To get out of an abusive relationship/marriage is not an easy desission. Questions and doubts flows through the head, Is it me Who are wrong? Is it me WHO do not under stand? Am I not trust him? Life with a rat's like living on top of a volcano. It smoulders under legs all the time. We never know when the next outbreak comes. Will it be just smoke? Or will it be glowing lava? Demands increase and increase. Accusations that you do nothing. Unable to obtain visas. It's your fault. You have not done enough. Nor will you invest in his country. The days become chaos. It's like playing with a scorpion. You never know when it strikes. Conversations can start as normal conversations, like some love bombing. It is dear and beloved, but before you know it the eruption of the volcano comes. Sneaky statements indicating that he is considering to end the relationship. Direct statements about divorce. Because you do not understand, do not love enough, not willing to give. This game is usually a night game. Getting online 02.00 and go on two early morning. That's the game. To live in this uncertainty, being manipulated and being deprived of sleep is a known maneuver to break down a human. This tactic is used in warfare and torture. Manipulation and use of this method is extremely damaging to the victims. And rats using the method ruthlessly. You must be very strong to stand up and fight back. It as a process where one often sees reality. We know inside that you are being exploited and manipulated. But the doubt is there. It is a battle between emotion, desire that we should be wrong and reason which says how reality is. But know that when alarm bells ringing. When our inner voice says that it is something that is totally wrong this voice true. A manipulator and abuser wild not change. A manipulator and abuser are never satisfied. Will never get enough. Much will always want more !! He will slowly but surely break you down both mentally and physically. Suck you empty. And when there is no more to take, he move on and left you in ruin. When the alarm bells ringing. Listen! You are not crazy. It's not you it's faulty. It's hard to have to throw in the towel and go. Difficult to admit that what many warned indeed was right. He wanted money and visas. There was no love from his side. But lift your head !! Be strong. Once the initial pain has subsided so one would never return. And it is as a stone is taken away from the shoulders.