Possible Coping Stratagy

see clearly

Junior Rat Expert
I really had not thought about my ex rat until today. I did not realise how thick someone can be. Obviously extremely devious and clever in terms of bezness but cannot grasp the fact of changing his address. Today envelope arrived and it threw me slightly - i warned him never ever have mail delivered to my address! Hey presto - i am now unsettled. Before, i texted informing him to collect. So f..k it - it is now in the rubbish. I'm sick and tired of being Miss Understanding.!
my hairdresser often sees him in town - en route to the coffee shops, to bullshit and flaunt how wonderful his life is now.
I should not let the letter situation get to me but im not feeling 100% today and resistance is low. Tomorrow another day.
Glad I chucked it just contact the mail to redirect it if u can. Best never seen at all . They don't listen to anything we say . Hugs xxxxx
 

Heidi

Inactive
Today envelope arrived and it threw me slightly - i warned him never ever have mail delivered to my address! Hey presto - i am now unsettled. Before, i texted informing him to collect. So f..k it - it is now in the rubbish. I'm sick and tired of being Miss Understanding.!
A clear "Recipient died" on the envelope, before you toss it back in the mailbox, should do it ;)
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
Thank u ladies for the ideas. I did open it - first time ever - he, on the other hand - was so nosey he routinely opened mine - which is so rude. I checked the envelope bcos he often gets final demands for non-payment of bills. Never learns.
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
How true! Yes MC - I could have written 'not known here' but he is not a child - he knows what to do - well, he should by now. I have one child - don't need two!
The letter was from his work place - and he has to inform change of address. Seeing his stupid name threw me - and I should be stronger than that.
Last night the whole scenario went around and around in my head. As has been mentioned - re family in on the scam. It makes me feel so sick and awful - I just want to go into a hole and blot it all out. How could they be so deceitful? Where is all the religion? Were they laughing behind my back? Guess I will never know but it does not say much for their society. Has put a bad taste in my mouth.
I go over situations and they are exactly the same as other members experience.
Surely after so many years it could not have all been a lie?
He was tall, handsome, no disgusting habits, wonderful cook, gave me confidence - and yet underneath all this - it was not genuine. On the down side - lazy, marathon sleeping sessions and never showed any enthusiasm for anything. He lied all the time. With all what he had - never satisfied - has to be Mr Hero in front of the family - marry a cousin, produce and live in Europe. I'm just curious to know how many lies he has told wifey and will he ever stop?
He did read the same manual as the other scammers - 'age is just a number - don't want kids' - etc. etc. and as I mentioned earlier - I was cautious. I guess leopards never change their spots!
 

see clearly

Junior Rat Expert
He was a slick worker it seems just from going on what u have written . They know stuff like this unsettles us. I am the same although I think mines that pissed off with me I mustn't be worth it lol. I did drop a total bombshell on his family and cousin and didn't hold back what I thought of the scam and fine go ahead she won't be worth it just as women are all the same good luck and goodbye you arseholl lol. Was them swiftly blocked on face book lol. He wil talk her round but she will always have the voice in her head. Alternatively she might have known all along who knows. It's best not to care if you can hugs xxxx
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
I don't if it possible to trust anyone again - certainly not a Tunisian.
The times i got upset feeling sorry for him and other guys being so desperate to change their lives and it was all a lie - they used and abused our kindness.
And no matter how much i ranted about the unfairness he still was the winner.
Ramadan starting soon - praying for forgiveness - hypocrites! I hope one day they get what they deserve.
 

see clearly

Junior Rat Expert
There is guy sat outside my flat he is begging in the street. I know he would be ecstatitic if i gave him even £5 or £10 he doesnt aggresively act but becaus eof rat i cant even afford really to give him £5 just a few pound maybe 2 x per month. I saw him today he looks in pain - of course ehes on drugs but i think he is dying or will die soon - i have given him the odd £5 recently. I walked past him today i feel terrible. I feel terrible about it. Feels like nothing now to just go out there and give him a few pounds but i dont . Even beggers here are too proud here to beg and be rat like tunisian ( or maroccon or other countries etc ) im not being specific . They prefer to lie in the dirt in pain starving often dying before asking for money and thats just on the street. They dont easily sell thier bodies, defraud women manipulate them etc demand £100 , "£200 a £1000 even for help then ask again in a few months the same my baby pls help me i have big problem goat ate my money etc etc .... They dont aggressivly hassle . Th emost aggresive thing he does is sit outside my flat day after day . I told him im sorry i cant help you anymore i have big problems and gave him £2 or something in change a few weeks ago and have often given him th e odd £3 or £5 and a sandwhich or something from the bakery.
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
You r still the kind thoughtful person you have always been after all what the rat did to u. Well done! We will never lower our standards unlike the begging scum we had the misfortune to meet. I hope your beggar will b ok. You will b ok also.
Bye for now.
Hugs
 

see clearly

Junior Rat Expert
You r still the kind thoughtful person you have always been after all what the rat did to u. Well done! We will never lower our standards unlike the begging scum we had the misfortune to meet. I hope your beggar will b ok. You will b ok also.
Bye for now.
Hugs
Yeah i did go back out with my £2 in change lol but he had gone :0( i dont want to encourage him his face lights up when he sees me . But like i say its like only a few £s or 5£ i hope he will be ok he looks really shite . I dont know how he lives .Its unbelivable in a way . I wnat to lean arabic so when i walk past the taxi drivers i know what they are saying. They are mostly a nice bunch of arabic guys they know i must live here somewhere i walk past every day. I dont want to yell Baranek or whatever lol but id like some witty retort in arabic lol they nearly die if you speak to them in own language they are like what the fuck !! lol but they are a plesant bunch they shout all the time to talk lol and constantly talk talk talk ( only arabic men do this ) what about i dont know but they do all day and into the night lol . :O) - living in a city - interesting lol
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
I can understand your want to help, SC, but you know what, if you really want to help him....give him food and drink. If you give him cash, he will spend it on cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, these are luxury items that he really won't benefit from. Food and drink is great, maybe even an old blanket, but not cash. You have a really good heart, but just make sure he doesn't take advantage of your generosity. Our own homeless often do have pride, the rats have no pride, nor do they have any idea what true suffering is....our homeless folk are a step above them!
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
Probably repeating myself but i would never have known about bezness if this site had not existed. It never occurred to me to search about Tunisian men - i just imagined everything was correct - honest - as we all were. It really is hard to understand! Im so embarrassed to think it was all false. It's so hurtful.
 

see clearly

Junior Rat Expert
I can understand your want to help, SC, but you know what, if you really want to help him....give him food and drink. If you give him cash, he will spend it on cigarettes, alcohol and drugs, these are luxury items that he really won't benefit from. Food and drink is great, maybe even an old blanket, but not cash. You have a really good heart, but just make sure he doesn't take advantage of your generosity. Our own homeless often do have pride, the rats have no pride, nor do they have any idea what true suffering is....our homeless folk are a step above them!
yeah thats a good idea food yes that is better i never thought really
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
All the rats gearing up to do ramadan.
No conscience whatsoever for their dreadful actions. The Tuni women sit and wait for the rewards having never lifted a finger! All from our hard work.
They become like prostitutes as the rats - selling their souls for material goods, and knowing how their rats obtained the finances.
I will never visit the country again and it will take a long time to progress further.
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
I am able to cope with most of what has happened with my ex but the one thing that makes me so mad is the deceit! How could it have happened? I'm at a loss to understand and have no answers. How can I possibly move forward never knowing what was true. No point in ever asking the rat bcos he does not know the meaning of honesty. Curious to know if any member received an apology.
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
Curious to know if any member received an apology.
Yeah, I received countless apologies....they were soooo freakin dramatic....and fake!!
"I'm so sorry, never again, I promise, I really love you, stoopid, please don't leave me, pleeeeeease, I love you so much, please, I'll block them all, I don't need those bitches, I'll never assault you again, I need you, you are the only person that understands me" blah de bloody blah :rolleyes:
The freak would literally be on his knees begging, holding onto my legs so I couldn't move, big, fat tears flooding the room, loud sobbing...oh, those dramatic apologies....so worthy of an Oscar!! Now, they provide me with great hilarity, but back then....they really pulled on my silly, soft heartstrings :oops:
I'd rather receive one genuine apology from somebody that meant it and never made the mistake of repeating their behaviour than all that fake crap from a visa hunter. The truth is, the apologies were empty words of nothing, like most of the words they feed us....and if I ever heard that utter shite again, I swear....I'd literally laugh in his face!
If you ever get an apology, then trust me.....it's because you either have, or can access something he needs!!
 

Heba

Well-Known Member
Yeah, I received countless apologies....they were soooo freakin dramatic....and fake!!
"I'm so sorry, never again, I promise, I really love you, stoopid, please don't leave me, pleeeeeease, I love you so much, please, I'll block them all, I don't need those bitches, I'll never assault you again, I need you, you are the only person that understands me" blah de bloody blah :rolleyes:
The freak would literally be on his knees begging, holding onto my legs so I couldn't move, big, fat tears flooding the room, loud sobbing...oh, those dramatic apologies....so worthy of an Oscar!! Now, they provide me with great hilarity, but back then....they really pulled on my silly, soft heartstrings :oops:
I'd rather receive one genuine apology from somebody that meant it and never made the mistake of repeating their behaviour than all that fake crap from a visa hunter. The truth is, the apologies were empty words of nothing, like most of the words they feed us....and if I ever heard that utter shite again, I swear....I'd literally laugh in his face!
If you ever get an apology, then trust me.....it's because you either have, or can access something he needs!!
You also got the dramatic apologies. With all the big words, all the tears and sad stories. People who are geniuely sad does not normally send pictures of themselves crying. One time he even forgot the tears "crying" very dramatic, with not a single tear in his eyes. At a moment I had to smile so he thought I had loosenend up starting to smile as well talking gentle to me, how to go from being so depressed and crying to after a second don't hold traces of it.:p Sometimes he looked crazy though, lost and that made him look sad, but that's all.
 

Gorgeous

Well-Known Member
True on all counts! When he got caught stealing - i threw water at him - got my money back - and told him he was not a man! That got to him. I also phoned his cousin and explained y i was getting him out. Big shame but then i guess they were all scammers. But it does seem that they respect their women more than us bcos that is who they want in the end and the Tuni women r the winners.
As mentioned b4 they never want to discuss anything - sleep, eat, work sometimes, ipad, tv - that is all they do. I found it very boring in the end and just switched off.
 

Mango Chutney

Moderator
Staff member
in person he also tried to kiss my feet.:confused:
Omg, I'm literally howling with laughter!!! Think I'd have pissed me knickers if Houssem had done that! :D:D:D
When he got caught stealing - i threw water at him - got my money back - and told him he was not a man!
Haha, love it, it's brought back a memory! One of the first times Houssem had a paddy and banned me from going out in Ezzahra, I picked up a big bottle of water, hurled it straight at his ugly head and shouted "What sort of a f*cking man are you?!!" ....he dodged, it missed him by about an inch! :D
it does seem that they respect their women more than us
I completely disagree! They do not respect any woman....including their own!
bcos that is who they want in the end
Because for social acceptance and respect, that is what they are expected to do. It's not about who they want, it's about what their stone age culture demands from them.
the Tuni women r the winners.
Winners? Life stuck with a miserable, demanding, controlling man? Those women are not winners, they are not treated with love and respect. A part of me can't blame these women for being so materialistic and greedy, because at the end of the day, children and material possessions are the only beauty and happiness they will see in their marriage.
 

Heba

Well-Known Member
Omg, I'm literally howling with laughter!!! Think I'd have pissed me knickers if Houssem had done that! :D:D:D

Haha, love it, it's brought back a memory! One of the first times Houssem had a paddy and banned me from going out in Ezzahra, I picked up a big bottle of water, hurled it straight at his ugly head and shouted "What sort of a f*cking man are you?!!" ....he dodged, it missed him by about an inch! :D

I completely disagree! They do not respect any woman....including their own!

Because for social acceptance and respect, that it what they are expected to do. It's not about who they want, it's about what their stone age culture demands from them.

Winners? Life stuck with a miserable, demanding, controlling man? Those women are not winners, they are not treated with love and respect. A part of me can't blame these women for being so materialistic and greedy, because at the end of the day, children and material possessions are the only beauty and happiness they will see in their marriage.
I definitely agree. Tunisian women does not get treated better. It is just the norm of their soceity, it is the women they need to take care of them when their mom don't want to do it anymore and will raise their status by giving birth to their children and knows their culture. I will not speak on behalf of all Tunisian women; but I see they get beaten up too, cheated on, left alone all day all night to take care of children and house alone and it is not even because the man works, he is just sitting sipping coffee with his friends or out with a new woman. If a man has been abusive to a woman, has been using her with no care then I will not believe he will be better to the next no matter where she is from, how she looks, etc. Because it is all about him.
 
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