Please

Heidi

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Hi and welcome :)

We talk most of the day via Facebook video chat. He calls me at 9-10am and we talk until noon, hang up so he can shower and get ready for coffee. He then calls me back around 1 being fresh up. We talk until he goes to coffee with his friend around 3pm my time, central time (it's Ramadan so he goes to coffee late as of right now) and visit his uncle. He calls back by 6 and we talk until bed. This is everyday.
May I ask, when does he work :confused:
 

Laura2014

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I've read it. But TBH it sounded prejudice. Like they are all the same. And also did not seem to apply as he has never asked me for anything (yet) and has only given. So I felt i needed info on my personal situation.
It wasn't intended to warn people about the good guys. Of course there are some but they don't find themselves here.

This is a site to warn people about typicle rat behaviour. So yes it's biased, but everything in it is relevant and recent. I thought mine was a good guy too.
 

Heidi

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As of right now he does not. Only on the farm. He said after Ramadan (one more week) he will get a job to save money for my visit. I know not to go there w no money for my own safety but I sure won't be buying him stuff. I've already told him this.
There is an US travel warning for Tunisia https://travel.state.gov/content/passports/en/alertswarnings/tunisia-travel-warning1.html

I've read it. But TBH it sounded prejudice. Like they are all the same. And also did not seem to apply as he has never asked me for anything (yet) and has only given. So I felt i needed info on my personal situation.
May I ask what he gave you :)
 

Laura2014

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You met on line
He has no job
He's invited you to the family home
He wants to stay at a hotel with you
He's asked you to visit there
You can live in Tunisia or the USA .... that will never happen, it's USA all the way.
He's been engaged twice , that will not be approved of and he will have a bad reputation.

You are not from Tunisia .. you will be a temporary bride until he has enough money to either return to Tunisia or to bring his Tunisian wife to the USA.

You met on line ....

You met on line
 

Heidi

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So I've done all the reading about rats and Tunisian men. I honestly find it a bit prejudice that I can find not one good thing online about them. I am a firm believer that not all people are the same. So after having said that, I would like to share my story and based on MY situation get some opinions and advice.
I met a man from Tunisia online. We have been talking for awhile. He is Muslim. I am Christian. We are both 30 w him being 6 months my senior. We talk most of the day via Facebook video chat. He calls me at 9-10am and we talk until noon, hang up so he can shower and get ready for coffee. He then calls me back around 1 being fresh up. We talk until he goes to coffee with his friend around 3pm my time, central time (it's Ramadan so he goes to coffee late as of right now) and visit his uncle. He calls back by 6 and we talk until bed. This is everyday. He has never asked me for money or gifts. He has introduced me to his father and little brother on FB video as well while they was walking on their family farm and showed me all the fruit and olives.... Things seem to be getting deeper. He has asked me to visit for a week in Tunisia bc he wants to introduce me to his family and friends. He said we will travel and visit his country and stay in separate hotel rooms. When we get to his family I can stay w them but I will stay in his sister's room not with him. After we see how the family, friends and we connect (he says they will love me as long as he is happy) we will then decide if we want to marry. He specifically said there is no sex in islam until married and he WILL NOT have relations until we are married. He says he will pay for everything w the visit wedding. I just purchase my plane ticket. He did buy me a Skype credit to call him when he not online. He knows that I am poor. He said call anytime and so far he has answered Everytime I called. He tells me that im not his girlfriend but his hopefully future wife. All the things I've read online have scared me. He has shown me his I'd to prove who he is and his deplomas. He has a couple college deplomas and speaks 4 languages. His English is very, very good. He says when I come that he is taking me to the U.S. embassy so I can ask them about him and any doubts that I have I can get answers. I like him a lot but after reading all the stuff online im very skeptical. He told me that there are good and bad people everywhere in the world (I agree) and that if he wants nothing from me why im scared. That if he is all day everyday on phone w me why am I scared? He said we can live there or come to America. That he is just looking for a (real) woman. He always talking about the business he wants to open if he comes here and everything is a future with me. That nothing will change if he comes here that still he is all day with me except for work. He says he has been engaged to Tunisian woman twice before and the first one did not like his family so he cancelled and second one all she wanted was new phone, new clothes, new everything and he terminated that as well. He said he is looking for a real woman who will respect him, love him, and not be about money. In your opinion... How should I proceed?
Your whole first post screams "RAT", dear. You should forget about him
 

Liona

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Hello BossGirl!
How should I proceed?
My reply for you is- don't take him seriously.

He specifically said there is no sex in islam until married
It's lie. He just wants to convince you "he is correct man" as they say.
He always talking about the business he wants to open if he comes here and everything is a future with me.
As I can see he is already in USA in his dreams. What kind of business he could open spending 24/7 with phone and in coffe shops with his friends? All he needs it's path to USA, that's why he found the girl ( you) from this country.

You say the information on TLR sounds prejudice. May be it could seem like this for someone who has no idea about love scams. But behind every story posted here there are real people.
 

Laura2014

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You have to stay in separate rooms at a hotel. It's illegal for him to enter your room. The tourist police are aware of who stays in the hotels.

A Tunisian man with a western woman may be stopped by police frequently.

It's a dangerous place to be, that's why the USA and uk governments advise against all but essential travel. He will tell you it's very safe and lots of tourists go there. In reality it's not safe. 38 British tourists were murdered then in 2015 and there are frequent threats to tourist areas.

Being invited to the family home is really not acceptable. If a Tunisian man wants to date a girl there his father approaches the girls father and they are introduced but always accompanied by family members. Bringing you to his home is disrespectful to you.
 

Liona

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You have to stay in separate rooms at a hotel. It's illegal for him to enter your room. The tourist police are aware of who stays in the hotels.

A Tunisian man with a western woman may be stopped by police frequently.

It's a dangerous place to be, that's why the USA and uk governments advise against all but essential travel. He will tell you it's very safe and lots of tourists go there. In reality it's not safe. 38 British tourists were murdered then in 2015 and there are frequent threats to tourist areas.

Being invited to the family home is really not acceptable. If a Tunisian man wants to date a girl there his father approaches the girls father and they are introduced but always accompanied by family members. Bringing you to his home is disrespectful to you.
Dear, for whom are you ( all we) telling all this?:D The people who ask the question and after receiving the answers they don't like, escape . Such people are annoying me. Because they remind me the rats.:sick:
 

Mango Chutney

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TBH it sounded prejudice.
Please bear in mind, Laura's post describes rat behaviour specifically, not Tunisian man in general. Out of curiosity, was there anything in Laura's post that sounded familiar to you? Any alarm bells ringing?
You met on line
He has no job
He's invited you to the family home
He wants to stay at a hotel with you
He's asked you to visit there
You can live in Tunisia or the USA .... that will never happen, it's USA all the way.
He's been engaged twice , that will not be approved of and he will have a bad reputation.

You are not from Tunisia .. you will be a temporary bride until he has enough money to either return to Tunisia or to bring his Tunisian wife to the USA.

You met on line ....

You met on line
You have deleted your main post since I read it, but to be honest, I can't better what Laura has written here. You have a story absolutely full of red flags, if your post was still here, as somebody that lived in Tunisia with a rat...I could have picked it to pieces.

Can I ask please, whereabouts in Tunisia does this man live and why does he have no employment? Why has he fished a woman on the internet from thousands of miles away? Tunisia offers some beautiful girls....and many of them have sex outside of marriage, so please don't fall for that tosh.

How does he intend to pay for flights, a visa and a business in America, when all he does at home is help with the family olive farm? For the record, olives cost just a couple of dinar in Tunisia, many families (including my rat family) have an olive tree in the back yard....there's not much money in olives in Tunisia.
 

Laura2014

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Dear, for whom are you ( all we) telling all this?:D The people who ask the question and after receiving the answers they don't like, escape . Such people are annoying me. Because they remind me the rats.:sick:
We were all here once @Liona , give her time. I adored my rat and my early posts here reflected my reluctance to believe it. I could not believe that the lovely kind sincere man I knew could be a rat. He told me so many times he was not like this, that he was a good guy.

I was already invested by then and hated the prospect of letting him go and lingered. Then true for form eventually came the sudden tragedies, being robbed, needing money, wanting a business in Tunisia for us of course.... it takes a while as you know and sometimes it's very very hard to let go.
 

Liona

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We were all here once @Liona , give her time. I adored my rat and my early posts here reflected my reluctance to believe it. I could not believe that the lovely kind sincere man I knew could be a rat. He told me so many times he was not like this, that he was a good guy.

I was already invested by then and hated the prospect of letting him go and lingered. Then true for form eventually came the sudden tragedies, being robbed, needing money, wanting a business in Tunisia for us of course.... it takes a while as you know and sometimes it's very very hard to let go.
I think you are right. I just had no one who could explain me what happened. May be I would not believe as well than.:)
 

Mango Chutney

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Sorry, I have to disagree here ;) Tunisia is the the second largest producer of Olive oil after Spain
They're not worth a lot of money. Houssem looked at going into an olive business, after pricing everything up, he learned his overheads would absolutely overpower any money coming in, the only way to get any decent income is with a very old, well established business. Olives are ten a penny there. His farm cannot possibly be old and established, else he would not be looking for alternative employment after Ramadan and fishing women online...this tells me money is an issue.
Houssem also wanted to start a tuna fish and then a shoe factory...it's all fantasy.
 

Laura2014

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Yes I understand that. I didn't mean to be offensive. Does anything I mentioned sound like rat behavior? How long does it usually take for the rat to come out of hiding
For some it's a few hours, truly people here have had marriage proposals within a day of meeting on line. Been introduced to family and planed a trip!

For others it may come after a few weeks or months but for one member here it was 15 years before he left and got engaged to the Tunisian cousin. As I said in my thread, they can be in it for the quick benefit or the long haul. Yours sounds like it the long term investment.

In my case it was about five months.

Tunisia is in a desperate position. More than 50% of men under 30 are unemployed. There are no state benefits, no jobs no industry and many feel no future. Leaving Tunisia is a way of finding a future and supporting family. Maybe you will be one of the 1% if you are very lucky there are a few members who have made a success.

You describe love bombing, he's constantly in contact, it's very very addictive, mysterious and hooks you in. Use this time very wisely. Learn how to search here and on line. I know you read my thread but read it again twice.... I think you already have doubts. Please Listen to them.
 

Mango Chutney

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Also, in Tunisia, I was allowed to bring back excess weight in Tunisian made wine and olive oil, they were trying to attract markets outside of Tunisia, this didn't affect my duty free allowance or anything. Olives and olive oil are dirt cheap in Tunisia....and damn tasty!! Does his olive farm actually produce the oil, Boss Girl, or just grow the olives?
 

Liona

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Also, in Tunisia, I was allowed to bring back excess weight in Tunisian made wine and olive oil, they were trying to attract markets outside of Tunisia, this didn't affect my duty free allowance or anything. Olives and olive oil are dirt cheap in Tunisia....and damn tasty!! Does his olive farm actually produce the oil, Boss Girl, or just grow the olives?
Mango, I think... may be come as it may..why does'not we find some tuni guy with olive and dates plantation:D:D:D. I love it!:p
 

Mango Chutney

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we will be here to pick up the pieces later....
Yep, same old, same old :rolleyes: The twags will tell you everything you want to hear, Bossgirl, but here....we will point out red flags and can spot a rat fast! We are not prejudiced, just realistic, but if you want to give it a go anyway, twags is the site for you...we just pick up the pieces and mop the tears up afterwards here, because while the specs are on, our truths aren't welcomed.
Mango, I think... may be come as it may..why does'not we find some tuni guy with olive and dates plantation:D:D:D. I love it!:p
Ha, well I almost had an olive rat....but he had no money to finance his unrealistic dream. Obviously, I ruined his dream when I brought a practical aspect into it :rolleyes::D:D
 

Gorgeous

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I really hope this lady listens to all the advice given here. It will save a lot of heartache.
My situation - as written on TLR - I guess was longer than most but apart from the emotional side - I was the stronger partner which I am proud of. Yes I had to get rid of him but it was the best solution.
I understand how we all fell in love , if we can call it that, but we have moved on and kept our dignity - not a word in the rat vocabulary!
 

Don Mar

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it's seems you work for the Tunisian employement agency!!!!! more than 50 % wow,

Not all Tunisian want to leave, still their lots of good opportunities here

AND TUNISIA ISNT A POOR COUNTRY, it has STILL a corrupted system and our resources are diverted elsewhere, Tunisia produce about 1.2 million barils of oil per day, according to lots of experts

if someone failed or get scammed or been dumbed, it doesnt mean it should or must happen to every one else
 
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