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Rat or not?

Tigerpants

Major Ratslayer
This is very suspicious. They have no bearings on his passport and his dad cannot take it away.

If it expired, then it was up to him to renew it as the expiration date approached. Even if his dad does not help him, with him having a EU passport, he can basically fly in and out of Europe as he pleases.

There are plenty of job sites he can access to find a job with how educated he seems to be and he has a passport.

Something is wrong here. Be careful.
Hey @Georgia ,I agree with @Gamora , so essentially in a nutshell, he is claiming to be free to travel due to his citizenship link to a wealthy European country so as he claims this is the case ( and knowing from personal experience what I know), I would step back and allow him to visit me in my country before putting a toe in Tunisia.
Red flags for me include ;-
He is close to marrying age
Irrespective of his freedom to travel claim he has still got you to agree to travel to him in Tunisia- why?
He's a secret aethiest - whatever that may be???
He's 28 therefore he is more than capable of booking a ticket and travelling to the country you live.If he can make a hotel recommendation and suggested reservation from you he should be sorting his travel out (not yours).

Sorry but I have alarm bells, if he wants to live in your country and claims he has the ability to travel then I say go for it, on his terms and under all his own arrangements NOT YOURS.
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
He has same pattern as my ex rat. He said he had family in Europe, wanted me to go to Tunisia. When I told him it was easier for me to visit him in Europe he made excuses that he was not in contact with them... he wanted to recommend where I should stay in Tunisia. Had multiple accounts that seemed old but I could find some friends on those accounts that were evident rats and ex girlfriends, all foreigners. He has foreigner friends since many years ago, just like your friendship and he is currently dragging one girl into relationship. To her he is all innocent but he has been blackmailing his foreign ex girlfriends and has dated women on their 70’s he asks always for help from the people that decided to add him as contact on social media.... I find too much similarities between your Habibi and mine.
 

Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
One thing also, as he claims he wants to join your country, I am not saying he has no feelings for you but, on one hand, if he doesn’t know anyone in your country, he is expecting you to ‘import’ him.
If you are independent with a good job, able to pay your bills and rent, he will want to be accommodated and cared by you until he gets to his real point.
having a European passport is fine but being documented and homeless in Europe is still a struggle. Keep that in mind.
 

Lass

Major Ratslayer
One thing also, as he claims he wants to join your country, I am not saying he has no feelings for you but, on one hand, if he doesn’t know anyone in your country, he is expecting you to ‘import’ him.
If you are independent with a good job, able to pay your bills and rent, he will want to be accommodated and cared by you until he gets to his real point.
having a European passport is fine but being documented and homeless in Europe is still a struggle. Keep that in mind.
Excellent point @Bubbly well said.
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Hi , I’m new to this forum and would very much appreciate your advice on my situation.
Sorry for the long story. Hope this is the right place to post it.

A few years ago I met a Tunisian guy in a college chat room when I was bored and we had fun talking. We just stayed friends for about 4 years, never talked about more than that or indicated anything more than friendship. We lost contact for about a year due to busy lives and recently we started talking again. This time our contact became more and more romantic. He says I am the girl of his dreams and that he loves me. Calls me his princess and is basically perfect (I know, alert alert for the red flags). He does complain sometimes about his situation there (bad salary, not many jobs available and he wants to own a business). I am a bit wary because of all the stories I read on this forum, but he says he doesn’t want to be a couple now because we never met in person (I absolutely agree). I will visit him in a few months - I made all arrangements myself and he didn’t try making them for me, although he told me “you can contact him and him and can stay at Hotel X if you like. My friend works there so you’ll be safe.” I didn’t follow that advice and he never said a word about it after I made arrangements.

His background: master’s degree, fairly good job for a Tunisian (economic affairs, so not in tourism or work with tourists), has visited Europe and traveled as a tourist here, and holds the citizenship of a (wealthy) European country through his father. He is a self-declared atheist (in secret though...). He’s never asked anything from me in material terms, but he does want to move to Europe. He’s asked my help for information because he doesn’t know how to begin moving here. I understand this. He does not need a visa from me because he already has a EU-country passport. He wants to try living in my country (also EU) to see how things work out between us. He wants to learn my language.
I like him a lot, but I wonder: do you see anything I might have missed due to my love induced view on him? Am I being ratted, any signs I missed?

I am 27 and he’s 28.

thank you so much
Welcome @Georgia , ahhh and started so lovely however why contact you after a year and getting romantic. .? Tell him if he wants to come to live with you in Europe then marriage will have to be but he makes his way to you, he’s the man and you’re the woman!! Tell him you’re old fashion? Test him and follow that lead to see where it ends up!! If a man really wants you he will follow to the end of the world if necessary, do not make it easy for him.... let him suffer for a bit... MEN DON’T LIKE women who are easy, they’re HUNTERS!! So let him pursue you and if he gives up... he’s not the right guy for you and move on with your life you’re still young.. good luck
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
Georgia, if you are still planning to go test him out and make no mention of bezness. It will be your first meeting so he will try to be on his best behaviour but usually rats slip one way or another and you will know.
Yes indeed @Storm , test and test, (lovingly of course) without him realising, you need to be cunning @Georgia , but if he is a rat this is the time to find out, the earlier the better, but still be careful with your heart don’t open it to anyone until you’re absolutely sure and this guy has passed ALL the tests ;)
 

Plymouthgirl

Inactive
Hello @Georgia!! Welcome to the forum.

I won't call your friend a rat just yet, but a few red flags I think you need to look at before catching hard feelings for him.

1. The fact that he tells you he loves you so early on in the relationship is telling. He has already started to lovebomb you. Be careful with that.

2. The fact that he does not want to be a couple now, but says he loves you is manipulation to try and get you to think otherwise. Why tell you he loves you but does not want to commit. That is a red flag for sure. He purposely wants you to think he is different.

3. If he already has a EU passport, then he should not need your help to move there. He should be familiar with the process. That is suspicious. Can you elaborate a bit more on how he has a EU passport, but needs help moving there?? With a EU passport, this means he has already established some form of residency. They just don't hand those out. Something is amiss here. Hmmm. :confused: This one is interesting. He can literally hop on a flight tomorrow to said country he has the passport in with no problems. Perhaps we need more info on this.

I would be very cautious of him for now. If he truly loves you, then challenge him to make his way to your country on his own, without the help from you. You should not have any ties to him at all in terms of helping him migrate to your country. A good Tunisian man does this on his own, even if it takes years. They do it the right way, they do not phish for victims for help.

While I won't call him a rat just YET, I would encourage you to be cautious and keep reading stories here. There are plenty of educated rats (mine was highly educated and smart), but their goal is a visa. They leave their victim once in country and visa secured.

Perhaps the other women can help with anything I miss.

We are happy you are here :)

He’s a Rat...............100%...............
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
Hey @Georgia ,I agree with @Gamora , so essentially in a nutshell, he is claiming to be free to travel due to his citizenship link to a wealthy European country so as he claims this is the case ( and knowing from personal experience what I know), I would step back and allow him to visit me in my country before putting a toe in Tunisia.
Red flags for me include ;-
He is close to marrying age
Irrespective of his freedom to travel claim he has still got you to agree to travel to him in Tunisia- why?
He's a secret aethiest - whatever that may be???
He's 28 therefore he is more than capable of booking a ticket and travelling to the country you live.If he can make a hotel recommendation and suggested reservation from you he should be sorting his travel out (not yours).

Sorry but I have alarm bells, if he wants to live in your country and claims he has the ability to travel then I say go for it, on his terms and under all his own arrangements NOT YOURS.
He’s a Rat...............100%...............
I agree Plymouthgirl!
 

Gamora

Major Ratslayer
He’s a Rat...............100%...............

Yes, I believe he is a rat, but I was trying to rule it out before saying it, but the more I read, the more the red flags are there from him.

He is a rat for sure. He is already lying.

Also, there is no way in hell he would have a EU passport and not be in Europe somewhere. He would not be sitting in Tunisia complaining, especially with how educated he is. NO WAY!! That does not make sense. He is educated, speaks eloquently, has a job, has a EU passport, but still in Tunisia. Hmmm.

That passport alone means he has established residency (whether by birth, family or marriage, etc.) and have some leverage there to be able to make a living in Europe. Even their wait staff make living wages to be able to sustain a living. Its not hard. In order for him to have a EU passport, he knows exactly how to move there or live there. These are things you have to know. How does he have a passport from a EU country, but needs help moving there? He can get a flight at this moment and move there with a passport. He is lying about something. Something is fishy and does not add up here. I smell a rat for sure.

Unless his passport expired and he can show proof that it is, then he lying. Even then, if the passport is expired, you can actually stay in country and get an extension. He does not need dad or any family to renew a passport unless he is underage, but he is in his 20s. Yep, he lying.
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
The thing I’m not getting is, how can he have no time to travel to her country to see her but has free time if she comes to Tunisia?.. would be interesting also to know if he is helping finance her trip. I hope for Georgia’s sake he is genuine but it all sounds a bit odd
 

JGG

Major Ratslayer
Hi , I’m new to this forum and would very much appreciate your advice on my situation.
Sorry for the long story. Hope this is the right place to post it.

A few years ago I met a Tunisian guy in a college chat room when I was bored and we had fun talking. We just stayed friends for about 4 years, never talked about more than that or indicated anything more than friendship. We lost contact for about a year due to busy lives and recently we started talking again. This time our contact became more and more romantic. He says I am the girl of his dreams and that he loves me. Calls me his princess and is basically perfect (I know, alert alert for the red flags). He does complain sometimes about his situation there (bad salary, not many jobs available and he wants to own a business). I am a bit wary because of all the stories I read on this forum, but he says he doesn’t want to be a couple now because we never met in person (I absolutely agree). I will visit him in a few months - I made all arrangements myself and he didn’t try making them for me, although he told me “you can contact him and him and can stay at Hotel X if you like. My friend works there so you’ll be safe.” I didn’t follow that advice and he never said a word about it after I made arrangements.

His background: master’s degree, fairly good job for a Tunisian (economic affairs, so not in tourism or work with tourists), has visited Europe and traveled as a tourist here, and holds the citizenship of a (wealthy) European country through his father. He is a self-declared atheist (in secret though...). He’s never asked anything from me in material terms, but he does want to move to Europe. He’s asked my help for information because he doesn’t know how to begin moving here. I understand this. He does not need a visa from me because he already has a EU-country passport. He wants to try living in my country (also EU) to see how things work out between us. He wants to learn my language.
I like him a lot, but I wonder: do you see anything I might have missed due to my love induced view on him? Am I being ratted, any signs I missed?

I am 27 and he’s 28.

thank you so much
Be very very careful....so many red flags with your story....please don't get tricked into the whole "my Tunisian is different" and I think he is lying about his EU visa....ask him to see it....simple
 

Georgia

Well-Known Member
Thank you all so much for you answers :)

I think I just want to meet him here in EU. He is already withdrawing in all communication lol, I think that is emotional blackmail now that he has me where he wants me (traveling to him and thus emotionally invested in him). I expect another lovebomb episode in the coming week... I just don’t trust it

you’re all great women, thanks a heap ladies!
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
Thank you all so much for you answers :)

I think I just want to meet him here in EU. He is already withdrawing in all communication lol, I think that is emotional blackmail now that he has me where he wants me (traveling to him and thus emotionally invested in him). I expect another lovebomb episode in the coming week... I just don’t trust it

you’re all great women, thanks a heap ladies!
Hi Georgia that is another tactic (gaslighting) what he is doing now he expects you to reach out to him because he thinks you will miss him and that you are worried where he is. Sure he will love bomb you but don't fall for it plse. As another lady here said maybe his visa for europ soon expires and he wants you to help him. Glad you don't meet him in tunisia just wait more as he will show his true face soon as he realise you don't fall for his charms xx
 

Georgia

Well-Known Member
Hi Georgia that is another tactic what he is doing now he expects you to reach out to him because he thinks you will miss him and that you are worried where he is. Sure he will love bomb you but don't fall for it plse. As another lady here said maybe his visa for europ soon expires and he wants you to help him. Glad you don't meet him in tunisia just wait more as he will show his true face soon as he realise you don't fall for his charms xx

hi, yes I think that too. He is testing me but fine, he can bring on his game. I am curious for his next move. He will come back anyway. Thanks hun, you really helped me with all you told me :)
 

Mica

Administrator
Staff member
Georgia, if you are still planning to go test him out and make no mention of bezness.

@Georgia Absolutely take note of this. Do NOT discuss bezness with him, if he knows that you know about it he will change his tactics completely and make sure that he doesnt expose any red flags. It will just extend the process and make it much more difficult for you to work out if he is a rat or not
 

Georgia

Well-Known Member
@Georgia Absolutely take note of this. Do NOT discuss bezness with him, if he knows that you know about it he will change his tactics completely and make sure that he doesnt expose any red flags. It will just extend the process and make it much more difficult for you to work out if he is a rat or not

yes you are completely right.. thank you.

I have canceled my trip to Tunisia. He can prove his love for me first. I am becoming more wary by the minute.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
This coming from a wealthey family..is getting more and more common,,, ....And i dont see why he cant visit you ,if he claims he has a dual passport ...Its the correct thing to do ,if he is serious .He needs to introduce himself to your family ,before he can ask to live with you ,Old fashioned i know ,,but this is how they show respect to you and your family.And as for being an athiest ,,arent they all saying that to foreigners !! No way can he keep his beliefs secret from his family ,,He will still have to pray ,if he lives with his family ..If he dosnt ,then his father will want to know why he dosnt go to the mosque ..
 

Mica

Administrator
Staff member
Unless his passport expired and he can show proof that it is, then he lying. Even then, if the passport is expired, you can actually stay in country and get an extension. He does not need dad or any family to renew a passport unless he is underage, but he is in his 20s. Yep, he lying.

If he has a European passport than he has dual nationality, he is a Tunisian citizen AND a European citizen. When one of his passports expires he just applies for a new one the same as anyone. Unless he means a Visa in which case it can expire and he can apply for an extension.
 

Gamora

Major Ratslayer
yes you are completely right.. thank you.

I have canceled my trip to Tunisia. He can prove his love for me first. I am becoming more wary by the minute.

Trust you instincts. They will never lead you wrong. Just like you said, challenge him to prove he is not a rat. Make him do like any good Tunisian man or woman would do. Apply for their own visa, get his own job, own place and pave his own way to Europe without your help at all. There are plenty of good Tunisian men and women who go through the proper channels and do the right thing. They don't use victims to get to the next country, even if it takes them years to secure a visa. This is the right way to do it. A rat wants to meet you on Monday, marry you on Friday and apply for a visa right after the marriage. Tunisian men and women do date, and one of the tell tell signs that you have yourself a rat is that they start love bombing immediately and planting seeds to get you hooked. A good Tunisian man will stick to his cultural norms and treat you like the woman you are. He will be the man and do everything that needs to be done to prepare a future for his wife. Not a rat, they need you to make that life happen.

I believe he is a rat fair and square...... the love bombing and manipulation is about to start now that you have cancelled your trip. He is not going to like that and will try all he can to get you to come. He is going to have a sob story and place all blame on you for not coming. Be prepared because this is the hardest stage, because it is easy for us to feel sorry for them. They have way to make you feel like you are to blame for everything in their lives.
 

Georgia

Well-Known Member
Hi Georgia that is another tactic (gaslighting) what he is doing now he expects you to reach out to him because he thinks you will miss him and that you are worried where he is. Sure he will love bomb you but don't fall for it plse. As another lady here said maybe his visa for europ soon expires and he wants you to help him. Glad you don't meet him in tunisia just wait more as he will show his true face soon as he realise you don't fall for his charms xx

lol I didn’t Reach out to him in six days..... I refused, and he has resurfaced just now. Instant Lovebomb. Lol as if I don’t have Anything better to do than to miss a guy

Anyone any ideas for tests I can Use to see if he’s a rat? Thanks :)
 

Tinker-lulu

Major Ratslayer
lol I didn’t Reach out to him in six days..... I refused, and he has resurfaced just now. Instant Lovebomb. Lol as if I don’t have Anything better to do than to miss a guy

Anyone any ideas for tests I can Use to see if he’s a rat? Thanks :)
Hey @Georgia , my personal experience when I decided to test my rat was to ask 5 of my friends (women of course) to send him requests, on fb and insta and whatever he was socialising on the net, also I asked them to write interest notes to him, he responded a few and also love bombing them, they started making plans for the future and gave him personal information (lies of course) , to cut a long story short he fell for it, Game Over... they deleted him and I was able to make my decision that this GUY was a RAT , you need friends you can trust and get together on this plan, this was mine but other ladies here will tell you more. Good luck ;) ;)
 

ButterflyBee

Major Ratslayer
lol I didn’t Reach out to him in six days..... I refused, and he has resurfaced just now. Instant Lovebomb. Lol as if I don’t have Anything better to do than to miss a guy

Anyone any ideas for tests I can Use to see if he’s a rat? Thanks :)
Hi Georgia, was wondering how you were doing :)
Tell him you’d love to see him but can’t afford it, suggest he pays to meet you somewhere else, if he’s a rat he won’t be dipping into his pocket. This is one way however I think sometimes it takes a while for the true colours to show.. but it seems he’s already showing them with the love bombing and wanting your help to move to Europe..
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Hey @Georgia , my personal experience when I decided to test my rat was to ask 5 of my friends (women of course) to send him requests, on fb and insta and whatever he was socialising on the net, also I asked them to write interest notes to him, he responded a few and also love bombing them, they started making plans for the future and gave him personal information (lies of course) , to cut a long story short he fell for it, Game Over... they deleted him and I was able to make my decision that this GUY was a RAT , you need friends you can trust and get together on this plan, this was mine but other ladies here will tell you more. Good luck ;) ;)
@Georgia

Personally I wouldn't try the honey trap appproach as most are not silly enough to fall for it thus lulling you into a false sense of security. The fact you met online, his insistence you go to Tunisia at your expense - asking you to help him find work etc.... All red flags and very suspicious.

MH x
 

Wiser

Major Ratslayer
Once he knows you won’t travel to Tunisia (insert here a reason, like your family needs you) but you are willing to see him in your country, he will throw a reaction. ( playing depressed, threatening to commit suicide, crying like a child or angry ) just ask him to travel to visit you.
 

Butterflies

Major Ratslayer
lol I didn’t Reach out to him in six days..... I refused, and he has resurfaced just now. Instant Lovebomb. Lol as if I don’t have Anything better to do than to miss a guy

Anyone any ideas for tests I can Use to see if he’s a rat? Thanks :)
I wouldn't test him full stop. Buy rat poison for the next rat that contacts you. The friends of the rat I met online are in my messenger daily telling me how young I look for my age?? But it is up to you i don't enternain men online as I find it boring. It is your choice but plse be careful they play heart games with you and you will not be winning xx
 
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Bubbly

Major Ratslayer
Yeah I also think testing is a waste of time, honey traps can fail miserably. As long as you don’t feel comfy with him and can’t trust him, I consider it as an answer to your question. Rat or not we can’t live a relationship based on doubts. I tried it and it was a disaster.
 

Poppy

Major Ratslayer
Another advise I would give : do not send him any "intimate" photos or videos of you, even if he keeps asking. Many rats are using such photos to harass and blackmail their victims (If you don't do this, I will send all your photos to your family etc). Keep your purse closed and be very observant.
 
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