Reformed Rats

Status
Not open for further replies.

Layla

Member
I answered that in previous posts on a different forum. im Not living in that dusty dirt track road city. No matter how big the house. If I was given a house free there I would not live with no comparison to London Lifestyle which I will introduce Zied to as he makes me feel like a Spring chicken.
Okay Pussycatz so lets forget about all the red flags and assume this is an actual bona fide relationship and he's in it for love. Lets also assume he has been accepted for a spouse visa and is coming to live it up in London.

Have you given any thought to how hard it will be? I have been through this situation, having been married to an Egyptian who I met abroad. We've been living in the UK for 10 years together now so I know a thing or two about how challenging it is to bring someone to a country where it rains 260 days of the year and they have to start from scratch finding a job and friends and building a life which is vastly different from the one they've come from.

Has he ever left Tunisia? Has he ventured outside of MENA?

Lets assume he finds a job he likes and is happily ensconced in your home where you cook him wonderful halal meals and give him cooking and cleaning lessons and teach him all the life skills you have planned. You've installed a shitafa so he can shower his bum and have taken out a subscribtion to Arabic cable TV so he can watch his favourite shows and you spend evenings snuggled up watching TV that you can't understand.

You are in for a MASSIVE shock at how hard this will be. The loved up feeling will wear off in about 3 days and reality will BITE!

You have a 34 year age gap so I wonder how many shared interests you actually have?

What will you do together on an evening? Do you think he will want to spend his evenings with you watching Eastenders on the sofa? How long before he is off to the coffee shops smoking shisha everynight with his newly found Tunisian friends? Or glued to his phone and ignoring you?
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Okay Pussycatz so lets forget about all the red flags and assume this is an actual bona fide relationship and he's in it for love. Lets also assume he has been accepted for a spouse visa and is coming to live it up in London.

Have you given any thought to how hard it will be? I have been through this situation, having been married to an Egyptian who I met abroad. We've been living in the UK for 10 years together now so I know a thing or two about how challenging it is to bring someone to a country where it rains 260 days of the year and they have to start from scratch finding a job and friends and building a life which is vastly different from the one they've come from.

Has he ever left Tunisia? Has he ventured outside of MENA?

Lets assume he finds a job he likes and is happily ensconced in your home where you cook him wonderful halal meals and give him cooking and cleaning lessons and teach him all the life skills you have planned. You've installed a shitafa so he can shower his bum and have taken out a subscribtion to Arabic cable TV so he can watch his favourite shows and you spend evenings snuggled up watching TV that you can't understand.

You are in for a MASSIVE shock at how hard this will be. The loved up feeling will wear off in about 3 days and reality will BITE!

You have a 34 year age gap so I wonder how many shared interests you actually have?

What will you do together on an evening? Do you think he will want to spend his evenings with you watching Eastenders on the sofa? How long before he is off to the coffee shops smoking shisha everynight with his newly found Tunisian friends? Or glued to his phone and ignoring you?
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Interesting outlook Layla. You are still with your Egyptian man and they certainly are not easy to live with either as their Country women are still FGM circumcised in high percentage like 90 per cent despite being against the law. You have an exotic name so maybe you share religious beliefs. Yes Shifta great idea. However there are toilets that incorporate the wash stream healthy for both men n women almost like a bidet and toilet in one. I wont be cooking much. Funny he asked me today and I said my ex boyfriend was a chef n my ex husband took me to restaurants. Just now my bro delivered me his hand made chicken curry as he often does as he knows what a bad cook I am. Theres more to life than slaving over a hot stove. London has takeouts pubs restaurants if he doesn't like that he can cook. He did none when I stayed with him as his sisters did everything. Well I'm British and I do what I want when I want. Er that sounds like Butters from South Park! In all seriousness I laugh at ageism. Do you think we are all old ladies knitting socks for giraffes? You're as young as the man you feel. I am not a mother never will be a grandmother, maybe a grand Aunt someday and I'm certainly not conventional! If I was I wouldn't be dating who I want go where I want and do what I want within reason. No ties. I may sound irresponsible but I'm responsible. I stayed on the pill for 25 yrs so as not to have unwanted pregnancy out of wedlock as I'm not bringing up kids alone if I can help it. I am anti abortion so if I fell pregnant maybe I would have had a little me. God forbid! I can laugh at myself. I just want go be happy and he made me the happiest woman I've been in all my decades but also hes been the most frustrating. I can see good n bad in everyone. Yes I see our life as being Disneyland. All aboard for the time of his life. He can get off anytime now that I've run the gauntlet of emotions with him. The World is Our Oyster. As sweet dear mum used to tell me was mine. Even teachers used to say that. I was in a 20 year blue after she died. Death of my parents was sad. Of my disabled brother was devastating. I'm taking life with both hands and we live and learn or be paralyzed by fear. I'm not going to wish I should have done, could have done, would have done. My boundaries are if he is proven unfaithful, dishonest to a large degree or beats or bores me then I'm out. My Aneruczn cousins would say I can spin on a dime. So you dont really know me. Its him that has to conform to my Westen way with a little bit of Eastern spice and if he wants to embrace Jesus Christ fully a Chirch wedding would be nice some day. Dreamer? Yes maybe but to date more dreams tha nightmares come true. Life is what we choose in a free society. I will give him wings and what he chooses to do with them is his prerogative. To be or not to be a rat, that be the question! (Sorry Shakespeare! You know we love you or hate you). Amen.
 

simple

Ratslayer
Interesting outlook Layla. You are still with your Egyptian man and they certainly are not easy to live with either as their Country women are still FGM circumcised in high percentage like 90 per cent despite being against the law. You have an exotic name so maybe you share religious beliefs. Yes Shifta great idea. However there are toilets that incorporate the wash stream healthy for both men n women almost like a bidet and toilet in one. I wont be cooking much. Funny he asked me today and I said my ex boyfriend was a chef n my ex husband took me to restaurants. Just now my bro delivered me his hand made chicken curry as he often does as he knows what a bad cook I am. Theres more to life than slaving over a hot stove. London has takeouts pubs restaurants if he doesn't like that he can cook. He did none when I stayed with him as his sisters did everything. Well I'm British and I do what I want when I want. Er that sounds like Butters from South Park! In all seriousness I laugh at ageism. Do you think we are all old ladies knitting socks for giraffes? You're as young as the man you feel. I am not a mother never will be a grandmother, maybe a grand Aunt someday and I'm certainly not conventional! If I was I wouldn't be dating who I want go where I want and do what I want within reason. No ties. I may sound irresponsible but I'm responsible. I stayed on the pill for 25 yrs so as not to have unwanted pregnancy out of wedlock as I'm not bringing up kids alone if I can help it. I am anti abortion so if I fell pregnant maybe I would have had a little me. God forbid! I can laugh at myself. I just want go be happy and he made me the happiest woman I've been in all my decades but also hes been the most frustrating. I can see good n bad in everyone. Yes I see our life as being Disneyland. All aboard for the time of his life. He can get off anytime now that I've run the gauntlet of emotions with him. The World is Our Oyster. As sweet dear mum used to tell me was mine. Even teachers used to say that. I was in a 20 year blue after she died. Death of my parents was sad. Of my disabled brother was devastating. I'm taking life with both hands and we live and learn or be paralyzed by fear. I'm not going to wish I should have done, could have done, would have done. My boundaries are if he is proven unfaithful, dishonest to a large degree or beats or bores me then I'm out. My Aneruczn cousins would say I can spin on a dime. So you dont really know me. Its him that has to conform to my Westen way with a little bit of Eastern spice and if he wants to embrace Jesus Christ fully a Chirch wedding would be nice some day. Dreamer? Yes maybe but to date more dreams tha nightmares come true. Life is what we choose in a free society. I will give him wings and what he chooses to do with them is his prerogative. To be or not to be a rat, that be the question! (Sorry Shakespeare! You know we love you or hate you). Amen.
Your still living in the 1960s......Hippi ,,mode!! Please grow up ..!!Zied Ben rat ,will eat you up and spit you out and you wont be able to stop him..in fact your adding fuel to fire..Have your fling and move on, all this nonsence about love and marriage ,With an arab and a rat to boot ..Goodness Puzzycats ,,Shirley Valentine ,,isnt real ,its a film ..
 

Layla

Member
Interesting outlook Layla. You are still with your Egyptian man and they certainly are not easy to live with either as their Country women are still FGM circumcised in high percentage like 90 per cent despite being against the law. You have an exotic name so maybe you share religious beliefs. Yes Shifta great idea. However there are toilets that incorporate the wash stream healthy for both men n women almost like a bidet and toilet in one. I wont be cooking much. Funny he asked me today and I said my ex boyfriend was a chef n my ex husband took me to restaurants. Just now my bro delivered me his hand made chicken curry as he often does as he knows what a bad cook I am. Theres more to life than slaving over a hot stove. London has takeouts pubs restaurants if he doesn't like that he can cook. He did none when I stayed with him as his sisters did everything. Well I'm British and I do what I want when I want. Er that sounds like Butters from South Park! In all seriousness I laugh at ageism. Do you think we are all old ladies knitting socks for giraffes? You're as young as the man you feel. I am not a mother never will be a grandmother, maybe a grand Aunt someday and I'm certainly not conventional! If I was I wouldn't be dating who I want go where I want and do what I want within reason. No ties. I may sound irresponsible but I'm responsible. I stayed on the pill for 25 yrs so as not to have unwanted pregnancy out of wedlock as I'm not bringing up kids alone if I can help it. I am anti abortion so if I fell pregnant maybe I would have had a little me. God forbid! I can laugh at myself. I just want go be happy and he made me the happiest woman I've been in all my decades but also hes been the most frustrating. I can see good n bad in everyone. Yes I see our life as being Disneyland. All aboard for the time of his life. He can get off anytime now that I've run the gauntlet of emotions with him. The World is Our Oyster. As sweet dear mum used to tell me was mine. Even teachers used to say that. I was in a 20 year blue after she died. Death of my parents was sad. Of my disabled brother was devastating. I'm taking life with both hands and we live and learn or be paralyzed by fear. I'm not going to wish I should have done, could have done, would have done. My boundaries are if he is proven unfaithful, dishonest to a large degree or beats or bores me then I'm out. My Aneruczn cousins would say I can spin on a dime. So you dont really know me. Its him that has to conform to my Westen way with a little bit of Eastern spice and if he wants to embrace Jesus Christ fully a Chirch wedding would be nice some day. Dreamer? Yes maybe but to date more dreams tha nightmares come true. Life is what we choose in a free society. I will give him wings and what he chooses to do with them is his prerogative. To be or not to be a rat, that be the question! (Sorry Shakespeare! You know we love you or hate you). Amen.
Layla is not a religious name. It simply means "night" A lot of Arabic names have a meaning. Not sure why you mentioned FGM? I have certainly heard lots about it and it's a disgusting practice that has no place in society, nor does it have any relevance in my life as I've never come across anyone who is a supporter of it.

Good luck with the Church Wedding and converting him to your Western Ways. :)
 

Tigerpants

Well-Known Member
My rat used a smartphone with a broken screen and kept showing me. I didn't give a damn about it, but now I believe he just used his broken cell phone to see if I would comment on something, the perfect occasion for him to say he needed a new one. I think that was it. Because he only used his broken cell phone when he knew I was coming. When I came by surprise, he used a brand new one.
What an idiot! I don’t even have the money to buy a top-of-the-line cell phone, imagine if I would give one to a disgusting and rude man like him. He was really stupid, because the worse he treated me, the worse his chance of get anything. lol
And he treated me badly because he knew I was suffering from recent heartbreak at the time and I was feeling awful.
However, soon I started to take care of myself, to be more neat, and both - he and I - realized that many guys were looking at me, because I had forgotten that I could be attractive woman. Then he worked hard to make me feel like a rag again, trying to destroy my self-esteem, to make me think something like "I better stay home, I must be unpleasant, ugly! I'm nasty, see how he didn't like me!"
such that I would even be able "to pay to get" someone's affection. What an assh&#e!
I feel disgust just remember it! Did he ask his wife* to buy the new cell phone or was it for another victim who gave him one?

* As I told you here before, he lied to me that he was divorced!
@Wannahelpu Non of this is surprising yet still awful to read.
Most of us (I bet) will give their help, time and if necessary last penny to a friend in need but this behaviour reminds me of milking a cow or like small children who ask for toys, sweets , money etc...to their parents before they're taught these life lessons and boundaries- so annoying!
 

smiley

Junior Rat Expert
Okay Pussycatz so lets forget about all the red flags and assume this is an actual bona fide relationship and he's in it for love. Lets also assume he has been accepted for a spouse visa and is coming to live it up in London.

Have you given any thought to how hard it will be? I have been through this situation, having been married to an Egyptian who I met abroad. We've been living in the UK for 10 years together now so I know a thing or two about how challenging it is to bring someone to a country where it rains 260 days of the year and they have to start from scratch finding a job and friends and building a life which is vastly different from the one they've come from.

Has he ever left Tunisia? Has he ventured outside of MENA?

Lets assume he finds a job he likes and is happily ensconced in your home where you cook him wonderful halal meals and give him cooking and cleaning lessons and teach him all the life skills you have planned. You've installed a shitafa so he can shower his bum and have taken out a subscribtion to Arabic cable TV so he can watch his favourite shows and you spend evenings snuggled up watching TV that you can't understand.

You are in for a MASSIVE shock at how hard this will be. The loved up feeling will wear off in about 3 days and reality will BITE!

You have a 34 year age gap so I wonder how many shared interests you actually have?

What will you do together on an evening? Do you think he will want to spend his evenings with you watching Eastenders on the sofa? How long before he is off to the coffee shops smoking shisha everynight with his newly found Tunisian friends? Or glued to his phone and ignoring you?
Its exactly the way it is,i can confurm that
 

SouthernGirl

Well-Known Member
Did he pay for his own airfare? Also sponsorhip means food utilities and accommodation which normally isnt free so you logically paid even if it was government assistance so he got a free ride or free living expenses in Germany paid for by you, the taxpayers. No such thing as a free lunch except for Tunisian rats. If he is do perfect why is your facebook full of melancholy. Narcists, leaving you etc. Not mentioning real names here again as I did not know the rules. Also only one photo of you with him. Remember when you stalked my Fiances fsvebook before he blocked you? The honey trap I never asked for but curiously with your real profile photo at the time not that you fancied him? Sorry you are having relationship problems. Dont pretend again that profile wasnt you as a Moderator blocked my IP for days and confirmed a warning not to mention members by their real names do Minnie is not your real name. If I get blocked again for my Fiance being stalked I guess I cant answer.
Can you drop
Did he pay for his own airfare? Also sponsorhip means food utilities and accommodation which normally isnt free so you logically paid even if it was government assistance so he got a free ride or free living expenses in Germany paid for by you, the taxpayers. No such thing as a free lunch except for Tunisian rats. If he is do perfect why is your facebook full of melancholy. Narcists, leaving you etc. Not mentioning real names here again as I did not know the rules. Also only one photo of you with him. Remember when you stalked my Fiances fsvebook before he blocked you? The honey trap I never asked for but curiously with your real profile photo at the time not that you fancied him? Sorry you are having relationship problems. Dont pretend again that profile wasnt you as a Moderator blocked my IP for days and confirmed a warning not to mention members by their real names do Minnie is not your real name. If I get blocked again for my Fiance being stalked I guess I cant answer.
Pussycatz, can you stop with that and leave Minnie alone? She left you alone. Why bringing up out of the blue something that happened a month old? Let’s chill a bit and focus Instead on the real topic of this site.
 

Judithlyn

Senior Rat Expert
I also googled it and thought the same. But then I googled 'MMID syndrome' which brought me to a site called danielpipes.org... very hard to navigate, on phone at least, but absolutely littered with sadly recognisable stories about MENA rats and western women. Just shows how rife this is. For any doubters Your Mohamed Isnt Different....TLR got a couple of mentions
I have a long story on Danielpipes!!!
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
@Pussycatz
excuse me for asking you this question but i see you here day and night defend it
when do you talk to him?
Every day we have a webcam date time. And I call him anytime several times a day, seen him in paint clothes, with his mates, on his bros motorbike pillion, basically my Fiance is on 24 hr call out with me. He knows my anxiety requires this. Weve spoken every day for 3 and quarter years with no exception. There are 24 hrs in the day. I'm used to doing this with my ex husband working with him and leisure times and in those days no video calls. I suppose you thought opposite was true? Sorry to disappoint. How often do you communicate with your man? How often do you date if you are here monitoring my online time?
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Can you drop

Pussycatz, can you stop with that and leave Minnie alone? She left you alone. Why bringing up out of the blue something that happened a month old? Let’s chill a bit and focus Instead on the real topic of this site.
Well dear she never stops her insidious laughing icons on my comments and asking me questions which I answer maybe too elaborately. And I doubt if shes pregnant st her age. Her daughter is in graduation dress! Its okay for her to be rude to me, stalk my Fiance and my own Facebook and be blocked and any case she denied it was her fb so therefore I did not name a member and had my ip temporarily blocked for nothing whereas other members can poke fun, call names n yes you are right I should ignore her insidious questions.
 

Sara

Active Member
Every day we have a webcam date time. And I call him anytime several times a day, seen him in paint clothes, with his mates, on his bros motorbike pillion, basically my Fiance is on 24 hr call out with me. He knows my anxiety requires this. Weve spoken every day for 3 and quarter years with no exception. There are 24 hrs in the day. I'm used to doing this with my ex husband working with him and leisure times and in those days no video calls. I suppose you thought opposite was true? Sorry to disappoint. How often do you communicate with your man? How often do you date if you are here monitoring my online time?
ah ok ok it's because you are constantly busy here done I said to myself that it doesn't leave too much time to do something else
no I'm not watching you, I watch from time to time, sometimes in the evening, sometimes every week, and I click on 'what's up' and the only one I see a lot posted is you, a little before Noon until very late at night, and I was just wondering, when to talk to you with your friend, simple curiosity.
No, I don't have time either to "spy" on you or to be here, or even want to go elsewhere
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
Privacy hunny if u were my fb friend u would see alot more duh
Bull. I know enough about fb
Privacy hunny if u were my fb friend u would see alot more duh
Oh so that was your fb that you denied. And I dont need to be your fb friend to know when photos are put on private or know when my ip gets blocked. One of my ex friends is a systems analyst but I would want to hack your boring fb. Too busy updating my 5k followers as an independent music artist in the past I still have a following but hey your man is supposedly in Germany. Maybe you better put your abandonment break up make up stories on private too.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Well dear she never stops her insidious laughing icons on my comments and asking me questions which I answer maybe too elaborately. And I doubt if shes pregnant st her age. Her daughter is in graduation dress! Its okay for her to be rude to me, stalk my Fiance and my own Facebook and be blocked and any case she denied it was her fb so therefore I did not name a member and had my ip temporarily blocked for nothing whereas other members can poke fun, call names n yes you are right I should ignore her insidious questions.
If you don't let staff know you're being stalked etc we can't help you.

Please can you all get back on topic.

MH x
 

Sara

Active Member
Omg but what happens to you? Surveillance on Fbk, one who wants to hack, but I don't understand why you crossed the barrier of com on this site? it becomes serious if the other does not ask anything why you are mixing up your life ????
 

Pussycatz

Well-Known Member
ah ok ok it's because you are constantly busy here done I said to myself that it doesn't leave too much time to do something else
no I'm not watching you, I watch from time to time, sometimes in the evening, sometimes every week, and I click on 'what's up' and the only one I see a lot posted is you, a little before Noon until very late at night, and I was just wondering, when to talk to you with your friend, simple curiosity.
No, I don't have time either to "spy" on you or to be here, or even want to go elsewhere
Imagine writer. I type lightening fast. I'm on a writer's forum. I read biographies I am writing my own autobiography as my divorce lawyer suggested due to my ethnic minority background and but it is on hold as my life unfolds. I write lyrics and poetry published. English is my mother tongue from days of the Raj. I've a background in Admin and I'm polite in that I try and answer questions. Every one here has a story to tell and it's a learning curve. Therefore time worth spent reading.
 

minnie

Well-Known Member
Well dear she never stops her insidious laughing icons on my comments and asking me questions which I answer maybe too elaborately. And I doubt if shes pregnant st her age. Her daughter is in graduation dress! Its okay for her to be rude to me, stalk my Fiance and my own Facebook and be blocked and any case she denied it was her fb so therefore I did not name a member and had my ip temporarily blocked for nothing whereas other members can poke fun, call names n yes you are right I should ignore her insidious questions.
Hunny believe me I am I the 9th month and yes with 39 years old and now what...jealous some? Leave my kids out if this as u know nothing
 

minnie

Well-Known Member
Bull. I know enough about fb
Oh so that was your fb that you denied. And I dont need to be your fb friend to know when photos are put on private or know when my ip gets blocked. One of my ex friends is a systems analyst but I would want to hack your boring fb. Too busy updating my 5k followers as an independent music artist in the past I still have a following but hey your man is supposedly in Germany. Maybe you better put your abandonment break up make up stories on private too.
Obviously jealous of something hhhhhh
 

SouthernGirl

Well-Known Member
Well dear she never stops her insidious laughing icons on my comments and asking me questions which I answer maybe too elaborately. And I doubt if shes pregnant st her age. Her daughter is in graduation dress! Its okay for her to be rude to me, stalk my Fiance and my own Facebook and be blocked and any case she denied it was her fb so therefore I did not name a member and had my ip temporarily blocked for nothing whereas other members can poke fun, call names n yes you are right I should ignore her insidious questions.
She made a laughing icon on your comment. Big deal. Why do you even get so butthurt over that? This is childish. Ignore it. You are the one who commented on an one month old comment when she minded her business and didn’t annoy you. You asked her a question on a nagging tone, she answered you politely and you attacked her.
Also, commenting on her FB photos, her family and her private life is not nice. You’re still mad at her but why don’t you let it go instead of trying to stir sh... You had a disagreement a while ago, now it’s over but you still go see her Facebook and it sounds creepy. Stop acting immature. It’s over. Again, she’s been leaving you alone.
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
Omg but what happens to you? Surveillance on Fbk, one who wants to hack, but I don't understand why you crossed the barrier of com on this site? it becomes serious if the other does not ask anything why you are mixing up your life ????
Now this post is confusing - do we have a translater please?

MH x
 

simple

Ratslayer
Imagine writer. I type lightening fast. I'm on a writer's forum. I read biographies I am writing my own autobiography as my divorce lawyer suggested due to my ethnic minority background and but it is on hold as my life unfolds. I write lyrics and poetry published. English is my mother tongue from days of the Raj. I've a background in Admin and I'm polite in that I try and answer questions. Every one here has a story to tell and it's a learning curve. Therefore time worth spent reading.
Ive noticed that for someone who oozes confidence ,you have very low self esteem.To constanly tell us your acheivements and merits ,shows your vulnerable side..It dosnt need to be said .You dont have to proove yourself to anyone .We dont want you to get hurt and are trying our upmost to protect you ,because right now ,you cant protect yourself..
 

MH007

Administrator
Staff member
She is the one stalking...she knows my fb and I don't know hers hmmm...who stalks who here she mentions my kids my post my pics...
I wasn't accusing nor taking sides - simply saying that as an admin I want to keep everyone safe and stalking is not acceptable - any pics that threaten your safety or pictures of your children then use the report function and we will deal with it.

MH x
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top