crystal ball.All I know is the present is all anyone is guaranteed. "The Best laid Plans of Men and Mice" (pun intended) a good read. Meaning things dont always go to plan in which you either give up or change course. So you can gloat if the former happens. You forgot to mention my age in this comment. Seeing it's not a Home Office legal requirement. Remember without prejudice a legality. Can say no more.
 
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