Receiving money

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
Well mine also said many things like that but then once he got here even when i told him to leave he did not ..he waited till the term of my responsibility for him ended. Now i dont know if they will ever kick him out.
The term of responsibility ends with Domestic Violence which now includes Coercive control the Law in UK.
You say that if he doesn’t work, he’ll be in the next flight back home. You really think he’ll take the plane and go home? When he makes it to your country, if he makes it, he will not go back home and you won’t be able to do anything about it.
Well Ok. You're right. He will try and find work though or use my contacts as he likes the finer things in life and my sponsorship does not include the fancy car. He wants to spoil me too he says, but being faithful and honest is all I want really. Material things don't matter to me. There is a huge problem with the economy now since Lockdown so if he's content to live on my budget until things get better then fine. I was angry with him when I said hed be on the next flight home. I did not mean to sound so harsh.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
They all say that they’ll work once they are in the woman’s country. If they work, they keep the money and still expect the woman to pay everything. Then, of course, they don’t leave when they are asked to. They are the ones who decide when they leave. They are nothing but takers. They take everything they can while they can.
Yes I'm sure that's the mentality as they feel entitled but they have to change or leave because nothing lasts forever. There is plenty a victim of financial abuse can do. It falls under coercive control laws. But if she let's her heart rule her head then she puts up with his bad behaviour until she has had enough. This tolerance level varies according to the individual. Of course all are hoping, including me a happy ever after. And given the chance I want to see what mine can do in future. I am working on myself meanwhile as it takes two to make a relationship work and I'm not being nice to him accusing him of secret girlfriends and what he says the cost of things are in Tunisia to reality but he uses exchange rates and swears he has no other. So time will tell. I don't like the woman in the mirror that I'm portraying to him, jealous, suspicious but I still prefer hard evidence and I don't sleep nights and I know it's hard for me because of anxiety issues in the main. Which I've had since a child. I'm aware I don't fit in. My teacher once said No man is an Island and i should reach out. I reached out to TLR and in the main thankfully decent advice. I’m using this to try to improve matters because I want our relationship to work and I feel he does too. He has to unlearn things he learnt from his peer group growing up. I’m still to write the positive and negative list Liona once suggested in a previous post. Sound advice from you too. Please forgive me if I don’t want to let go. I think he’s young enough to change and I’ve seen some changes. I’m not the victim (no more) and I’m not his teacher but I do feel the need to instil some ethics. I’m not a saint. I’m sure the foreign women they marry are a culture shock. They are used to obedient family members. Tunisia is changing with Women’s rights to the forefront. They work, they drive, they socialise where they can. I like that they are sweet and traditional too but somewhere there has to be a balance and that’s what I want for our marriage. I have both east and west values so Im willing to change some aspects myself like play a more traditional role and learn to cook (yes I barely can) but retain my Christian values and respect his religion.
 

tutusandfrogs

Major Ratslayer
Yes I'm sure that's the mentality as they feel entitled but they have to change or leave because nothing lasts forever. There is plenty a victim of financial abuse can do. It falls under coercive control laws. But if she let's her heart rule her head then she puts up with his bad behaviour until she has had enough. This tolerance level varies according to the individual. Of course all are hoping, including me a happy ever after. And given the chance I want to see what mine can do in future. I am working on myself meanwhile as it takes two to make a relationship work and I'm not being nice to him accusing him of secret girlfriends and what he says the cost of things are in Tunisia to reality but he uses exchange rates and swears he has no other. So time will tell. I don't like the woman in the mirror that I'm portraying to him, jealous, suspicious but I still prefer hard evidence and I don't sleep nights and I know it's hard for me because of anxiety issues in the main. Which I've had since a child. I'm aware I don't fit in. My teacher once said No man is an Island and i should reach out. I reached out to TLR and in the main thankfully decent advice. I’m using this to try to improve matters because I want our relationship to work and I feel he does too. He has to unlearn things he learnt from his peer group growing up. I’m still to write the positive and negative list Liona once suggested in a previous post. Sound advice from you too. Please forgive me if I don’t want to let go. I think he’s young enough to change and I’ve seen some changes. I’m not the victim (no more) and I’m not his teacher but I do feel the need to instil some ethics. I’m not a saint. I’m sure the foreign women they marry are a culture shock. They are used to obedient family members. Tunisia is changing with Women’s rights to the forefront. They work, they drive, they socialise where they can. I like that they are sweet and traditional too but somewhere there has to be a balance and that’s what I want for our marriage. I have both east and west values so Im willing to change some aspects myself like play a more traditional role and learn to cook (yes I barely can) but retain my Christian values and respect his religion.
I think a difference of religion really complicates matters especially if one is a practicing muslim. There are things that I accept from my husband for the reason we are both Muslim than I wouldn't expect other women to find acceptable such as not having close male friends for example, not allowing me to pay for something, wearing long enough tunics to cover my rear end... But, traditional doesn't mean he can't help you cook and clean. My husband is a wonderful cook. :)
 

Jane

Major Ratslayer
Yes I'm sure that's the mentality as they feel entitled but they have to change or leave because nothing lasts forever. There is plenty a victim of financial abuse can do. It falls under coercive control laws. But if she let's her heart rule her head then she puts up with his bad behaviour until she has had enough. This tolerance level varies according to the individual. Of course all are hoping, including me a happy ever after. And given the chance I want to see what mine can do in future. I am working on myself meanwhile as it takes two to make a relationship work and I'm not being nice to him accusing him of secret girlfriends and what he says the cost of things are in Tunisia to reality but he uses exchange rates and swears he has no other. So time will tell. I don't like the woman in the mirror that I'm portraying to him, jealous, suspicious but I still prefer hard evidence and I don't sleep nights and I know it's hard for me because of anxiety issues in the main. Which I've had since a child. I'm aware I don't fit in. My teacher once said No man is an Island and i should reach out. I reached out to TLR and in the main thankfully decent advice. I’m using this to try to improve matters because I want our relationship to work and I feel he does too. He has to unlearn things he learnt from his peer group growing up. I’m still to write the positive and negative list Liona once suggested in a previous post. Sound advice from you too. Please forgive me if I don’t want to let go. I think he’s young enough to change and I’ve seen some changes. I’m not the victim (no more) and I’m not his teacher but I do feel the need to instil some ethics. I’m not a saint. I’m sure the foreign women they marry are a culture shock. They are used to obedient family members. Tunisia is changing with Women’s rights to the forefront. They work, they drive, they socialise where they can. I like that they are sweet and traditional too but somewhere there has to be a balance and that’s what I want for our marriage. I have both east and west values so Im willing to change some aspects myself like play a more traditional role and learn to cook (yes I barely can) but retain my Christian values and respect his religion.
Pussycats I know I seem harsh but again I would ask you to question this ( now that you’re analysing the pros and cons ). What does HE get out of this relationship? Put yourself in his shoes . You are saying you expect him to “ unlearn things “ - this is a man of nearly 30 who has spent his entire life and culture in one place - for what ?? In exchange that you learn to cook ?? ( really, at 62 you haven’t learnt to cook yet ?!?)
Please , analyse in cold blood : what are his motives for having to unlearn everything, change the way he is , sacrifice his potential of having a family , children and bla and bla bla . Think outside the box . What are YOU actually offering him ? You will see it’s quite clear it’s the money and visa we are all talking about . Not one thing more .
Someone said something wise to me yesterday :
“You can break your own heart by leaving with a planned exit, or you can wait for the narcissist to break it in a totally unexpected way”
if you leave him first , you still have the chance to walk with your head held high . Your guy has scammer written all over his smug face . I worry about you really
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
I worry too,,for all of puzzycats foibles,,,she dosnt deseve to be hurt..
I’m worried for her too. She sure doesn’t deserve to be hurt. Unfortunately, the pink glasses are still on even though she says they aren’t.
Pussycatz, they’re on because you still can’t see what’s in front of you. Sure, you say a few right things in your comments that show that you do see a few things but then you still maintain that he’ll change and that’s real love he feels for you. You say that you received some sound advice in this forum and you often say that we are right when we tell you some facts, but then you still believe that love will conquer it all. (Zaama) Doesn’t matter he showed you “some ratty ways”-your own words- he loves you and he doesn’t have any ulterior motives. Whatever.
Reread your past posts. You contradict yourself a lot, sometimes in the same sentence. Reading what you said may help you figure yourself out and seeing for yourself that you’re completely in denial when it comes to this bloke. We can’t convince you, so perhaps by reading your own words, you’ll see it. I don’t know..
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
I think a difference of religion really complicates matters especially if one is a practicing muslim. There are things that I accept from my husband for the reason we are both Muslim than I wouldn't expect other women to find acceptable such as not having close male friends for example, not allowing me to pay for something, wearing long enough tunics to cover my rear end... But, traditional doesn't mean he can't help you cook and clean. My husband is a wonderful cook. :)
Where you muslim before you met your husband or did he persuade you to convert? Yes religious differences can complicate matters. However I think there is a lot of hypocrisy in most religious followers in that they pick an choose parts of the religion to follow and ignore others. Religion and Politics are my least favourite topics. My Aunt an ex airhostess married an Iranian Pilot and in those days it was more difficult to marry outside Christianity. My own 1st marriage in a Registry Office to an Atheist former British muslim was never recognised by Catholic Church. Dispensation from a Bishop is required. What really upsets me is that majority Muslims expect their partners to convert to Islam but are shunned and killed in some cases as in the documentaries if they leave their religion
I’m worried for her too. She sure doesn’t deserve to be hurt. Unfortunately, the pink glasses are still on even though she says they aren’t.
Pussycatz, they’re on because you still can’t see what’s in front of you. Sure, you say a few right things in your comments that show that you do see a few things but then you still maintain that he’ll change and that’s real love he feels for you. You say that you received some sound advice in this forum and you often say that we are right when we tell you some facts, but then you still believe that love will conquer it all. (Zaama) Doesn’t matter he showed you “some ratty ways”-your own words- he loves you and he doesn’t have any ulterior motives. Whatever.
Reread your past posts. You contradict yourself a lot, sometimes in the same sentence. Reading what you said may help you figure yourself out and seeing for yourself that you’re completely in denial when it comes to this bloke. We can’t convince you, so perhaps by reading your own words, you’ll see it. I don’t know..
Because to quote a cliche Life isn’t black and white. I’m here to explore the grey areas as most newcomers are looking for answers to their questions or maybe I’m wrong. Imagine a Court case where the Jury is out. That is my position right now. My Fiancé’s actions to date do not justify me leaving him. He hasn’t swindled me out of house and home, he hasn’t beaten me up and he hasn’t hit my credit ratings. What I mean is there’s no hard evidence he’s cheated either. Case dismissed. I think I bared my soul on here and was misunderstood and it’s hard to explain that I do appreciate the advice but the part where some suggest I leave him is non negotiable. l will not abandon my Fiancé through fear alone.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
Pussycats I know I seem harsh but again I would ask you to question this ( now that you’re analysing the pros and cons ). What does HE get out of this relationship? Put yourself in his shoes . You are saying you expect him to “ unlearn things “ - this is a man of nearly 30 who has spent his entire life and culture in one place - for what ?? In exchange that you learn to cook ?? ( really, at 62 you haven’t learnt to cook yet ?!?)
Please , analyse in cold blood : what are his motives for having to unlearn everything, change the way he is , sacrifice his potential of having a family , children and bla and bla bla . Think outside the box . What are YOU actually offering him ? You will see it’s quite clear it’s the money and visa we are all talking about . Not one thing more .
Someone said something wise to me yesterday :
“You can break your own heart by leaving with a planned exit, or you can wait for the narcissist to break it in a totally unexpected way”
if you leave him first , you still have the chance to walk with your head held high . Your guy has scammer written all over his smug face . I worry about you really
Thank you. Yes he is arrogant but in this photo I see softness not smugness. I will ask him the questions you speak as only he can answer for himself. I appreciate your concern but life without him would indeed be worse than with him.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
Thank you. Yes he is arrogant but in this photo I see softness not smugness. I will ask him the questions you speak as only he can answer for himself. I appreciate your concern but life without him would indeed be worse than with him.
what I mean is I’m not going to ruin my chance of happiness because of what may happen. Only God sees the future. I think he’s my destiny.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
I worry too,,for all of puzzycats foibles,,,she dosnt deseve to be hurt..
Don’t worry be happy. Everything’s gonna be alright! Bob Marley. I don’t use weed but when I’m with Zied I’m on a high. He’s highly addictive as was/is many of the Tunisian men portrayed here.
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Where you muslim before you met your husband or did he persuade you to convert? Yes religious differences can complicate matters. However I think there is a lot of hypocrisy in most religious followers in that they pick an choose parts of the religion to follow and ignore others. Religion and Politics are my least favourite topics. My Aunt an ex airhostess married an Iranian Pilot and in those days it was more difficult to marry outside Christianity. My own 1st marriage in a Registry Office to an Atheist former British muslim was never recognised by Catholic Church. Dispensation from a Bishop is required. What really upsets me is that majority Muslims expect their partners to convert to Islam but are shunned and killed in some cases as in the documentaries if they leave their religion

Because to quote a cliche Life isn’t black and white. I’m here to explore the grey areas as most newcomers are looking for answers to their questions or maybe I’m wrong. Imagine a Court case where the Jury is out. That is my position right now. My Fiancé’s actions to date do not justify me leaving him. He hasn’t swindled me out of house and home, he hasn’t beaten me up and he hasn’t hit my credit ratings. What I mean is there’s no hard evidence he’s cheated either. Case dismissed. I think I bared my soul on here and was misunderstood and it’s hard to explain that I do appreciate the advice but the part where some suggest I leave him is non negotiable. l will not abandon my Fiancé through fear alone.
Of course, he didn’t take all your money or and he didn’t beat you up. Why would he do it? He’s still in the stage of convincing you he’s a good guy. That’s later they show their true colors. Your argument of you not having reasons of leaving him because he didn’t beat you up or he didn’t rip you off financially is silly. So are you waiting until he does these things? Of course not but you see what I mean... It’s like only a big drama would need to happen for you to finally see reality as it is. It is what it’ll take so you realize at last what kind of individual he is? I hope it never happens but you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Living with a man who showed you he has very low morals. He’ll change, right? That happens only in movies.
You’re not being reasonable. I’d be more cautious.

You say that you don’t have hard evidence he's a rat therefore you have no reason of leaving him. Blame it on the pink glasses. You need solid, real evidence. What about common sense?
I don’t want to be mean and rude and I know victims tend to get quite defensive when you tell them to get real but we keep telling you these things because we know what’s going on here. This is more than obvious. No need of “tangible proofs”. Do you know how many women before you thought and said the same as you do now? They were all so positive -just like you- that their young lover was the love of their life, that they were smarter and prettier than the other women who got conned. If we tell you that, it’s because it happened to thousands of women before you and you’re no exception. All thought like you did, that they were the exception, that their story was exceptional, that their man was different than others, that their couple would beat the odds..

I saw the couple of pictures of you and him together. Yes, you’re a pretty woman and from your previous posts, you’re confident about your looks. This is a good thing to have confidence. So many women, even the most beautiful ones, can find only flaws when they look at themselves in the mirror. So kuddos to you for being happy with your looks. That being said, even as attractive as you are, you can’t compete with younger women his age. Sorry for being a bit harsh but you can’t kid yourself. Please do not call me ageist. This is reality.

Now him: Sometimes, we can judge a book by its cover and I’m sorry but this guy looks like a complete douche. That’s all there is to it. When I looked at your pictures, I thought : what does this cute lady do with that? You can do much, much better and even better: You could be so much happier with someone else than a guy that leaves you with many doubts and questions. You mentioned you have some anxiety issues at night. Could it be, at least in part, due to the fact you’re torturing yourself emotionally because of this relationship, because you chose to be with a man you can’t fully trust?
I don’t know why you are doing that to yourself. Sorry for being blunt. I’ll stop writing you for a while. You’ve heard enough from me I’m sure. I feel I have been too direct and I don’t like to say things that are hurtful to hear. Didn’t want to be mean but man, how can we get through to you?
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
Of course, he didn’t take all your money or and he didn’t beat you up. Why would he do it? He’s still in the stage of convincing you he’s a good guy. That’s later they show their true colors. Your argument of you not having reasons of leaving him because he didn’t beat you up or he didn’t rip you off financially is silly. So are you waiting until he does these things? Of course not but you see what I mean... It’s like only a big drama would need to happen for you to finally see reality as it is. It is what it’ll take so you realize at last what kind of individual he is? I hope it never happens but you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Living with a man who showed you he has very low morals. He’ll change, right? That happens only in movies.
You’re not being reasonable. I’d be more cautious.

You say that you don’t have hard evidence he's a rat therefore you have no reason of leaving him. Blame it on the pink glasses. You need solid, real evidence. What about common sense?
I don’t want to be mean and rude and I know victims tend to get quite defensive when you tell them to get real but we keep telling you these things because we know what’s going on here. This is more than obvious. No need of “tangible proofs”. Do you know how many women before you thought and said the same as you do now? They were all so positive -just like you- that their young lover was the love of their life, that they were smarter and prettier than the other women who got conned. If we tell you that, it’s because it happened to thousands of women before you and you’re no exception. All thought like you did, that they were the exception, that their story was exceptional, that their man was different than others, that their couple would beat the odds..

I saw the couple of pictures of you and him together. Yes, you’re a pretty woman and from your previous posts, you’re confident about your looks. This is a good thing to have confidence. So many women, even the most beautiful ones, can find only flaws when they look at themselves in the mirror. So kuddos to you for being happy with your looks. That being said, even as attractive as you are, you can’t compete with younger women his age. Sorry for being a bit harsh but you can’t kid yourself. Please do not call me ageist. This is reality.

Now him: Sometimes, we can judge a book by its cover and I’m sorry but this guy looks like a complete douche. That’s all there is to it. When I looked at your pictures, I thought : what does this cute lady do with that? You can do much, much better and even better: You could be so much happier with someone else than a guy that leaves you with many doubts and questions. You mentioned you have some anxiety issues at night. Could it be, at least in part, due to the fact you’re torturing yourself emotionally because of this relationship, because you chose to be with a man you can’t fully trust?
I don’t know why you are doing that to yourself. Sorry for being blunt. I’ll stop writing you for a while. You’ve heard enough from me I’m sure. I feel I have been too direct and I don’t like to say things that are hurtful to hear. Didn’t want to be mean but man, how can we get through to you?
Dear Southern Girl. You are very wise and kind. I thank you for putting in the time and energy to read and reply to my trying to justify his past behaviour. I hope other more astute women can take heed. I'm 3 years and 4 months into this relationship and with all the goodwill in the World I've got to experience the outcome. This is where we differ and on the fact he looks sweet to me not a douche. Lots of women poolside on holiday try to ensnare him. No I cannot compete with younger women. My competitive days are over. I have accepted my looks and can improve diet and exercise if only to regain a healthy state. Zied literally got me out of a deep depression where I'd stopped functioning almost. I wore a happy face like the sad clown but my private life was and still is in part shambles. I can not fault his patience and kindness when I was I'll or shielding my body from oncoming traffic. Acting quickly when the sea got too deep. I cant swim only paddle. I owe him my life. I'm not easy to get on with. My depression is uneducated because I threw pharmaceuticals away hence the lack of serotonin made it difficult for me to keep relationships including meeting friends for coffee. Yes he's the cause of my stress more so when I was deeply entrenched in self pity. Please dont judge a book by its cover and contents before the end. I know you mean well.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
Dear Southern Girl. You are very wise and kind. I thank you for putting in the time and energy to read and reply to my trying to justify his past behaviour. I hope other more astute women can take heed. I'm 3 years and 4 months into this relationship and with all the goodwill in the World I've got to experience the outcome. This is where we differ and on the fact he looks sweet to me not a douche. Lots of women poolside on holiday try to ensnare him. No I cannot compete with younger women. My competitive days are over. I have accepted my looks and can improve diet and exercise if only to regain a healthy state. Zied literally got me out of a deep depression where I'd stopped functioning almost. I wore a happy face like the sad clown but my private life was and still is in part shambles. I can not fault his patience and kindness when I was I'll or shielding my body from oncoming traffic. Acting quickly when the sea got too deep. I cant swim only paddle. I owe him my life. I'm not easy to get on with. My depression is unmedicated because I threw pharmaceuticals away hence the lack of serotonin made it difficult for me to keep relationships including meeting friends for coffee. Yes he's the cause of my stress more so when I was deeply entrenched in self pity. Please dont judge a book by its cover and contents before the end. I know you mean well.
 

simple

Major Ratslayer
Don’t worry be happy. Everything’s gonna be alright! Bob Marley. I don’t use weed but when I’m with Zied I’m on a high. He’s highly addictive as was/is many of the Tunisian men portrayed here.
I dispair , really i do ....Your the oldest teenager i know.Will you come down off your pink fluffy cloud for a moment ,,Hes a rat and its going to devastate you .He caught you at your most vulnerable,,you acted like a damsel in distress and who was there to save you ,super rat dum dum dum!!!! We really dont want to see you hurt ,no matter how sensilble and mature you sound ,You still have rose coloured specs on...
 

Croydon girl

Major Ratslayer
I dispair , really i do ....Your the oldest teenager i know.Will you come down off your pink fluffy cloud for a moment ,,Hes a rat and its going to devastate you .He caught you at your most vulnerable,,you acted like a damsel in distress and who was there to save you ,super rat dum dum dum!!!! We really dont want to see you hurt ,no matter how sensilble and mature you sound ,You still have rose coloured specs on...
He will never get to England! She doesn't want to live in Tunisia! Game over!
 

SouthernGirl

Major Ratslayer
Dear Southern Girl. You are very wise and kind. I thank you for putting in the time and energy to read and reply to my trying to justify his past behaviour. I hope other more astute women can take heed. I'm 3 years and 4 months into this relationship and with all the goodwill in the World I've got to experience the outcome. This is where we differ and on the fact he looks sweet to me not a douche. Lots of women poolside on holiday try to ensnare him. No I cannot compete with younger women. My competitive days are over. I have accepted my looks and can improve diet and exercise if only to regain a healthy state. Zied literally got me out of a deep depression where I'd stopped functioning almost. I wore a happy face like the sad clown but my private life was and still is in part shambles. I can not fault his patience and kindness when I was I'll or shielding my body from oncoming traffic. Acting quickly when the sea got too deep. I cant swim only paddle. I owe him my life. I'm not easy to get on with. My depression is uneducated because I threw pharmaceuticals away hence the lack of serotonin made it difficult for me to keep relationships including meeting friends for coffee. Yes he's the cause of my stress more so when I was deeply entrenched in self pity. Please dont judge a book by its cover and contents before the end. I know you mean well.
I’m glad I didn’t upset you because what I said was not pleasant to hear. Thank you for being humble and kind. If only you’d stop kidding yourself. I agree with Simple. You’re thinking in an immature way, like a teenager. Like a teen, you can’t see the consequences of your decisions but you’re an adult so you should know better. You chose to be blind and live in a world of fantasy.
I know you won’t leave your bloke now. You are addicted to him, I’d say even infatuated, and you invested 3 years of your life. You’re alone and you crave attention. You believe you owe him your life. The fact he saved your life doesn’t make him a good person. He’s still a rat. If I remember correctly, you were crossing the street and he helped you avoid being hit by a truck. Nothing heroic. Anybody would have done it.
You said that you started to visit this page 3 years ago at the same time you started this relationship with him. This is so sad that even though you read all these stories, you still went ahead and continued seeing him. Some women come here because they suspect a man they talk to is a rat and end things with them after reading a few things on this forum. They get it immediately. Actually, there were 2 ladies last week that did it. Strong women who refuse to take crap from dishonest men and who value themselves. You’ve read things for 3 years, you’ve been warned.. You’re still think he’s the Shite and that he’s crazy about you, that he doesn’t have any hidden motives.
All I can say is protect your assets.. and expect the worst because it won’t end well. This is sad that you don’t have many friends because you’ll need a strong support system when he leaves you. You’re alone and it’s not good. I am, like the rest of us, truly sorry for you, Pussycatz.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
I agree. It’s very unlikely he makes it to England. Meanwhile she’s putting her life on hold for a man who probably mocks her behind her back. So, so sad...
Sorry to disappoint Croydon Girl. He will legally make it to England. He has no criminal record and we have all the credentials. The first plan was to marry in Tunisia and as that is not possible due
I’m glad I didn’t upset you because what I said was not pleasant to hear. Thank you for being humble and kind. If only you’d stop kidding yourself. I agree with Simple. You’re thinking in an immature way, like a teenager. Like a teen, you can’t see the consequences of your decisions but you’re an adult so you should know better. You chose to be blind and live in a world of fantasy.
I know you won’t leave your bloke now. You are addicted to him, I’d say even infatuated, and you invested 3 years of your life. You’re alone and you crave attention. You believe you owe him your life. The fact he saved your life doesn’t make him a good person. He’s still a rat. If I remember correctly, you were crossing the street and he helped you avoid being hit by a truck. Nothing heroic. Anybody would have done it.
You said that you started to visit this page 3 years ago at the same time you started this relationship with him. This is so sad that even though you read all these stories, you still went ahead and continued seeing him. Some women come here because they suspect a man they talk to is a rat and end things with them after reading a few things on this forum. They get it immediately. Actually, there were 2 ladies last week that did it. Strong women who refuse to take crap from dishonest men and who value themselves. You’ve read things for 3 years, you’ve been warned.. You’re still think he’s the brown substance and that he’s crazy about you, that he doesn’t have any hidden motives.
All I can say is protect your assets.. and expect the worst because it won’t end well. This is sad that you don’t have many friends because you’ll need a strong support system when he leaves you. You’re alone and it’s not good. I am, like the rest of us, truly sorry for you, Pussycatz.
I agree. It’s very unlikely he makes it to England. Meanwhile she’s putting her life on hold for a man who probably mocks her behind her back. So, so sad...
Please don’t feel sorry for me. Nothing is impossible. I have had legal advice. We’re on Lockdown now so more delays. Fiancé visa is the most difficult to obtain. If it fails despite my lawyers in future then we will consider other options. Like marrying in Seychelles with Foreign Office and Embassy permissions. Do you remember Heather from Eastenders? An actress. She took years to bring her Morrocan spouse to England. They are happy together despite age difference. I am a Romantic and yes my aunt has said I act like her teen granddaughters! I’ve never had responsibility of children and I never had to cook for same. I always had food made for me or bought. I can do little more than basics, but even Domestic science teacher at school gave up on me. I’m a dreamer and sometimes dreams come true. Will make a change from the nightmares I’ve experienced from western men. So yes I’m bowled over by Tunisian charm.
I’m glad I didn’t upset you because what I said was not pleasant to hear. Thank you for being humble and kind. If only you’d stop kidding yourself. I agree with Simple. You’re thinking in an immature way, like a teenager. Like a teen, you can’t see the consequences of your decisions but you’re an adult so you should know better. You chose to be blind and live in a world of fantasy.
I know you won’t leave your bloke now. You are addicted to him, I’d say even infatuated, and you invested 3 years of your life. You’re alone and you crave attention. You believe you owe him your life. The fact he saved your life doesn’t make him a good person. He’s still a rat. If I remember correctly, you were crossing the street and he helped you avoid being hit by a truck. Nothing heroic. Anybody would have done it.
You said that you started to visit this page 3 years ago at the same time you started this relationship with him. This is so sad that even though you read all these stories, you still went ahead and continued seeing him. Some women come here because they suspect a man they talk to is a rat and end things with them after reading a few things on this forum. They get it immediately. Actually, there were 2 ladies last week that did it. Strong women who refuse to take crap from dishonest men and who value themselves. You’ve read things for 3 years, you’ve been warned.. You’re still think he’s the brown substance and that he’s crazy about you, that he doesn’t have any hidden motives.
All I can say is protect your assets.. and expect the worst because it won’t end well. This is sad that you don’t have many friends because you’ll need a strong support system when he leaves you. You’re alone and it’s not good. I am, like the rest of us, truly sorry for you, Pussycatz.
I will try and protect my assets. I learnt from my ex husband who held on to his!
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
Pussycatz, maybe you desperately need to believe in the love of this rat...in order to keep your mental health at the moment?
Otherwise I can not understand your destiny theory. Why hang on to a bad ending by all means ?
Dear Myriam, nobody knows how it will end. Life is a journey. So far the crazy train has made a few pit stops and is in the station on Lockdown. But yes he has helped me retain my sanity initially. To be honest it hasn’t been an easy ride with his temper tantrums. I now know how to diffuse them instead of inflame. TLR has helped me face some unpleasant truths. However his good qualities override the bad just now. It may well end but it will take more than fear of the future to happen. He may well decide to leave me during Lockdown. I don’t feel this but there is also the possibility of a happy ending in which case I will have followed the advice to avoid the pitfalls.
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
I"ll pre empt ,puzzycats!!!" Love will find a way ,somehow well come through ,now ive found you,love will find a way "" Lion king 2....Life is a disney show ,old chum ,,come to the disney show!!
Yes life is beautiful but even in Disney there’s some hair raising moments! My era was more like Dorothy in following the yellow brick road! Peace out!
 

Pussycatz

Senior Rat Expert
I’m glad I didn’t upset you because what I said was not pleasant to hear. Thank you for being humble and kind. If only you’d stop kidding yourself. I agree with Simple. You’re thinking in an immature way, like a teenager. Like a teen, you can’t see the consequences of your decisions but you’re an adult so you should know better. You chose to be blind and live in a world of fantasy.
I know you won’t leave your bloke now. You are addicted to him, I’d say even infatuated, and you invested 3 years of your life. You’re alone and you crave attention. You believe you owe him your life. The fact he saved your life doesn’t make him a good person. He’s still a rat. If I remember correctly, you were crossing the street and he helped you avoid being hit by a truck. Nothing heroic. Anybody would have done it.
You said that you started to visit this page 3 years ago at the same time you started this relationship with him. This is so sad that even though you read all these stories, you still went ahead and continued seeing him. Some women come here because they suspect a man they talk to is a rat and end things with them after reading a few things on this forum. They get it immediately. Actually, there were 2 ladies last week that did it. Strong women who refuse to take crap from dishonest men and who value themselves. You’ve read things for 3 years, you’ve been warned.. You’re still think he’s the brown substance and that he’s crazy about you, that he doesn’t have any hidden motives.
All I can say is protect your assets.. and expect the worst because it won’t end well. This is sad that you don’t have many friends because you’ll need a strong support system when he leaves you. You’re alone and it’s not good. I am, like the rest of us, truly sorry for you, Pussycatz.
Sometimes it takes an even Stronger woman to weather the storm.
 

smiley

Major Ratslayer
Of course, he didn’t take all your money or and he didn’t beat you up. Why would he do it? He’s still in the stage of convincing you he’s a good guy. That’s later they show their true colors. Your argument of you not having reasons of leaving him because he didn’t beat you up or he didn’t rip you off financially is silly. So are you waiting until he does these things? Of course not but you see what I mean... It’s like only a big drama would need to happen for you to finally see reality as it is. It is what it’ll take so you realize at last what kind of individual he is? I hope it never happens but you are putting yourself in a dangerous situation. Living with a man who showed you he has very low morals. He’ll change, right? That happens only in movies.
You’re not being reasonable. I’d be more cautious.

You say that you don’t have hard evidence he's a rat therefore you have no reason of leaving him. Blame it on the pink glasses. You need solid, real evidence. What about common sense?
I don’t want to be mean and rude and I know victims tend to get quite defensive when you tell them to get real but we keep telling you these things because we know what’s going on here. This is more than obvious. No need of “tangible proofs”. Do you know how many women before you thought and said the same as you do now? They were all so positive -just like you- that their young lover was the love of their life, that they were smarter and prettier than the other women who got conned. If we tell you that, it’s because it happened to thousands of women before you and you’re no exception. All thought like you did, that they were the exception, that their story was exceptional, that their man was different than others, that their couple would beat the odds..

I saw the couple of pictures of you and him together. Yes, you’re a pretty woman and from your previous posts, you’re confident about your looks. This is a good thing to have confidence. So many women, even the most beautiful ones, can find only flaws when they look at themselves in the mirror. So kuddos to you for being happy with your looks. That being said, even as attractive as you are, you can’t compete with younger women his age. Sorry for being a bit harsh but you can’t kid yourself. Please do not call me ageist. This is reality.

Now him: Sometimes, we can judge a book by its cover and I’m sorry but this guy looks like a complete douche. That’s all there is to it. When I looked at your pictures, I thought : what does this cute lady do with that? You can do much, much better and even better: You could be so much happier with someone else than a guy that leaves you with many doubts and questions. You mentioned you have some anxiety issues at night. Could it be, at least in part, due to the fact you’re torturing yourself emotionally because of this relationship, because you chose to be with a man you can’t fully trust?
I don’t know why you are doing that to yourself. Sorry for being blunt. I’ll stop writing you for a while. You’ve heard enough from me I’m sure. I feel I have been too direct and I don’t like to say things that are hurtful to hear. Didn’t want to be mean but man, how can we get through to you?
My ex was an angel when i was at Tunisia,well he hit me one time,but as soon as he got his visa and entered my country,he showed his true colors.
 
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