Reformed Rats

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SouthernGirl

Well-Known Member
My rat did the same thing ...it started with the internet ..playing soo poor ...he said "f..this relationship if i dont send money for the internet" then it became other things as well ...like doctor etc...but one time i could not pay for the doctor and he holds it against me till this day. In a mean time his mother has nice jewelery and i sold mine near the end to go there because it was all draining me financially...but now he said that i did not send much and that i am cheap. I would not hesitate to sell my jewelery if my son was sick. dont expect any gratitute pussycatz and it hurts ..that part is the worse for me him denying that i did anything for him at all and constant saying that i am soo cheap. In a meantime his family did not even give us any wedding present. Oh i think one of his uncles gave some money but of course i would not see any of it...not that i needed it. Yet his brothers wedding was the real thing i guess...i am sure that my ex sister in law did not have to give his brother any money during their courtship. I think it was all a joke for them. Nothing was worth it from what i see now.
So sorry for the pain you went through., Anna2you. I, for the life of me, can’t understand where these men got the idea that they are entitled to other people’s money and the nerve they have to blame the women who loved them for not “giving them enough” and for “being cheap”. Especially when they come from a culture where it’s the men who are expected to provide. He caused you a lot of sorrow and anger I’m sure, but at least he’s out of your life now and you can enjoy a rat-free life. He, on the other end, will never be happy and will live a miserable life. I really believe that such evil creatures can’t be happy because they don’t appreciate anything good in life.
 

Anna2you

Well-Known Member
So sorry for the pain you went through., Anna2you. I, for the life of me, can’t understand where these men got the idea that they are entitled to other people’s money and the nerve they have to blame the women who loved them for not “giving them enough” and for “being cheap”. Especially when they come from a culture where it’s the men who are expected to provide. He caused you a lot of sorrow and anger I’m sure, but at least he’s out of your life now and you can enjoy a rat-free life. He, on the other end, will never be happy and will live a miserable life. I really believe that such evil creatures can’t be happy because they don’t appreciate anything good in life.
Thank you for your kind words SouthernGirl. Yes he did cause me sorrow and i do feel angry that i fell for any of his lies. I do feel better slowly by slowly but i am not completely ok yet. I am trying to stay busy to have new experiences replace the memories but i still often wake up from a bad dream about him. I hope they will go away soon.
 

SouthernGirl

Well-Known Member
Thank you for your kind words SouthernGirl. Yes he did cause me sorrow and i do feel angry that i fell for any of his lies. I do feel better slowly by slowly but i am not completely ok yet. I am trying to stay busy to have new experiences replace the memories but i still often wake up from a bad dream about him. I hope they will go away soon.
It takes time to heal. You were with this man for several years and being so poorly treated by someone you cared deeply for leaves scars and you don’t heal overnight. It’s really good you keep busy. It’s the best way not to think about it. The worst is staying home and alone, overthinking and letting the anger consume us. The bad dreams about him will become less and less frequent. This is so nice of you to be here and share your experience and use it to help others. You could have been bitter about it but instead you choose to be positive and support other ladies and it takes strength and you can be proud of yourself.
 

Layla

Member
@Pussycatz it seems to me that you are in love with the idea of being in love. Nothing wrong with that, except you seem to think you can iron out his flaws and mould him into the man you think he can become once you get him to the UK. You are projecting onto him and fantasising about a person that does not actually exist. He is showing you what he wants to show you and if you've already had flashes of this "border-line narcissistic "Entitled " behaviour" (your quote) it is my absolute guarantee this behaviour will be amplified X100 should you bring him to the UK

Not judging, we (as women - can't speak for men) have all had relationships where we've tried to change men or hoped they would change, whether is be something minor like his rubbish dress sense or something dangerous. That's why girls like bad boys. Surely "I" can be the the one to change him? All he needs is the love of a good woman (me) and he will be fine. Love will save the day...except it's never enough.

All you have to do is pick up any woman's magazine and you'll find it brimming with stories of women who have met their Prince Charming who was wonderful in the beginning, then he started to cheat on her/abuse her/control her etc but she stays with him and endures it sometimes for decades because she lives in hope someday he will go back to being the wonderful man he once at the beginning. Never happens. Ever.

It must be something in our DNA as females why we endure these relationships, as nurturers and carers and givers of life. Some of us learn from our mistakes and we grow from it, some of us just go on repeating the same patterns over and over.

We all want to believe our man is different. The 1%

Like I said in my first post, it's an afflication so common they call it MMID. He's not. You are in denial. I hope for your sake you wake up before too much damage has been done.
 

Amira

Rat Expert
Well I'm his Fiance that means I made s promise to Marry him. I Love him more than I dislike his border-line narcissistic "Entitled " behaviour. I find him a challenge and I no longer lose self control and cry and shout because I'm learning too to behave in a proper manner. If it doesn't work out then I will say yes I ignored red flags for the excitement, passion, love. If he left me a year ago I might have broken down but understand rat mentality well I'm a cat person. Stronger than a mere rat. He says hes not a rat. Well he ought to prove it. Meanwhile I've toughened up thanks to TLR and all the ladies should love themselves more. I'm not running scared. I need proof of cheating. As for money issues he's not from a poor family and if he tries that bullshit on me in future he can buy his own visa to timbuctoo. I pay for what I want. No more manipulation. As for London guys they sleep around. Some contact me from fb but I just block. I'm not interested in dating men with flash cars n zero commitment. Going out was worse in a drinking social setting, drunken cheating
Understand you well but take care of yourself because there are actually a lot of bad men out there. I think there are more bad than good. Check him out from the top down. Be stubborn.
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Understand you well but take care of yourself because there are actually a lot of bad men out there. I think there are more bad than good. Check him out from the top down. Be stubborn.
Thank you. I do question his behaviour and long time ago he said he had changed but he does revert to his feeling “entitled” to what’s mine is his. On the whole I do Love him and every relationship has its own problems. More so with inter racial couples. Two different cultures, religions and social expectations.
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
So sorry for the pain you went through., Anna2you. I, for the life of me, can’t understand where these men got the idea that they are entitled to other people’s money and the nerve they have to blame the women who loved them for not “giving them enough” and for “being cheap”. Especially when they come from a culture where it’s the men who are expected to provide. He caused you a lot of sorrow and anger I’m sure, but at least he’s out of your life now and you can enjoy a rat-free life. He, on the other end, will never be happy and will live a miserable life. I really believe that such evil creatures can’t be happy because they don’t appreciate anything good in life.
Anna’s messages disappeared before I could read it due to the “glitch” on this website. I too am sorry she went through so much emotional pain. I get the no internet soon crap also. They can’t survive without internet. I was such a mug. My friend added up the true cost of this relationship and it’s shocking I allowed myself to be manipulated in this way. I hope I don’t have to experience an acrimonious breakup. I think my divorce from my ex British born Turkish Cypriot caused me a lot of PTSD apart from the terrible car accident we were both in. He really took it out on me both emotionally and physically but never financially. He paid for everything luxury holidays etc. He never took advantage in that way and was the breadwinner. My present Fiancé May never reform in which case he will be a sad lonely self entitled rat because no woman is going to be an endless supply to him. Eventually they wake up and their lovers, husbands are not young and cute no more. If they treat us like a commodity very soon they will meet their match when they marry into a money grabbing family with their overpriced hymen intact Tunie Bride.
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
@Pussycatz it seems to me that you are in love with the idea of being in love. Nothing wrong with that, except you seem to think you can iron out his flaws and mould him into the man you think he can become once you get him to the UK. You are projecting onto him and fantasising about a person that does not actually exist. He is showing you what he wants to show you and if you've already had flashes of this "border-line narcissistic "Entitled " behaviour" (your quote) it is my absolute guarantee this behaviour will be amplified X100 should you bring him to the UK

Not judging, we (as women - can't speak for men) have all had relationships where we've tried to change men or hoped they would change, whether is be something minor like his rubbish dress sense or something dangerous. That's why girls like bad boys. Surely "I" can be the the one to change him? All he needs is the love of a good woman (me) and he will be fine. Love will save the day...except it's never enough.

All you have to do is pick up any woman's magazine and you'll find it brimming with stories of women who have met their Prince Charming who was wonderful in the beginning, then he started to cheat on her/abuse her/control her etc but she stays with him and endures it sometimes for decades because she lives in hope someday he will go back to being the wonderful man he once at the beginning. Never happens. Ever.

It must be something in our DNA as females why we endure these relationships, as nurturers and carers and givers of life. Some of us learn from our mistakes and we grow from it, some of us just go on repeating the same patterns over and over.

We all want to believe our man is different. The 1%

Like I said in my first post, it's an afflication so common they call it MMID. He's not. You are in denial. I hope for your sake you wake up before too much damage has been done.
Thank you for your opinion based on probability. However it is my Fiancé who suggested he had changed his mentality with regards to money but he hasn’t so it is I who have to change and be more assertive. If women keep enabling dependent men then it weakens them further. Therefore no more sob stories please to all rats reading this. Get off your ass and work or get a better paying job. I’m sick of being used. They are not the last men on earth any ladies who think they are. My Love is being eroded so it’s not always the rats doing the dumping. Everything comes to an end. I’m willing and able to pay for what he genuinely needs but not 3 x the price as in the past no matter how much he trys to justify it with exchange rates. So you see I’m not suffering from MMID or delusional. I follow the serenity Prayer and yes people can change of their own volition. Sometimes with guidance. Imagine never been taught morals or true values just that money means everything? My Fiancé told me that they don’t date in Tunisia it is frowned upon. Marriage really is a financial transaction as in arranged by families and if the two agree. Might explain why rats aren’t married. The only assets they have are derived from European and American, Canadians.
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Thank you for your opinion based on probability. However it is my Fiancé who suggested he had changed his mentality with regards to money but he hasn’t so it is I who have to change and be more assertive. If women keep enabling dependent men then it weakens them further. Therefore no more sob stories please to all rats reading this. Get off your ass and work or get a better paying job. I’m sick of being used. They are not the last men on earth any ladies who think they are. My Love is being eroded so it’s not always the rats doing the dumping. Everything comes to an end. I’m willing and able to pay for what he genuinely needs but not 3 x the price as in the past no matter how much he trys to justify it with exchange rates. So you see I’m not suffering from MMID or delusional. I follow the serenity Prayer and yes people can change of their own volition. Sometimes with guidance. Imagine never been taught morals or true values just that money means everything? My Fiancé told me that they don’t date in Tunisia it is frowned upon. Marriage really is a financial transaction as in arranged by families and if the two agree. Might explain why rats aren’t married. The only assets they have are derived from European and American, Canadians.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
 

Judithlyn

Senior Rat Expert
I think everything you say sounds true. Except the last sentence. He makes me feel alive. The truth is I don’t know the whole truth only what he tells me. I have trust issues that’s one reason I’m on this forum. He could be spinning m a line. I will check Linked but I have a feeling he’s not listed there. I love him and I’m going to see how it plays out. The happy ever after story. He’s quite the Romantic with honeyed words. Anyway I hope I’m strong enough if things turn sour.
PLEASE STOP BEING BLIND! I know ElHamma very well! Rats.....that’s all they produce! You need to close your pocketbook very tight! You are falling for his garbage! They are pros at this! He’s laughing at you in the cafe shops behind your back. I saw the cafe shops in ElHamma. They were full but at that time, I had no idea about bezness or abusing foreigners! PLEASE save your money! I lost $26,000 to an ElHamma asshole! The stuff you write, I could have written, except that I lived with my rat for years. I’ve deeply learned about bezness! WAKE UP! I hope you’ve never been nude on Skype! Blackmail is VERY common! These creeps are ruthless and they know exactly the right words to say to get what they want! You are going to be destroyed by him! He won’t stop taking from you until you put your foot down. Even then, he will sweet talk you to try to keep you on his hook! They are all evil monsters! I’m not saying anymore! In your heart, you KNOW that you have a fat rat! They will stay married for decades as long as they are winning! They cheat! They lie! Not a loyal bone in their bodies! I guarantee that your rat boy is talking to other foreigners right now.....everyday! When you are with him, his rat friends will pretend to be him to keep the other women on the hook. You have probably been chatting with his friends, thinking it was him! Their lies, plots, drama is truly amazing, except that foreign women are ALWAYS harmed! Please wake up!
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
The brothers a rat too !!His wife paid for the farm and house in Tunisia ,,and the house in Switzerland and its all in his name i bet ..22 years ago before internet and smart phones an 8 year old boy saw his brother interact with a tourist and reap all the rewards .And his wife is much older i believe .Ive read this story before on here.The brother wont help him with money .And the farm and house is in hs brothers name ,because a non national cant buy land in a non touristic zone .He landed on his feet ,didnt he ..
Yes he did land in his feet. I met with him in March. He seemed a very smooth character. Completely opposite to his younger brother my Fiancé. His wife is about 2 years older than me but I never met her. Saw her on webcam once. I agree he must have had a profound influence over his brother. It is learned behaviour because we are taught family values before peer group pressure. I just wonder why he never sponsored his brother to Switzerland if he’s so rich and apparently it is because he put him through college in Tunisia, and now he’s a man and it’s my responsibility! Other Europeans do more. I was so angry and it’s frustrating try to get through to him that there’s one rule for Tunisian women and another foreigners. He said because the aTunie girls don’t have money. Rubbish! Loads work. He’s still sweet n charming except when we have blow outs but they are calm discussions now with a brick wall. I am infuriated but remaining calm as it’s not good for my heart. Also this TLR has uncovered a lot about their tricks as a collective. I’m sure they do teach eachother how to make Europeans fall in love with them. They may love them back eventually but love their men friends more as they are Homo Social as one member put it.
 

simple

Ratslayer
Yes he did land in his feet. I met with him in March. He seemed a very smooth character. Completely opposite to his younger brother my Fiancé. His wife is about 2 years older than me but I never met her. Saw her on webcam once. I agree he must have had a profound influence over his brother. It is learned behaviour because we are taught family values before peer group pressure. I just wonder why he never sponsored his brother to Switzerland if he’s so rich and apparently it is because he put him through college in Tunisia, and now he’s a man and it’s my responsibility! Other Europeans do more. I was so angry and it’s frustrating try to get through to him that there’s one rule for Tunisian women and another foreigners. He said because the aTunie girls don’t have money. Rubbish! Loads work. He’s still sweet n charming except when we have blow outs but they are calm discussions now with a brick wall. I am infuriated but remaining calm as it’s not good for my heart. Also this TLR has uncovered a lot about their tricks as a collective. I’m sure they do teach eachother how to make Europeans fall in love with them. They may love them back eventually but love their men friends more as they are Homo Social as one member put it.
Its all about up bringing..I never heard a mother tell her kids she loves them ,or the father act romantically to his wife...When my niece or nephew call ,it alays ends with love you bye!! Not in Tunisia ,its not a word often used and im sure in a lot of cases its not important ..Arranged marriages,womens roles ,it boils down to duty .Man must provide,women must be subserviant .It will be impossible to change someones view ,when the word love is not part of their up bringing...Its just a 4 letter word to them and its only said to tourists ,,
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
So Zied is from El Hamma...why doesn't this surprise me...
You should go and live there with him for some months dear...

You've got yourself a well trained rat. Where did the money come from to build the big and nice family house you talked about?!
I answered that in previous posts on a different forum. im Not living in that dusty dirt track road city. No matter how big the house. If I was given a house free there I would not live with no comparison to London Lifestyle which I will introduce Zied to as he makes me feel like a Spring chicken.
 

Wannahelpu

Active Member
My rat used a smartphone with a broken screen and kept showing me. I didn't give a damn about it, but now I believe he just used his broken cell phone to see if I would comment on something, the perfect occasion for him to say he needed a new one. I think that was it. Because he only used his broken cell phone when he knew I was coming. When I came by surprise, he used a brand new one.
What an idiot! I don’t even have the money to buy a top-of-the-line cell phone, imagine if I would give one to a disgusting and rude man like him. He was really stupid, because the worse he treated me, the worse his chance of get anything. lol
And he treated me badly because he knew I was suffering from recent heartbreak at the time and I was feeling awful.
However, soon I started to take care of myself, to be more neat, and both - he and I - realized that many guys were looking at me, because I had forgotten that I could be attractive woman. Then he worked hard to make me feel like a rag again, trying to destroy my self-esteem, to make me think something like "I better stay home, I must be unpleasant, ugly! I'm nasty, see how he didn't like me!"
such that I would even be able "to pay to get" someone's affection. What an assh&#e!
I feel disgust just remember it! Did he ask his wife* to buy the new cell phone or was it for another victim who gave him one?

* As I told you here before, he lied to me that he was divorced!
 

SouthernGirl

Well-Known Member
My rat used a smartphone with a broken screen and kept showing me. I didn't give a damn about it, but now I believe he just used his broken cell phone to see if I would comment on something, the perfect occasion for him to say he needed a new one. I think that was it. Because he only used his broken cell phone when he knew I was coming. When I came by surprise, he used a brand new one.
What an idiot! I don’t even have the money to buy a top-of-the-line cell phone, imagine if I would give one to a disgusting and rude man like him. He was really stupid, because the worse he treated me, the worse his chance of get anything. lol
And he treated me badly because he knew I was suffering from recent heartbreak at the time and I was feeling awful.
However, soon I started to take care of myself, to be more neat, and both - he and I - realized that many guys were looking at me, because I had forgotten that I could be attractive woman. Then he worked hard to make me feel like a rag again, trying to destroy my self-esteem, to make me think something like "I better stay home, I must be unpleasant, ugly! I'm nasty, see how he didn't like me!"
such that I would even be able "to pay to get" someone's affection. What an assh&#e!
I feel disgust just remember it! Did he ask his wife* to buy the new cell phone or was it for another victim who gave him one?

* As I told you here before, he lied to me that he was divorced!
So he used a broken cellphone around you hoping that you’d buy him a new one when he already had one? How low can they get? I’m glad you didn’t fall for it. And on top of that, the loser was married. I’m so sorry he attempted to break your spirit and made you feel bad about yourself. What an ugly man. He didn’t get what he wanted out of you so he tried to put you down. Stupid jerk.
 

Wannahelpu

Active Member
So he used a broken cellphone around you hoping that you’d buy him a new one when he already had one? How low can they get? I’m glad you didn’t fall for it. And on top of that, the loser was married. I’m so sorry he attempted to break your spirit and made you feel bad about yourself. What an ugly man. He didn’t get what he wanted out of you so he tried to put you down. Stupid jerk.
Yes, dear. He's the worst human being I've ever heard of in my life.
 

SouthernGirl

Well-Known Member
Yes, dear. He's the worst human being I've ever heard of in my life.
I bet he is. The good thing is he’s now out of your life and I hope you realize how much strength and knowledge you gained out of this bad episode in your life. You sound like such a kind person, you’re compassionate toward all the ladies here and it’s wonderful you are that way when some become bitter after a bad experience. Thank you for your post.
 

Mouais

Member
Someone here mentioned MMID
I just googled it and all I found was “ mobile money identifier “.
Reading some of these stories I think this is also very apt
I also googled it and thought the same. But then I googled 'MMID syndrome' which brought me to a site called danielpipes.org... very hard to navigate, on phone at least, but absolutely littered with sadly recognisable stories about MENA rats and western women. Just shows how rife this is. For any doubters Your Mohamed Isnt Different....TLR got a couple of mentions
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Yes I paid nothing over here as I was on government assistance at the time of the visa
Did he pay for his own airfare? Also sponsorhip means food utilities and accommodation which normally isnt free so you logically paid even if it was government assistance so he got a free ride or free living expenses in Germany paid for by you, the taxpayers. No such thing as a free lunch except for Tunisian rats. If he is do perfect why is your facebook full of melancholy. Narcists, leaving you etc. Not mentioning real names here again as I did not know the rules. Also only one photo of you with him. Remember when you stalked my Fiances fsvebook before he blocked you? The honey trap I never asked for but curiously with your real profile photo at the time not that you fancied him? Sorry you are having relationship problems. Dont pretend again that profile wasnt you as a Moderator blocked my IP for days and confirmed a warning not to mention members by their real names do Minnie is not your real name. If I get blocked again for my Fiance being stalked I guess I cant answer.
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Did he pay for his own airfare? Also sponsorhip means food utilities and accommodation which normally isnt free so you logically paid even if it was government assistance so he got a free ride or free living expenses in Germany paid for by you, the taxpayers. No such thing as a free lunch except for Tunisian rats. If he is do perfect why is your facebook full of melancholy. Narcists, leaving you etc. Not mentioning real names here again as I did not know the rules. Also only one photo of you with him. Remember when you stalked my Fiances fsvebook before he blocked you? The honey trap I never asked for but curiously with your real profile photo at the time not that you fancied him? Sorry you are having relationship problems. Dont pretend again that profile wasnt you as a Moderator blocked my IP for days and confirmed a warning not to mention members by their real names do Minnie is not your real name. If I get blocked again for my Fiance being stalked I guess I cant answer.
Ps if he really got a free ride to Germany there are no photos of you and him there or your wedding for that matter only a visa baby belly. No names mentioned again. Seems being truthful is hard for some members to hear or be.
 
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