Sand Castles, nothing was real.

Discussion in 'Online Rats' started by AmberHeart, Jul 31, 2018.

  1. Judithlyn

    Judithlyn Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I overlooked so many things, but no more! Once the ladies on here sent me PROOF, how could I mentally think good of him anymore? OMG, it was so shocking though! I stayed up an entire week screaming at him! I was devastated to my core! I believed in that asshole and loved him so deeply! Never again! I’m wiser now! I have fixed his butt so well! I giggle to myself cause I’m really not a nasty person but I fixed that moron! I just hope he tries to leave Tunisia...thanks to another lady’s generosity....I hope that I can hear the outcome of his travels (con games)!!!
     
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  2. Going for the limit

    Going for the limit Well-Known Member

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    I remember when you posted about him on the wives group judith, some of us tried to tell you this was not a normal relationship and we directed you over to here.
    My only problem that the majority thought it was all ok. Your story was the one that led me to leave that particular group.
    That group is the most brainwashed i have ever been on
    Its disgusting and shocking
     
  3. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    Ain't it crazy!!!! How on earth did they get so freakin brainwashed that they believe a thirty year age gap and the spending of feck knows how much money on an unemployed nothing is normal?!!

    When I read this stuff....I can really understand why my real life friend believes the breakdown of her bezness marriage is the breakdown of a normal marriage.....it drives me to absolute despair!
     
  4. Judithlyn

    Judithlyn Well-Known Member

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    I left that group too! I could tell that a lot of people in that group were married to or involved with rats. They did not want to see the truth! They were staunchly against anybody even slighting upsetting the Apple cart, so to speak! Yes, many seemed brainwashed! I was one for a long time! Glad to be free of all of that emotional baggage now!
     
  5. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Moderator

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    Thanks for sharing this @AmberHeart , did I read right? Did you ever go and meet him or was it planned but didn’t happen?
     
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  6. Liona

    Liona Well-Known Member

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    @AmberHeart , it's nice you get rid of this ratty story. :love:
    The rats hook vulnerable women in 99,99 % of the cases. Even when a woman is speaking about herself as a strong person ( you know all this " I am strong! I am clever"), there is always some weak spot she could not see or don't want to see. At the end of the day such experience helps to know personal value.
     
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  7. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    So his sister and brother in law are dead?
     
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  8. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Yes, what for a normal empathic person all is about how you cope with life’s issues, for rats those are windows to get advantage from.
     
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  9. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth - Staff Member

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    :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: how old are the kids?
     
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  10. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    ..... old, . Yes I asked him are you sure about this? Laws about children are very strict. And even that way I couldn’t see it was an open scam to get easier life. All the poor us stories, you know how they suffer, they need food, they don’t have chances here.... and i didn’t open eyes. Was thinking like my nphs they need to be protected. That’s all.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2018
  11. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    By the way, when the ex girlfriend told me this rat also asked her to take the siblings To live with her. :rolleyes:
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2019
  12. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    I think though, that being vulnerable is different to having a weak spot.
    My weak spot was my children....but I did not feel vulnerable....I did feel strong, I was adjusting to a new life and was happy, so although yes, I did have a weak spot, inasmuch as I would do whatever it takes to ensure my kids safety....I never saw it as a vulnerability....and I still don't, it's just parental instinct.
     
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  13. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    Yes, mine did too....but with threats :Evil:
    Aren't they absolutely vile! I really just don't know how to put into words, the anger this targeting our loved ones makes me feel :Evil:

    I had not been single since the age of fifteen, so I was really enjoying discovering this new world laid at my feet, I felt happy and peaceful....I wasn't looking for a man, I have always been incredibly sociable and friendly with everyone.....so me and you as targets, were completely different people....yet we still both became victims.
    Nobody is safe from these desperadoes :(
     
  14. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    I agree, they look for a commodity and they find chances everywhere.
     
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  15. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    I've often thought of them as young children. I used my training with autistic children to help me to deal with my rat, as they too live in their own little bubble with no empathy....without the ability to see the world through somebody else's lens.

    I often told my rat (before really researching narcissism in detail) that he reminded me in many ways of my autistic son, in terms of behaviour....the immaturity, the lack of empathy, the meltdowns etc.
    He later threw this back at me....asked if I was autistic because I'd started walking funny....it was actually because I had two verrucas on the bottom of my foot....but it showed clearly his ability to turn the tables....so suddenly I was the one at fault :rolleyes:
    These were all huge signs within that first plastic year....that I really should have paid more attention to....the signs were there all along.

    The difference between a narcissistic rat and an autistic lad....is the autistic lad does not know what he is doing, and goes on to feel remorse.....whereas with a narcissistic rat...he knows exactly what he is doing....the crime was pre meditated.....and he never feels remorse, because he refuses to accept responsibility....it's always the fault of others :rolleyes:
     
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  16. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    They even find justification like my rat said “God has been better to you than to me, you have been blessed more than me, but that’s ok, this is life” so he acted to achieve his goals solely. It can be even God’s fault. :rolleyes:
     
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  17. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Moderator

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    Ya, all the 'pity me, I have bad life, I am suffering because of my nationality, it's not fair. You are lucky, you have everything because you were born in the right country', blah, blah, blah, give me sympathy, pity me...my nationality is not my fault etc :rolleyes:
    Used to do my freakin nut in! I worked for what I have....it was not just handed to me because I am English :Evil: I got sick to death of those pathetic, pitiful tales of self woe :rolleyes:
    We had a video on here somewhere by 'The Minge' (named after the Chewbacca coat)....where he too says this crap :D
     
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  18. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Each word expressed it correctly as it is. No sugar coating, agree with you, the most important is life goes on for us too. We can and must do better. Big hug! Xx
     
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  19. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Moderator

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    Safe and responsible, yes I heard that a lot. When you come here “ I will care for you”. I will look after you” “ no reason to be afraid here” then left me alone for hours and days on end in a foreign country.
     
  20. Arkady

    Arkady Well-Known Member

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    Eye drops work too.
     
  21. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Funny thing is once we were speaking on the phone and he started a drama as usual and I couldn’t take it anymore and started crying, feeling impotence of all twisted things he was accusing me. And he inmediately said “ohhh, if you’re gonna cry then better to leave you alone. Don’t want to waste time on this” and he hung up and got lost for a week. But when he was supposedly to feel sad, depressed or worried. Sending pics or videos crying or suicide attempts I was supposed to be there 24hrs trying to cheer him up. They expect the victim to leave everything for them but they ain’t gonna waste their time. He gave me hell and humiliation. Tho I stayed having no reason for it, except the hope he would be again the person I knew at the beginning. I paid a big price for that worthless rat. Self esteem, sleep time, anxiety, stress, feeling trapped.
     
  22. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    I think they are big spoiled babies that cry whenever they don’t get their way. Turning on the tears is second nature for them. My rat cried a few times. In my culture a grown man crying in front of a woman is a sign of weakness. And who wants a weak man? It’s different in some cases. Like grieving. But little things, any man with a backbone won’t cry to his girl. I can tell you that He didn’t get the expected response. I just ignored the crying because I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed. He only tried the crying a few times. The last time he cried he told me he was crying. He’s such a wimpy guy. Needs to find himself a big man to take care of him. He definatly does not have enough man in him to take care of a woman.
     
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  23. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

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    I feel you, this is deranged behavior. I noticed that they like to bring the drama but can't handle confrontation (In other words dish it but can't take it). It's easier to slither away and hide like the cold snakes they are. Mine would do that too. I am the kind of person that is direct and blunt and if I am feeling a way about something believe me you will know it, and I don't think he was use to that. He too would disappear for days or a week in the hopes that I would forget about it and move on, but nope I brought it right back up again first chance I would get until I was satisfied. They count on us for our kindness but there isn't much that can happen if we are looking for emotional support from them, it's a one-way street with them
     
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  24. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    0D28CDA6-8BA4-4004-BDF9-D001BDCF3C83.jpeg Spot on.
     
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  25. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    1C5B494B-4304-424F-9835-BA6FB3BBCD1E.jpeg Forgive and Forget, a successful formula. Done trying to figure out if he has successfully scammed someone else. Done focusing my energy into a worthless and egoist individual, done losing sleep, he doesn’t deserve that much from me and I do not deserve to become his shadow. Hope someday Justice knocks his door and all other rats that have caused pain to their victims.
    Hope and wish all victims recover from the nightmare and find exclusively worthy people through their journey. ❤️All of you are an inspiration. Xx
     
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