Rat behavior once in America (from an American that did NOT bring one here. Older ladies, this is really for you!


Junior Rat Expert
I will start by saying, I understand anyone can be scammed regardless of age or looks. That said, I wish to share my story of the things I saw while unknowingly getting involved with a MARRIED Moroccan man brought to the US by a much older woman and being around his Moroccan friends that are likeminded. This happened two years ago but it was traumatic for me. It was very embarrassing and shocking so I couldn’t even imagine how someone that married one of these guys and spent time, money, emotion, had to deal with opposition from their families and friends, just to be lied to, cheated on, and scammed ended up feeling. I have been fascinated with marriage fraud since this experience and hope just the little bit i experienced without even marrying anyone, can help someone before they lose everything. This can happen to anyone no matter how old you are, what you look like, how smart and educated you are. Doesn’t matter. Some people are masters at reading people and their weaknesses.

I’m a younger American woman. I met him at the swimming pool at my apartment complex. At the time, I had no experience with dating a foreigner or even dealing with them at all so I was not aware of the very different mentalities of different cultures so I just saw him as any other man. I’m 11 years younger than he is and his friends are about my age. He saw me and introduced himself and asked me out on a date. I accepted and had a great time with him. We got in to a relationship and I was intrigued by his culture. We had a lot of fun and overtime I developed feelings for him. I saw him everyday and he stayed the night with me a lot and his friends seemed happy for us. He even introduced me to his family on WhatsApp video chat which is a huge deal to me. I even brought him to meet my family a few months later and they thought he was great.

Now, because I wasn’t aware of marriage scams, it did not cross my mind that he had married an American to come here. I assumed it was for work but I didn’t ask either. He did inform me that he was married but is now divorced. I just assumed it was to a Moroccan woman and left it at that. That is where I messed up due to ignorance and no experience with other cultures.

One night, we went to the pool with his friends and I was shocked to see his two MARRIED friends from his country were meeting girls that they were not married to. I watched these guys openly kiss and and all over these girls who were also younger and nice looking. I say this because I found out later they also were here on spousal visas and married to much older women! I’d say the age difference was around 15 years. This shocked me as well but the worst part was my boyfriend seemed comfortable with this as if it was normal to him. I also noticed they thought nothing of having sex with girls their friend may have previously been involved with. First red flag. The other thing that bothered me was they would only speak to each other in their native language right in front of me. I had no clue what was happening. I wanted to say I’m not comfortable but who am I to tell someone what language they should speak?

Later on, I noticed my boyfriend was still doing favors for his ex such as picking up her pain medication at the pharmacy for her. I asked why he was doing this and he told me she was disabled and couldn’t get them herself. That sparked my curiosity I started to wonder if she was much older and if he’s still leading her on. I made a mental note of the name on the prescription bottle and looked her up on Facebook since her first name sounded American. I found her profile and was shocked to see their wedding picture. She looked to be around her 50s or 60s. I also noticed there was no record of a divorce. I confronted him and he came clean. He told me they were separated and not to worry about her and she was cool with him seeing other girls and their separation was mutually decided on but the divorce was a matter of logistics since she lived in another state. I asked why he didn’t tell me and he said he was embarrassed and thought I’d think less of him for marrying her. He then told me some horror stories of how he was tricked and his lack of understanding of American culture was exploited by her and she would threaten to deport him if he didn’t do what she wanted. I continued to hang out with them while I processed what had happened and out of pure curiosity I also spoke to many Moroccan men online to verify what he was telling me. My last straw was when I recorded him saying something in Arabic and asked several online friends to translate it. It was bad. Over the course of a year this is what I saw and heard.

Ladies, these are the things your man could very likely be telling other people behind your back. If he, his friends, and people online told me, an American, these things, just imagine the things he’s saying to his friends and family in his native language right in front of you knowing you don’t know a word of Arabic. In the recording I previously mentioned he said “hello, I married a fat woman as big as a continent. I’ve been here for ten years. Make sure you learn English first so these mother f*ckers are convinced (Americans). In the list below, these are the things himself, his friends, and people online said to me at different times the following....

1. He married her because prophet Mohammed married a much older woman and it’s honorable in Islam, especially if he can convert her

2. He became atheist after moving here due to his bad experience with her

3. It’s normal for Moroccan men to sleep around with tourists from American and European tourists since they are “fair game” (meaning they think we are trash and equate us to prostitutes)

4. All Moroccan men want a virgin Moroccan woman but if they don’t have anything to offer as far as money and education, it is very hard to get her parents to accept their proposal and that most of their marriages are arranged between their parents and his, so he will turn to foreign women since they are “easy” and have money of their own so they don’t need to worry about paying a mahr or getting the approval of her parents. In other words, they marry us as a last resort.

5. It is unacceptable and embarrassing to their family if they marry a much older, a non virgin, or divorced Moroccan woman because they are seen as damaged goods.

6. They will often target vulnerable foreign women such as women who are bitter about past relationships, divorced, overweight, lonely, older, not attractive, or even sometimes younger attractive women who are also damaged or vulnerable in some way

7. They want to escape their country so bad due to lack of employment, education, or estrangement from families that have disowned them for some reason

8. They have a community mentality vs an individual one unlike Americans so gifts or money sent to them will go to benefit the entire family

9. They will often choose older women and stay with them in hopes of inheriting money or any assets after their wife dies in hopes of using this to benefit their families or even a younger virgin Moroccan wife

10. Their family and friends are in on it a lot of times. This is because a marriage with an American can benefit all of them. Once they are US citizens, they can petition to bring their parents and siblings over. In the meantime, the family will receive money and gifts from America. I saw him set his friend up with a young, naive American girl because he was here illegally on an expired tourist visa. It didn’t work though because her father called ICE and reported it so he was arrested and deported despite the fact she married him. Bottom line, they will seduce American women in order to recruit them as potential wives for their friends and brothers back home to get them to America. I saw two tactics used. The first once is to hook up with you and tell you they need you to help bring their brother to America through marriage but you don’t have to actually be with them and can divorce them after two years. If you do this for them, they will love you forever and marry you after the divorce of the fake marriage. The other one I saw was the girl that married the illegal guy genuinely fell in love with him and she fought hard for him when he was arrested and when he was deported. She hates her father for seeing right though this and reporting it and she is now estranged from her entire family.

11. They often work in airports, hotels, and other touristy areas to find foreign women or use social media to contact women. They will even join language learning apps and websites under the guise of “learning English.” Be especially aware of the ones who have mastered the English language. I can’t tell you how many messages and marriage proposals I got while trying to learn some Moroccan darija. I found that the ones who knew perfect English and knew a lot about American culture were the worst, yet had no jobs, little education and lived with their parents. One asked for nudes so I sent him fake ones from off google just to see what he would do then he tried to blackmail me by threatening to send them to family and friends unless I sent money. They find out who they are by studying your Facebook or social media profiles. Luckily they were clearly not mine so I wasn’t worried but just imagine if they were or if they recorded you performing sex acts on the camera.

12. They will have you meet them in their country, make you feel like a queen, propose marriage, get you to pay for everything, and then when you go back, they may have another girl flying in to see them and do the same thing

13. The one I’ve heard the most is they hate Moroccan women because they are “gold diggers.” In Islam, the man pays for everything! Even if his wife has a job. Supporting their families is a huge source of pride. Taking money from women is shameful

14. Age is just a number and they do not want children. Maybe some don’t but children are very important in sealing the marriage in their culture. It’s shameful to not produce children if you are married

15. They have renounced their religion but have to keep it a secret from the family. This is for the women that don’t approve of Islam. I believe this is ok according to the Koran to lie about this in order to gain something but I’m not 100% sure

16. I even talked to one online through the language learning app that was very good looking, highly educated and just graduated from pharmacy school but was interested in me, someone with no college education. He said he wants to come to America because pharmacists make way more money. Luckily I knew that he’d be “marrying down” if he married me when he could get a woman with similar education from his own country so I figured he would marry me, come here, divorce me, and petition to bring his real fiancé over here and they’d live happily even after while I’m left emotionally and financially crushed.

The bottom line is if they talk so badly about non virgin, divorced, older and single Moroccan women, what makes us any better? Why are they willing to make that exception for us? They call their own women whores for minor things like going into a bar, walking in public with a guy they are not married to, or working late at night at regular job or even smoking a cigarette in public but yet it’s ok that we do this? I can only speak from my experience, but this makes me terrified to even risk this. It’s a shame because I have talked to genuine Moroccans online and even they are embarrassed by this behavior. There’s good and bad everywhere so please look at the situation realistically and look for actions not words!