Social Networking Rats

Discussion in 'Online Rats' started by alAzima, Jan 21, 2009.

  1. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    Christmas can be a lovely time to reconnect with family and friends but it can also be a horrible time when losses are felt so much more.

    My dad died when I was young and Christmas changed from then. Always someone missing from the table and with it an added responsibility to look after my mum and somehow fill the gap for her. I think losing a mum is different. They often hold the family together. I’m really sorry for your loss. Men find it harder to be alone and often fill the loss more quickly. Maybe he feels a mixture of guilt and regret and spending Christmas with you is a reminder of that. In my opinion, men compartmentalise their feelings and move on easier. They are avoidant of emotions which hurt.

    When I was first alone kind friends invited me at Christmas but to be honest I didn’t like being a visitor at someone else’s Christmas. Each family had their own different way of celebrating and I felt like a spare part. I’ve chosen to spend many christmases alone, preferring New Year. I have a few other single friends and we have made our own Christmas traditions and I’m more comfortable with that. You are young and lovely and will soon have your own family and you can make Christmas traditions of your own. In time you will meet the person you can do that with.
     
  2. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    It is hard to adjust from being a complete family to being separate at the holidays. I spent my first Christmas with a friend and her family. It helped to be around her younger brothers and sisters, but I did feel out of place. I had an old high school friend invite me to his home this year, but I know he really likes me and wants to date me. I thought that would be awkward to be with his family if I don’t have the same feelings for him as he has for me. I definitely don’t want to give him or his family the wrong impression so I decided not to go.
    This year I’m just not into the Christmas spirit.
     
  3. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    Thank you. I try not to understand my dad. He made bad choices. He left my mom for a woman 21 years younger than him just before she died and now he’s in his 50’s with two daughters under two. I would like to spend more time with my little sisters, but their mom doesn’t like me around so I will find things to do on my own.
    This year I am feeling more anger than self pity. It just came over me so fast, I’m never like this it is like I’m not me at all.
    2018 has been a hard year emotionally.
    2919 has to be better.
     
    Mango Chutney and AmberHeart like this.
  4. Mystery

    Mystery Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear your going through all this.
    This time of year seems to bring out the emotions and anger is one of them.
    It's better to rant on here than keep it bottled up.
    I wish you all the love and best wishes for 2019
    We will get through all this and be a better stronger person for it all.
    Time is a great healer so I been told.
    You will get through this and look forward to the future.
     
    Brasilgirl, AmberHeart and Arkady like this.
  5. Brasilgirl

    Brasilgirl Well-Known Member

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    Thank you.** hug ** Knowing what you have being going through makes my problems seem so small. I feel bad complaining when so many other victims have literally went through hell. But it is this forum that make me want to keep going. I hope your life gets better too.
    It’s only a few more weeks and I’ll be back at university. I’m just taking it day by day through the holiday season.
     
  6. Arkady

    Arkady Well-Known Member

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    Watching them spank the monkey.
     

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