Random Topics - Feel Free To VENT Here

Discussion in 'The Cat's Coffee House' started by Jisela, Nov 29, 2018.

  1. Judithlyn

    Judithlyn Well-Known Member

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    I left off one of their most favorite Apps.....InstaGram! :)
     
  2. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    I knew you were the woman to list them all :D
     
  3. Judithlyn

    Judithlyn Well-Known Member

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    I learned from the master, his Royal asshole, Abdelfuk! ;) (Sorry for the language but there are no nice words to describe him.....that should be engraved on his tombstone!):D
     
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  4. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    My rat deactivated his. I was looking at my blocked accounts and his is missing. I did some searching and it’s gone. He’s probably trying to find the friend who leaked me his ‘boyfriend’ couple portrait. :D:D
    6E0EEEF5-9806-4D73-838A-5993E819034D.gif
     
  5. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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  6. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Yes, hahahaha!!! There were room fulls of women doing it at the weddings and parties.....I had to hide my face in my hands because I was literally crying with laughter :D
     
  7. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    I am guessing it is a ritual or something. I am the kind of person that laughs a lot pretty much at everything and I am pretty darn sure that I probably wouldn't make it through the wedding with this.
     
  8. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    Yep, that’s it! I don’t miss that either :D
     
  9. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    No, you wouldn’t have coped. It was even worse when Leopard was with me, as he is a giggler too.....and you know how it is when you have eye contact with another giggler, when your only just controlling yourself :D
     
  10. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    So, I have to get some documents an apostille and notarized by the Tunisian consulate in Washington, D.C. I was able to get the power of attorney form processing, but the divorce decree requires 2-party signature, and can’t be notarized with just me alone.

    So, I’m waiting to hear back from the Tunisian lawyer. But, happy to be a step closer to the end of this horrible, fraudulent marriage :)
     
  11. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    I’m happy for you :love:
    Until forever and a day, I shall be eternally grateful I didn’t marry mine :thumbsup:
     
  12. Snuggle

    Snuggle Well-Known Member

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    Just a question: can you see when other people are in an abusing relationship.
    Since my rat experience I look way different to other relationships.
    Sometimes I want to interfere and tell people to get out of the relationship.
    For example I am going to a gym and follow some group lessons and every time I see the same couple, and he is so full of himself while she is jumping around him trying to please him.
    He is always saying things to here like she is not doing it right, she better look at him to see how good he is.
    I can see she really doesn’t like it to be at the gym but she is doing it to please him.
    I would love to tell her to get out and that she is better off without him.
    But on the other hand I could be wrong and to tell you the truth I won’t have accepted it when somebody would have told me to get away from my twat rat.
     
  13. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Two weeks ago, I asked my counsellor how will I know if somebody is a narcissist? I was raised by one, yet I still fell for the fake charm of another....and I can’t ever go through this again.

    She told me I will know, that it will take maybe a couple of weeks to know for sure, but I will absolutely know.....that I am now too savvy in this area to get caught again.

    She told me that for signs of narcissism and/or domestic abuse....do not look at the face of the potential guilty party....look at the face and the body language of the person beside him/her.....because that is where the truth lies :)
     
  14. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    I was considering how crazy it is that this kind of crime continues and literally the only recourse women have is appealing to the online community at large. It sometimes is akward and baffling that because Tunisia does not persecute these types of crimes, and there is no law to prosecute crimes at home, that women/children are completely unprotected from violence. It’s surreal.

    Like when we ask why Arab men beat, rape and kill women... shouldn’t we really ask why wouldn’t they? Because it’s encouraged and permitted and men have no real consequences? It’s hard to believe how these loopholes are exploited online... and victims of Tunisian rats are left battling alone after the fact.

    I was raised to think independently but I live in a world that operates like prehistoric ages, and while these crimes happen in the west we have legal recourse. Online and in the Arab world there is almost nothing, at all. It’s hard to internalize that, and you can avoid looking at how evil it is - and I think when we forget it makes us perfect victims again. Really sad stuff.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2019
  15. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    The other sick part is how these rats know the loopholes and exploit them knowing they can literally do almost anything to you and get away with it. Like, how should a victim reframe her reality after recovering from the con and moving on with life because if you laugh and forget, you’re still blind to all these loopholes/secrets/dangers that exist - many that we probably still have not personally experienced.

    Like, I don’t want to live bitter and afraid, but I have to admit I’m terrified of a full recovery and being the person I was before this happened because I have lost my trust for many systems and people... can anyone add to that or relate or reframe that?
     
  16. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    Like what is normal after an experience like this? I was a victim of abuse and fraud, I could have been killed or maimed or ended up in jail - and my rat was a complete liar and fraud, except I was able to recover a little more quickly because I was able to figure out the con and get out. It could have been worse, just like it IS worse for many here...

    Like, what is normal to take from this, watching all these men escape and do it again and again when we have been broken and have to recover... can you really brush it all off and say, that’s just life? Is that really healthy and normal? Or is that just more systemic brainwashing and silencing and abuse. Real questions.
     
  17. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Have same questions as you, I didn’t experienced it as you or other girls here. It was a “lucky escape” tho it made me feel so vulnerable and easy to target that I wasn’t aware I was. My life has been full of moving homes for a couple of years over and over, traveling on vacation or to study abroad. All life I felt secure, suddenly the rat experience made an impact, feel it is very easy to change someone else’s life, started with panic attacks and anxiety, not sleeping just thinking of all his threats and even thinking of other options he could take to destroy me and my loved ones. Perhaps he isn’t that smart nor brave but in my head it is easy to happen. While the worst part is his country do nothing, they do not care because men are entitled to abuse, they are above women. Add the fact a foreigner is even worthless to their eyes and we deserve such treatment. I lost trust too, and have no idea if someday I’m gonna be able to let someone else approach that much. I manage very well only with friends by now. Started going out a little more and getting life back but not like before the rat. Gonna spend Easter traveling, it’s my first trip abroad since breaking up with the rat, At times I feel excited and at times I think I have to cancel..:confused:
     
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  18. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    I’m honestly afraid to know what secrets men can have and the results of those secrets. It’s like I can’t rationally justify being carefree and fun. Even after the rat, I witnessed another guy go crazy on a woman during a verbal disagreement. I don’t want to be shutdown, windows-bolted closed, but I can’t take on these risks again.
     
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  19. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    True, expectation of meeting someone honest without an agenda got narrower..
     
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  20. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    I don’t want to be negative but those are some of the things I struggle with now.
     
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  21. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Me either, but letting you know you ain’t alone.. come on wratlid sing it!! Lol
     
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  22. Jisela

    Jisela Well-Known Member

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    Hehehe that’s all I’ve got sometimes is a little song and dance and laughing at wratlid :D
     
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  23. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    We will be fine, at the end of the day we have a lot to give and good people arround. :love:
     
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  24. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    Go ahead and take your trip Amber. Live your life. Have fun. You can't let these spawns of satan prevent you from doing the things you want and need to do. You deserve it...go!!
     
  25. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    Don’t you dare!!!!! You will have angry Mango to contend with!

    You go on your travels, you earned it, you deserve it! Don’t let him hold you back from living, as my rat has with me. You’ll be amazed at the difference being somewhere else makes, it is only
    now abroad I am almost completely my old me, because it doesn’t know where I am, nobody knows who I am, or who I was before...

    Travel, run free, take photos, sing, dance, create new memories, live....this is your life, you deserve the best :love:
     

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