Should I tell her?

kaz321

New Member
Hi everyone, I really admire the community you guys have built on here and just wanted to share something that I need some advice with please...
So I went to Tunisia back in 2018 (been a few times before). I was approached by every Male animator in sight who I politely declined. (Btw I am a British Muslim). One animator in particular wasn’t like the rest he actually just seemed friendly and wanted nothing more than a friendship which I was cool with. We spoke for most of the holiday and unlike the others he never tried anything on with me or say crude things, he actually sat with my family and I for dinner every night! Our friendship continued after I returned home and we would call every evening for hours, this went on for just over 3 months. He then told me he liked me and although I liked him back I knew nothing would come of it so yeah we just kind of came to a mutual agreement that we like each other but nothing is going to happen?? Weird when I think about it I know lol. He would say some of the sweetest things to me, like how he wishes his sister would grow up to be like me and just compliment my upbringing and deeper things like that rather than just appearance. Anyway after a couple months of talking but stating it’s just a friendship he had a really big mood on one day and basically told me that he’s upset because he wants to be with me but he doesn’t want to use or hurt me, but he knows he has to use and hurt someone to get what he needs. Me, obviously confused at this point, asked him to explain. He said he sees a real-life future with me but he wants to be able to provide for me instead of me helping him (I’d never mentioned money, marriage or anything of the sort to him but I assumed this is what he was talking about). He said that basically he needs to use somebody else to marry and get into the UK etc. someone who would be all over him and then once he got his way he could be with me here in the UK?? I was obviously angry by this and said I didn’t want to be a part of it and that I thought he was wrong for wanting to hurt somebody else. He said his family have asked him to do it so that he can have a better life outside of Tunisia and that was his whole agenda from the start when joining a hotel, just meeting me had messed that all up because he genuinely liked me and didn’t want to use me. I just felt sick and said I didn’t want to carry on a friendship with someone who thought that was acceptable and was done with it. He had my number, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat everything which was a bit of a pain but I unfollowed him from all. Recently, he popped up in my head and I searched him on Facebook and he’s only gone and married an older British lady who has kids, he’s 23 and she must be 40+ Judging by the age of her kids. They got married a year ago and I checked his Facebook and his location is in the UK, I’m worried as I don’t want him to be using some poor woman. But it’s been 2 years since me and him spoke and I don’t want to interfere in something that doesn’t concern me now. What if he genuinely likes this person? What do you guys think I should do?
 

Myriam1

Well-Known Member
Welcome here Kaz… You've done the only good thing you could do, getting this man out of your life!
He is surely a rat, but he's living his ratty life and that's not your responsibility. His victim will have to get out of the rat trap all by herself.
I think the best thing to do is absolutely nothing. There is nothing you can do.
On the other side, you can spread the word around you and warn everyone about the love rats in the world.
 

kaz321

New Member
Thanks for the warm welcome Myriam. I’m glad I had the chance to get rid of him when I did. I feel like she’s helpless too, having seen their Facebook post confirming the marriage there have been over 100 comments from mostly her family and friends congratulating her which I just find crazy! Surely some must know it is fake on his side? You’re right I should focus on spreading the word, this page really helped me see what goes on in these Tunisian men’s minds - I can’t believe how badly they have treated women and that their families encourage it :(
 

Amira

Rat Expert
You can try talking to her too, is it up to her if she wants to hear? Is not surprised that he wants to leave Tunisia. They have no rights there and of course they try to trick tourists as best they can. Actually, should it have rang a bell for her when he is only 23 years old?
 

kaz321

New Member
Thank you for the advice girls, I appreciate it. I dropped her a message on Fb just explaining what he had told me in the past and she was very hostile, told me I just wanted to steal her man and made me out to be a psycho ex! She said that he has already told her about me and that she’s not worried. She also called me a little girl, jokes on her because I’m pretty much the same age as her husband lol.
I’m not surprised as I presumed she has already fallen for his trap. She’s led me to believe he’s here in the UK living with her now which is worrying. At least some guilt has been taken off my mind but I can’t help but think what he has planned for her.
I looked into my Facebook message requests and found a message off him around 8 months ago asking how I am... can’t even be bothered to tell her he’s tried to contact me since they’ve been married as she’ll probably make it out to be my fault
 

Amira

Rat Expert
Thank you for the advice girls, I appreciate it. I dropped her a message on Fb just explaining what he had told me in the past and she was very hostile, told me I just wanted to steal her man and made me out to be a psycho ex! She said that he has already told her about me and that she’s not worried. She also called me a little girl, jokes on her because I’m pretty much the same age as her husband lol.
I’m not surprised as I presumed she has already fallen for his trap. She’s led me to believe he’s here in the UK living with her now which is worrying. At least some guilt has been taken off my mind but I can’t help but think what he has planned for her.
I looked into my Facebook message requests and found a message off him around 8 months ago asking how I am... can’t even be bothered to tell her he’s tried to contact me since they’ve been married as she’ll probably make it out to be my fault
Then just wish her luck she will need it I think.
 

kaz321

New Member
My animator said that his friends do bezness and he doesn't want to lol...
he said he wanted me to be his wife. I said may be okay but we can't live in my city. And my animator disappeared. We all have our own way of opening our eyes
They really do try and make out that they are different to the rest! I did have a good friendship with him but his true intentions were shown, whether that be to hurt me or someone else. Glad you are out of your situation Nivia
 
Hi everyone, I really admire the community you guys have built on here and just wanted to share something that I need some advice with, please...
So I went to Tunisia back in 2018 (been a few times before). I was approached by every Male animator in sight who I politely declined. (Btw I am a British Muslim). One animator, in particular, wasn’t like the rest he actually just seemed friendly and wanted nothing more than a friendship which I was cool with. We spoke for most of the holiday and unlike the others, he never tried anything on with me or say crude things, he actually sat with my family and me
Hi everyone, I really admire the community you guys have built on here and just wanted to share something that I need some advice with please...
So I went to Tunisia back in 2018 (been a few times before). I was approached by every Male animator in sight who I politely declined. (Btw I am a British Muslim). One animator in particular wasn’t like the rest he actually just seemed friendly and wanted nothing more than a friendship which I was cool with. We spoke for most of the holiday and unlike the others he never tried anything on with me or say crude things, he actually sat with my family and I for dinner every night! Our friendship continued after I returned home and we would call every evening for hours, this went on for just over 3 months. He then told me he liked me and although I liked him back I knew nothing would come of it so yeah we just kind of came to a mutual agreement that we like each other but nothing is going to happen?? Weird when I think about it I know lol. He would say some of the sweetest things to me, like how he wishes his sister would grow up to be like me and just compliment my upbringing and deeper things like that rather than just appearance. Anyway after a couple months of talking but stating it’s just a friendship he had a really big mood on one day and basically told me that he’s upset because he wants to be with me but he doesn’t want to use or hurt me, but he knows he has to use and hurt someone to get what he needs. Me, obviously confused at this point, asked him to explain. He said he sees a real-life future with me but he wants to be able to provide for me instead of me helping him (I’d never mentioned money, marriage or anything of the sort to him but I assumed this is what he was talking about). He said that basically he needs to use somebody else to marry and get into the UK etc. someone who would be all over him and then once he got his way he could be with me here in the UK?? I was obviously angry by this and said I didn’t want to be a part of it and that I thought he was wrong for wanting to hurt somebody else. He said his family have asked him to do it so that he can have a better life outside of Tunisia and that was his whole agenda from the start when joining a hotel, just meeting me had messed that all up because he genuinely liked me and didn’t want to use me. I just felt sick and said I didn’t want to carry on a friendship with someone who thought that was acceptable and was done with it. He had my number, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat everything which was a bit of a pain but I unfollowed him from all. Recently, he popped up in my head and I searched him on Facebook and he’s only gone and married an older British lady who has kids, he’s 23 and she must be 40+ Judging by the age of her kids. They got married a year ago and I checked his Facebook and his location is in the UK, I’m worried as I don’t want him to be using some poor woman. But it’s been 2 years since me and him spoke and I don’t want to interfere in something that doesn’t concern me now. What if he genuinely likes this person? What do you guys think I should do?
STAY AWAY!
 
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