Psychological tips

Discussion in 'The Cat's Coffee House' started by Liona, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    451ACFC4-FDFD-445A-8286-CAAC43BD7D54.jpeg
    sharing today’s cake xx
     
  2. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    Oh my God....you actually have that!!! :eek:
    Bite it for me, describe the flavour in poetic and fluffy detail.....:oops::oops:
    I'll do the dribbling bit :D
     
  3. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    :D Poetic with my limited English? :eek::p But yes, actually got it to virtually share with you and the girls, let’s have a happy Friday :love:
     
  4. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Who can’t be happy with a bunch of rat-roaches and cake :D:D:D
     
  5. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    Leslie Morgan Steiner: Why victims of domestic violence do not just go

     
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  6. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    Had to log out when I watched this earlier...made me cry :Cry:
    Every word....every damn freakin word....they hit me right in the feels...
     
  7. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    I don't watch these videos anymore...I don't to go back to reliving 15 effen years of mental and physical abuse by my ex-h- narcissist:Cry:...NO THANK YOU!:mad:
     
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  8. juicyfruit

    juicyfruit Well-Known Member

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    The hardest part is learning to forgive yourself first before you will be able to forgive someone else...
     
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  9. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    I do watch them because I need to understand, I want to learn....and I want to help others.

    I need to confront my own anger and self blame to move forward....and this lady describes it perfectly....right down to the moment during the final assault when something inside of her changed.....just as it did for me, when I flew up off that floor like a woman possessed.

    On Wednesday, it is the three year anniversary of the loss of my baby....the baby I lost because of his assaults, so I will continue to watch, I will continue to learn and I will continue to fight....for other victims, for all those other innocent lives lost and destroyed.

    We all cope differently. Some need to put it behind them and not confront it, some prefer to get an understanding, confront it head on and try to make changes.

    I am of the latter, but neither is right or wrong....it's just how our subconscious decides we deal with such trauma :)
     
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  10. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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  11. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    I believe that a rat is a criminal scammer, who sometimes happens to be also a narcissist
    Not a narcissist, who became a rat because of his ailment

    Unbenannt.JPGbhd.JPG
     
  12. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    I beleive this too. My rat was not as bad as a lot of the rats I read about. He seemed almost normal, but he did have a temper at times. He followed the rat book to a T. He lied about almost everything and had many of the misfortunes designed to prompt financial help from his victim. But he wasn’t crazy like some of the rats out there. I think my rat was using me. He had a goal and for him it was just a job. I don’t think the rat loved me at all, ever. I’m not sure if he was a narcissist. But I am sure he was a rat.
     
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  13. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    If they are raised to not trust women or hold women in high enough esteem, then it does make sense that they would feel more attached to men they trust. I beleive that there would be a lot of closet gays in Tunisia. I think they have mental issues. That’s pretty obvious.
     
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  14. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    A rat will blame YOU for letting them hurt you. In their eyes, you were dumb enough to let it happen, so it's your fault.
    A rat will always be an asshole, no matter how much you want him to change
     
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  15. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Moderator

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    Absolutely. If they don’t get what they wanted from you then they see themselves as the victim!
     
  16. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    But how do you know this? Online, mine was practically a saint, but in the flesh...well....you know my experience.
    There is no way of knowing that your rat was not like that too.....as none of us has ever met him....and thank the good freakin Lord for that!
     
  17. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    You’re right.
    I don’t know. He could just have more patience than some, who knows?
    But you are right. Yours was good for a very long time before he cracked his mask. I’m just so lucky I never met him. Who knows where I’d be? I don’t even want to imagine.
     
  18. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    They smile for social media, like they did nothing wrong or like they were role models... 6D47D0B9-F6F0-497A-8715-9F7B53156A00.jpeg
     
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  19. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    I'm not ashamed! (The taboo subject or romance scams)

    So many people treat romance scams as a taboo subject. Often making fun of victims and causing victims to hide the fact they've been scammed. The shame and the ignorance needs to stop. Talking openly helps yourself and helps other victims and non-victims alike


     
  20. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    I guess I feel like my rat was not that bad because I never really seen his temper explode. He did have a few moments, but he didn’t show unusual aggression. It’s really hard for me to imagine him being that mean. But on the other hand, now I know that he did show the scammer side many times. And, he did hurt me emotionally several times. Perhaps it’s the type of abuse that can vary?
    His game fell apart before his mask cracked.
     
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  21. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    I can relate. I never seen the other side of my rat either as the only time he showed rat behaviour was when he gave me silent treatment.
    I have no doubt that I would have seen the real him once I went to Tunisia and I believe the same for you
     
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  22. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    My rat controlled his temper too, but I could see that it took him a superhuman effort to do so rofl.gif But I met him in person ;)
     
  23. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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  24. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Freaks want to remain friends after they already destroyed their victim. Mine asked me for favors after confessed betrayal and ofcourse to remain friends.... 88158ab97a22377a1819987988530892.jpg
     
  25. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    How I made friends with reality | Emily Levine :)

     
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