It may also be confusing because these men live open lives, they are sexually promiscuous, drink alcohol, have gay sex, and do every single kind of behavior that is outside of their religion --- but, these men find no fault with themselves and will hide it and NEVER fess up to it, because it is not important for these men to be accountable for their behavior. And, why? Because they are Tunisian men, they are allowed to keep secrets and do whatever dirty thing they want, it does not matter.
And, just because they do the SAME things people do from democratic countries, does not mean, their value system is like yours! IT IS NOT. They are just allowing themselves to be rebellious, bad people, to exploit you, and destroy your lives, because they see one day, they will eventually settle down and get the chaste virgin (and maybe one day go to the mosque) - but even then, they are still free to do anything!
I know it is confusing, because many women think because they are Muslims they will act like well... Muslims... but, YOU ARE WRONG! Many Tunisian men have never read the Quran in its entirety, they certainly do not have it memorized, they are not going to the mosque, they are drinking alcohol, smoking zatla, having gay sex, prostituting themselves with men and women from all over the world, and even with eachother...
And, even SO... they do not value democratic cultures! They will just say that at the start to give you want you want to hear because they want the visa and the money and the opportunity to build themselves outside of their country, and then return later... for the chaste Tunisian virgin.
Please see yourself through the eyes of Tunisia - and not through your own culture/value system. You must understand this!
What a amazing and strong post.Well, I'm just sneaking back in for a moment. Why not? I didn't really want to post again, but I figured after scrolling this week of threads, it may be somewhat shocking and inappropriate. But, what's the worst that can happen??? May anger some, may cause a shock (maybe a strange laugh)?
I'm doing good. I'm 99.9% cured of rat poison, which is really amazing. I don't think of him, anymore. In fact, I go weeks without him crossing my mind. I don't look back or constantly reconsider it like before. I faced myself and the rat damage (which I was afraid to do); And, I the last major thing I held onto was my guilt for leaving and moving on. I didn't want to stay in Tunisia - and that was sad for me. Most importantly, I needed to see my faults and take a hard look at MYSELF. I overlooked a lot. I surrendered a lot, and my trust was not warranted or healthy with my Tunisian rat, at all. Controlling behavior like that in a relationship is unhealthy ALWAYS, and trust is earned over time. I own it. I made some big mistakes. I suffered the consequences. Plus, I needed to own my behavior leading up to 2016, as well. Go figure.
Otherwise, the USA recently demands all visa applicants surrender 5 years of social media account history (and they will independently research). That would've helped protect me significantly in 2016 (as far as being targetted by a visa scam).
I've got a new project (that I like). The weather is good. I've organized and ironed out all personal issues. Just waiting for the divorce to be finalized. I'm happy to be single, and I don't want to get married again It's not because of the rat or being hurt, it's just honestly something that's good for me. I really like independence.
On a thoughtful ending note: Sometimes, I think that when life tears you down, it's necessary. Something has to move and change and budge. And, change is ALWAYS painful. However you personally choose to see it, once you get to the forgiveness part, life moves on and life is beautiful, even when it's all messed up and everything is broken. One day you're up, and the next, you're down in the dregs, and it's ALL OK. This is life! So, sorry to see the site is a little chaotic. But, somehow, I've got a feeling that in the end, it will be ok. Just wait it out.
Thanks to everyone who directly and indirectly helped (and tolerated) me on this site (through my dark, dark, dark days and nights). I'm out and logging out, again. I just like to visit when I remember those two years in Tunisia, and I'm curious about what's going on in the little country (the place that used to be such a big deal for me) - and is now so far away! I visit just to see what's new here with everyone, too. I hope everything works out for the best. <3 Take care.
Oh I’m so sorry dear. I thought your husband was hard working. Must be hard life for you.So like i was saying before i am jobless still needless to say so is My...(no words)...Not healthy got ms diagnosed a month ago and all he can say to me ja find a job but sits his ass all day in this Tunisian cafe in europe and gets some odd end jobs now and then Whats the matter with This picture am I wrong Not to want to work but get my health checked out
Truth!I did want to write a little bit about how women from outside of Tunisia are deceived because they don't understand a man's mentality from an Arabic country. These men, even if they are not practicing their religion are judging you based upon values and concepts of Islam...
So... if you work, you're independent, want to pay 50/50 for bills (and think they will appreciate that), have concepts of love and dignity and respect and honesty being fundamental parts of a relationship (instead of being owned property like a cow or a horse), think that having fun, partying, going out and doing recreational things together, having a PARTNERSHIP, sharing responsibilities, being respected for not being religious, for being free thinking, for wearing sexy or provocative clothing, smoking, having male and female friends, living your life between work and recreational activities, are not a virgin, are divorced, have had relationships outside of marriage (like dating), share naked photos online, speak about sex online, speak provocatively on Facebook, share photos of yourself on facebook (even respectfully clothed), drinking wine with friends, celebrating Halloween, going to concerts, have tattoos, piercings, are bisexual/homosexual, value being hard-working and economical (having money), etc....
If you believe that the above things will be APPRECIATED and NOT JUDGED, you are WRONG. You are thinking from your OWN ethnocentric thinking, and I don't CARE what the Tunisian rat has told you. All of these things, AND MORE, will be used against you to justify exploiting you MORE. They use all of these things to judge you and make you into being a bad person, BECAUSE...
Democratic values are not the values of Tunisia (and Islam). The ISLAMIC values are the values Tunisian people have been brought up to respect, even if they do not admit it and practice their religion.
Very good post and spot on xTruth!
And it's not just Tunisian, it's Egyptian, Arabs in general. They are misogynists and see women as pets. And not as beloved pets, but under abuse. Just as there are people who hurt their pets, Arabs hurt their women. This makes them powerful in the face of Islam.
There is no interest in sentimental, romantic things. They usually copy and generalize what should a Western woman be enchanted in a love story. You can see demonstrations of ignorance, of falsehood, because they use a lot of loving clichés, rather tacky, because they are foreign to their knowledge. They are troglodytes! Animalistic!
With rare exceptions, there will be an Arab man who values a woman with admiration for her. They just like the women who are their servants, who live quietly and without any opinion. Because only through strength, a rough and loveless man can keep a woman at his feet. Otherwise, the woman will run away from him as the devil runs away from the cross.
That is why the Quran needs to stipulate several punishments for women and describe that men are superior. If a woman studies, she will know that it's all a sham, an artifice of oppression and repression against women.
I had the displeasure of watching some videos of Arab singers on YouTube and I was astonished because in all of them there is the same theme: a man cursing a woman, abandoning her and a woman crying all the time, always chasing him, in tears begging him to come back and the guy just making her suffer and cry. Is that the way to love a woman?! I'm out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They impose that "to love your man" is to agree to be beaten by them.