Psychological tips

Orvokki

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2019
Messages
136
MENTAL ABUSE!

Trust your feelings. If it feels wrong then it's wrong! Your life is about trying to understand what they want, how you can make the person happy. You don't really know what's broken in your relationship but you keep trying to repair it. how to behave in order to treat you the same way he treats other people. You often feel anxious and dejected. You have trouble making plans, it all depends on your changing mood. Ashamed of how you let your partner treat you. Every attempt to sort out problems with your partner leaves you frustrated with the feeling that nothing is resolved. It feels like you speak different languages. You feel uncomfortable in their company but you love your partner. You distrust your perception, sometimes you even doubt your mind.When they are nice you wonder if you imagined previous episodes when they treated you badly.You are always on your guard so you do not say or do anything wrong, something that annoys your partner.You repeat your quarrels over and over and try to figure out what went wrong but find no answer.You are scared of your partner but get a sense of conscience for being you. consumes more and more of your time and energy, but you get no legal side of it. You get stress symptoms, such as sleep problems, anxiety, muscle aches, headaches, heart palpitations. , sitting in the car.Sometimes you feel totally powerless, almost apathetic.You have forgotten what is important to you and what you wanted with your life.Do you recognize yourself?
Mental abuse starts to add to physical violence after a while.
 

Snuggle

Junior Rat Expert
Joined
Dec 22, 2017
Messages
468
MENTAL ABUSE!

Trust your feelings. If it feels wrong then it's wrong! Your life is about trying to understand what they want, how you can make the person happy. You don't really know what's broken in your relationship but you keep trying to repair it. how to behave in order to treat you the same way he treats other people. You often feel anxious and dejected. You have trouble making plans, it all depends on your changing mood. Ashamed of how you let your partner treat you. Every attempt to sort out problems with your partner leaves you frustrated with the feeling that nothing is resolved. It feels like you speak different languages. You feel uncomfortable in their company but you love your partner. You distrust your perception, sometimes you even doubt your mind.When they are nice you wonder if you imagined previous episodes when they treated you badly.You are always on your guard so you do not say or do anything wrong, something that annoys your partner.You repeat your quarrels over and over and try to figure out what went wrong but find no answer.You are scared of your partner but get a sense of conscience for being you. consumes more and more of your time and energy, but you get no legal side of it. You get stress symptoms, such as sleep problems, anxiety, muscle aches, headaches, heart palpitations. , sitting in the car.Sometimes you feel totally powerless, almost apathetic.You have forgotten what is important to you and what you wanted with your life.Do you recognize yourself?
Mental abuse starts to add to physical violence after a while.
This is written for me :eek:

He made me feel that there was something wrong with me and he still tries when I see him.
Thanks to this site I can stand up to him now and laugh at him in his face
 

Orvokki

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2019
Messages
136
NARCISSISTIC AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE

NARCISSISTIC AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Providing Information And Support


RED FLAGS OF TOXIC PEOPLE
RED FLAGS OF TOXIC PEOPLE
June 3, 2017 Admin Comments 15 Comments


RED FLAGS OF TOXIC PEOPLE



Not all toxic people are narcissists but we still need to keep these people at arm’s length and not be drawn into their toxicity.



There are often red flags that we should never ignore which can tell us a lot about a person. How many times do we see something at the start of a relationship and ignore it thinking it was a ‘one off?’ By the time we see the next one, we’ve almost forgotten about the first! Please keep them logged in your head. One or two instances may not indicate that someone is truly toxic but when these little red flags are waved in front of you time and time again, they become a massive warning sign of a treacherous path ahead.



  1. This person makes you feel on edge. You can’t really put your finger on the reason but you’ve no doubt there’s something not quite right.
  2. They are rude or talk down to the waiter.
  3. They get too close far too soon. Love doesn’t normally work that way. It takes time for bonds to form and love to grow.
  4. They are charming to the point of being beyond the realms of normality. Trust that old saying, ‘If something appears too good to be true, it probably is.’
  5. They tell you of how their previous partners cheated, lied, were crazy etc. They play the victim and have got you feeling sorry for them. It wasn’t their fault. Yes, you’ve got it… They are the common denominator. They are likely to be the one with the problem.
  6. They have a short supply of genuine friends. Friends don’t usually hang around toxic people for lengthy periods of time.
  7. You do most of the talking. They do the listening, figuring you out, knowing your likes and dislikes so they can pretend to be the person you want them to be. However, once the relationship is established, they switch to talking about themselves which of course is a much more interesting subject!
  8. They criticise your friends and family hoping to create the division that will eventually lead to your isolation from everyone you once held dear.
  9. Although critical of others, they can’t stand a taste of their own medicine, being extremely sensitive to any form of criticism.
  10. You find yourself being compared to ex friends, ex partners and family.
  11. They rarely have anything good to say about anyone.
  12. You feel you have to walk on eggshells around this person.
  13. They demand most of your time.
  14. They hate to be alone. They need people to provide them with their much needed narcissistic supply. Perhaps being alone allows too much time for self – reflection.
  15. They don’t respect your boundaries.
  16. They use passive aggressive behaviour, such as the cold shoulder, stonewalling and the silent treatment for some perceived slight.
  17. They have an uncontrollable rage / anger.
  18. Pathological lying. They lie even when there’s absolutely no need to and truth would be a better option.
  19. They never accept responsibility for their faults or accept blame for anything untoward. Nothing is ever their fault.
  20. This person causes chaos where there was once peace and calm. (Divide and conquer).
  21. They lack morals yet expects yours to be high.
  22. They insult you and if you are offended, they tell you that you’re being much too sensitive.
  23. They suggest what you should wear, how you should do your hair… Once again, this is all about control.
  24. They show their true colours to you whilst maintaining their ‘charm’ to the outside world.
  25. They lack empathy and are either unable or unwilling to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.
  26. They are constantly seeking compliments.
  27. This person has a grandiose view of themselves. However, underneath their grandiosity, may lie a low self-esteem.
  28. They think that they have the ability to know what you are thinking. Only you know that.
  29. They are envious of others’ possessions and / or accomplishments.
  30. They like to be the centre of attention, expecting your praise for minor achievements; expecting their needs to be met, after all, they are much more important than yours.
  31. This person is a serial flirter.
  32. They show no remorse.
  33. If they treat you badly, you must have done something to deserve it!
  34. They have a strong sense of entitlement.
  35. They are jealous of close relationships that you may have.
  36. This person possesses the most fragile of egos.
  37. They acts like they are above the law, rules don’t apply to them.
  38. They rarely apologise, and if they do, it’s either insincere or in their best interests to do so.
  39. They believe they can only be understood by high achieving important people, like themselves.
  40. They are in good form one minute and in bad form the next.
  41. They hold grudges / hatred for a lifetime against those who they believe have wronged them in some way.
  42. They are preoccupied with their image, always wanting to look good in front of others.
  43. They don’t express genuine emotion.
In order to preserve your health and your sanity, keep your distance from toxic people and their flying monkeys as far as humanly possible. There are generally two sides to every story. There is the truth and then there is the toxic person’s version. Their version rarely comes close when it comes to the truth and their flying monkeys or enablers pass judgement without listening to both sides of the story. Be patient. No one can hide from the truth for ever.


Written by
Anne McCrea
you described my husband exactly how he is.
 
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