Real or rat?

Discussion in 'Ben's Corner' started by Swedegirl03, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    After reading so many comments on here, I just had to get an advice from you all.
    I met this guy on an app on Fb, and we started talking. He's younger than me(!) so that's a hinder no matter what. But he's mature, he's got a job, he works long hours, he's conciderate, he's funny... He likes me, and it's embarassing to say that within the first week I relly liked him too. We talk almost everyday online, but he's busy, so there's no lovebombing or naging about this and that....Yes, he has asked if I think we have a future, but nothing else. He only says he likes me, love is too early
    ( so I guess that's a good thing. Or if I'm paranoid, he's a great rat who's smarter than other rats)
    We've agreed on being friends (with benefits) and see where things lead.
    He hasn't asked or even hinted about moving here ( Scandinavia) or me moving there...
    He's a muslim, but only 27, and live in the capital so it sounds like he's more modern. He respects ramadan and doesn't drink during that month. He also says no skype, in case we wouldn't be able to just talk - we can't even send a kiss in front of the cam since non married people can't do anything sexual during this month. And I totally respect that, I like him, so only talking is no problem and much better when it comes to getting to know eachother. So..... is he an Oscar nominee, or is he a good guy?
    PS His profile is full of pics of friends and family with several houndred friends...
    I like him alot, but I*m not completely blind... everything is perfect on the net ( especially on FB,lol)
     
  2. the nutty professor

    the nutty professor Bad Teacher

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    hi swedegirl and welcome

    I'm not really sure what kind of relationship/friendship you have with him as you make no mention of meeting in person.
    as for stating that you will be friends with benefits, how does that work?. are you engaging in webcam sex, please be careful as he might not be the only one watching you.
    or are you offering it on a plate when you do to go Tunisia to meet him?
    instantly he has lost all respect for you as this is not how good, decent, long lasting marriage relationships are conducted. you are nothing more than a slut in his eyes if this is what you have offered, not wife material (I apologise for being blunt but these are not my views but those of Tunisian society)

    as for the Skype nonsense see below - Mr Nutty kisses me goodbye every day and during Ramadan the kisses are affectionate, not sexual (is that tmi?)

    RULES AND REGULATIONS FOR FASTING
    Fasting in the month of Ramadan is compulsory on every Muslim adult. The Arabic word sawm is used for fasting. The word sawm (plural siyam) literally means 'to refrain', but as an Islamic term, it means refraining from food, drinks and sexual activity from dawn to sunset. Allah says in the Quran, in Surah Al-Baqarah (2-183):

    he is taking advantage of your lack of knowledge and understanding of Tunisian culture, religion and society, has you despaerately dangling on his hook and will reel you in good and proper.
     
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  3. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    I've never been to Tunisia.
    Sadly, I have done it once on cam. I made sure he was alone.
    I know it was a stupid thing to do, at the time I didn't think it through. He probably does think that about me now, but never shows it.
    The skype thing; he just said as long as people arent' married etc.
    For all I know he can have sex there now... I have other muslim friends, and I know there's ways for the muslim girls to have sex and still be "virgins", I*m sure you know what I mean. He also said that's how he has sex with girls there (and it's a common knowledge anyway).
    As I mentioned, I'm not t h a t blind in this... I'm older than him, so I don't see a future anyway, but for now we're "friends"... He can still be a good guy then? Only I*m the bad one here?...
     
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  4. Laurence

    Laurence Well-Known Member

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    Drop that man Swedegirl, he'll never respect you, he found you (as he surely found others) on the internet to have some sex fun and maybe he'll sell the video he made of you for good money (that's what they also do), so stop conversations that will lead nowhere but misery and disappointment...
    He probably doesn't want to Skype as he doesn't speak English, for writing he has a friend at hand to help him out, that's what they do as well.
    His islamic blahblah is mere bullshit. He's bad news and you've been way too naive.
     
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  5. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    He speaks english, and writes it...but could be better sometimes....
    But you're right, I've been too naive. Just crossing my fingers about the cam now:-S
    Thanks, I know what to do now!
     
  6. casey

    casey Active Member

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    yuk!!
     
  7. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Oh no, definitely not
     
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  8. casey

    casey Active Member

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    why if you meet a tunisien man on fb or whatever, why do they start speaking about sex straightaway?? its so disrepectful, they must think all european woman are all whores!
     
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  9. Laurence

    Laurence Well-Known Member

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    That's exactly what they think about european women Casey!
     
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  10. Should have know better

    Should have know better Active Member

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    How can they think all European women are whores when they are selling themselves to these women?
     
  11. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    I*m not proud of what I did...confirming the look they have on european women....my only defence is that I was in a bad place, with really low selfesteem... and of course that was picked up quickly. I'm not "easy", I've been in a sexless realtionship for years and not cheated once.
    But FYI it's not just tunisian men that start off with sexchat instantly... try turks, english, danish... whatever nationality...it's men in general... Some wrap it in well, others are so "porn" in what they write that it's sickening.
    But again, I know what to do now... better to stay away from men in general for a while, I think... Build myself up, putting m e first.
     
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  12. wallah

    wallah Well-Known Member

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    But as laurence says, sadly, they do SHKB --- and to make matters worse - you are not a muslim either!!!!!!! Let us be truthful here, if you knew that your sister/neighbour/ work mate, masterbated etc on a webcam to entertain someone that she hadn't met, what would you really think about them?. People who know me will say that I am the least judgmental person that they know, but -------------------------------------- whilst saying that if they wanted to do that it was their business, I would find it very difficult to accept that that was ok.
    Should point out, that I'm not trying to make you feel bad Swede girl, just pointing out why we are classed as whores by many
     
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  13. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    Men can do whatever they want, remember? " I can have sex with how many women I want, but she will not speak to men and cover herself up. There's no such thing as a pure friendship, (especially) men always have sexual urges, so my woman is not allowed to talk to other men" Quote from a muslim friend of mine.
     
  14. casey

    casey Active Member

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    me too. swedegirl03.
     
  15. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    Yeah, we can do it, Casey :)
     
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  16. casey

    casey Active Member

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    i thought my rat really loved me, what a fool i was!!! xx
     
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  17. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    Well, in the end it's me that made myself feel bad... I didn't think it through, and since he did the same..... Well, we live we learn....
     
  18. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    Hey, we're women... it's our "thing"... like I said about my relationship; being in that situation, made me feel low, unattractive.... Easy target xx
     
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  19. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    I also do not think it depends on the nationality of men but on their upbringing and level of education
     
  20. casey

    casey Active Member

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    i know. swedegirl03, they are nasty men! he stole my heart, everything! i believed everything he said to me, he said to me,delete all your facebook friends and i will too, so its just me and you,,then i found out he had more facebooks in other names with hundreds of women! and some of the filth he had written to them!!!! omg,it proper broke my heart!!! xx x
     
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  21. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    Sometimes the nationality, sometimes the upbringing and level of education in my experience....
     
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  22. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    Good for you that you found out about the other FB accounts! Before it was too late! Even though our (women) hearts break easily, we're also strong when we need to! And now we've learned, and hopefully won't ever do the same mistake again! :) We can be strong, and not take any bullshit or be gullible next time, no matter what nationality the men have! :) xx
    Btw; I have no idea how to do that, find other accounts with other names...I read earlier on this site that one can block some of their friends from you, I didn't know that was possible either...
     
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  23. casey

    casey Active Member

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    yes they can hide their friends from you, how i found his other fbs was,friends he had blocked on [our facebook] i looked on their face books and found he had made other fbs and had added them again to those! when i confronted him, he said,no its not me and they my friends fbs, not me!! BLOODY LIAR!!!,
     
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  24. Swedegirl03

    Swedegirl03 New Member

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    He's a complete wanker:-S But again, so good that you found out and followed your instincts that something wasn't right :)
     
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  25. casey

    casey Active Member

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    yes, they really think every woman wants them so much, when you think of muslims i think they are really good people, he used to say to me,i swear to my allah, i tell you all the truth!!!
     
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