Stereotypes, understanding and self love

Discussion in 'Online Rats' started by Gabrielaali, Nov 18, 2016.

  1. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    Im from Mexico and im feeling a little bad for blocking my friend from facebook... he was nice...

    I mean i was panicked when i read all the terror stories about rats and sociopaths, but i really feel bad because i was not sure, i also read histories about 4 - 8 years marriages, how can someone pretend for that long, and well im from a poor country, he knows i lost my job and that i need money for the rent, and he was friendly, i mean, im not a 70 year old widowed rich woman, and im not naive because my ex is a narcissist sociopath...

    I think that its normal to be aware, but i do think that, we dont know how is to be a tunisian, as english people dont know how is to be a mexican, i really understand that feeling, i dont like mexican men, lately i was so desperate to leave this country that i started to look an european man, i mean, i was looking for a better life, but my feelings are real, i really think, it is possible to find love outside here, of course, on my behalf i will not date a very old man, but it was the possiblity if he treat me well, and care about me, whats the difference? i know somoe of this rats are narcisssit people without feelings, but really people, one thing is to chat with a woman and idealize her thru chat and other thing is to leave your country and start living in other country, arabs suffers for discrimination all over the world, im a "white" mexican, but i know what it is to be a mexican in US or Europe...

    Why you blame this people, for real... it is not possible that a 60 year old woman fell in love with a 20 year old in a week, then she let him to manipulate her for money and gifts... each person in this world is different, and maybe tunisia have a man whore pattern, but its common sense, i was for 5 years in a relationship like this with a guy from my own town... he used me because i let him.... and even sociopaths are wounded people, lost child inside an adult...

    There are people looking for better future, life is short, and there are people who can appreciate help and be grateful... i know because if i meet a european guy to get out of here i will be gratefull and make my best to love him... but willing sometimes is not enough...

    I do think all humans have feelings, maybe sociopahts dont, but i dont think all tunisian people are sociopaths, as not all english people have cold hearts and dont know how to dance, not all american girls are dumb, not al brasilian girls are sexy, not all japanese girls are submissive, not all african people are poor and starving, not all dubai people are rich af, not all spanish people likes bull torture, not all mexican use sombrero and drink tequila...

    I miss my friend, and i think that i rushed my desicion...
    Anyways, every history is different, i do want to believe not all people in tunisia are rats, you dnt know how is to live in with 400 euro month, i do, you dont know how it feels discrimination, you dont know how if feels men/women in your own country didnt feel the void, you dont know how it feels to be judged by your own religion (to have the perfect good familia)... so, im not saying what this people do its right, im just saying, trust yourself, because this is a lesson for youself, to be empathic with humans, but first of all be empathic with yourself, if they used you to the point you lost all your savings, its because you let him, and you enjoyed that feeling, let you feel alive again, and loved... make you understand that you need to feel like that again by your own, and not being naive and pathetic... the lesson is love yourself you dont need anyone....

    And yes, i do believe there are people out there that dont care about age or race or looks...
    It make me feel so idiot, to generalize people and feed those stupid sterotypes...

    So you know now, not al mexican men are macho
    there are good men also
     
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  2. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    I understand the doubts you are having now. You blocked him on impulse and like many people here I also blocked and unblocked mine many times.

    I'm not clear @Gabrielaali what it is you hoped for in this online relationship? Did you hope he might come to Mexico to be with you at some point? Did you think you might want to go to Tunisia? You have said Mexico is also a poor country. It's sounds like actually meeting together would be very difficult and beyond your finances for bith of you.

    If you were content with an online relationship with little prospect of every meeting then really it does not matter if he is a rat or not. Provided you don't part with any money and you can cope with him having many other online relationships. You liked him and miss him that normal.

    If you were really hoping it would lead to a long term relationship and you might be together in Tunisia or Mexico then its best you have as much knowledge and information as possible. How you have met is a common way for Tunisian men to meet women, they often have multiple on line relationships. Many hope it will leave to a golden ticket to the west and they can be whoever they want to be on line.

    So you should consider if you want fact or possible fiction. People can still become very dependant on relationships they make on line, an escape from day to day life, possibly it's the same for him?

    So only you can decide what is important to you. If you are happy with just online, little prospect of meeting and being one of many then carry on talking with him. Of course you risk being hurt and upset and being easily replaced but that's the risk you take. You were happy with your two year on line relationship with the Romanian guy but you replaced him with the Tunisian guy. That's what happens in online relationships, they are easy to start and end. If you can cope with this then no harm continuing.

    Only you know what your true hopes are.
     
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  3. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    I can´t believe this shit :rolleyes:
     
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  4. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    Thanks Laura por reply, im actually have no expectations from this, and im "using" his compliments to foreget about my exboyfriend (real relationship not online) and it helped me a lot, i can feel he is unexperienced, mean in a real relationship and real talk and detected he tried once to manipulate me as a little child when i said we will be just only friends, i talk straight and told him all about the information i got from here, that im not naive and that i dont believe in non phisical love and romance, as i mentioned before, that we could be friends only. I have to admit that, i like to read what he says to me, and the attention, i mean why to lie?, my time is so precious and i really appreciate that he takes a lot of his time talking to me, of course i know as a codependant woman that i cant allow him to control my feelings, or my mood, and if i dont want to answer inmediatly, i dont have to.

    I learnt the lesson.

    i had a "best friend" and im sure she envy my life because i had a good looking boyfriend, and she never had one because her skin problem, she always talk about her arab boyfriend and that he will visit her, and deep inside me i feel so sorry for her, i ever knew he was not real, but she wanted so bad to believe... i know this will not lead to anything, but im trying to be optimistic this time, he knows i will not give him a dime, ever, and in the other hand, before we chat, i was planning to travel, and now Tunisia seems to be a good place to visit, so maybe ill took his offer about not paying a hotel and staying there, and have an adventure together, i mean after all the suffering, i deserve attention and a good looking guy like him, after all, learn about other cultures and travel to other countries, make you wiser and open...

    And NO, i not happy with online relationships, i dont like to feed an illusion, i had a boyfriend before in Romania and other "boyfriend" in Andorra a smal country inside Spain, and nothing happened but we are still friends...

    My hopes are so limited now, because i know about the red flags, i mean not only for the love rats, also for the junkies, the sociopaths, the narcisists, and the submisive lack of courage men as my first husband, i mean maybe its me also, im a codependant borderline...

    All of us have our past and our demons, and need to accept our faults too, its super easy to blame others for our stupid behaviour...
    I dont know if ill block him in the future, i mean he just sent me a message on instagram, saying that he is sad about it, and he understand.

    And yes this kind of relationships are so adictive, because are a scape from reality, as drugs, as alcohol, as sex, ilusions, make us feel lighter, hope, the new toy is so interesting, its platonic, its perfect.

    i think that there are moments i our lives that we need to scape from reality to be safe... i m sucidal.

    So.. well... i failed, i accept it, i gave too much in the past and destroyed my life, i wont, im more selfish now.
    Now im thinking, well... maybe he is a rat... ill use him to feel better...
    As mature and experienced women we should dont take this too personal...

    This subject or social behaviour are so much complex than just money minded people and poor women being lied...
    No ladies, no, stop being the victims
    (religion, poverty, sterotypes, american dream, childhood issues, war conflicts, tabu, education, west-east, law, white supremacy, insecurities etc)

    As the song says:

    Sweet dreams are made of this
    Who am I to disagree?
    I travel the world
    And the seven seas,
    Everybody's looking for something.
    Some of them want to use you
    Some of them want to get used by you
    Some of them want to abuse you
    Some of them want to be abused.

    :D
     
  5. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    You can blame all love rats in the world and make fun of them, but they will not ever be responsible for what you decided, no one puts you a gun in your head to take your money, being son naive at 50 or 60 years old its all your responsability and being bitter and mad with all men in the world will not change a thing or what pathetic you was back then... so, if you think im talking bs, i dont give a f.

    You people just focusing i yourselves, being as same as selfish as rats.
     
  6. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    And no, i had a virtual relationship with the Romanian for a few months, then i meet a guy from California and he took a plane to meet me and we had a 5 year relationship in real life... which is over now, recently... so i do believe it possible... a nightmare.... but possible... in fact...lol
     
  7. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    Better start taking your own advice ;)
     
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  8. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    Whatever, you are pointing out the less important here
    bet you are a high middle class European old lady angry with your extremely young minority poor rat for washing your brain and breaking your heart, okay
    do you want me to feel sorry for you?
    i can do that
     
  9. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    2mh5yj8.gif
     
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  10. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    WTF???? i did a research and the minimun wage in tunisia is 150 euro MONTH, but of course they are rats...
    The system is fucked, please when you survive and support a family with those salaries talk about good and wrong, who is the victim and who is not...
     
  11. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    I wish I had chocolate. Ate all the fudge last night. I think I´ll make brownies :love:
     
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  12. Tasmin

    Tasmin Active Member

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    Does your guy work? Mine worked in Tunisia but never gave his family a penny,because the males are spoilt children all their lives.yes im 60 and my husband next month 32,and I was thinking like you.he's poor,I can help him in life.he will be GRATEFUL!!!!! He's here now and mean with his money and so much the opposite of grateful.go to Tunisia,have your adventure,and just wait for the personality change.if he's good and true.well don't you found a genuine one.its your decision.
     
  13. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    Oh @Gabrielaali I was kinda feeling a little sorry for you and giving you the benefit of my considerable doubt, but ooooh noooo don't talk to our @Heidi like that. You don't know what you will unleash and she always has our back.
     
  14. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    lollol324.gif
     
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  15. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    Well i have some news from your Love Heidi hope you like what he said, ill attach a screenshot

    And anyways, thanks god im not that stupid anymore, but not just because that i believed in my ex boyfriend and we tried and failed, i will spread hate and talking shit about people you dont know, and making fun of others, didnt you read the happy endings with tunisians??? maybe those women are not super bitter...

    @laura 2014, excuse moi, feeling sorry for me???? you are here feeding hate since 2012, because you feel fooled and lied by a foreing man that could be your grandson to move on from your lack of self worth, really???? lf that makes you feel less cheated and used, be my guest

    Its not my fault god made you this way, you should accept the fact, not everyone are you, and not everyone is so bloody naive, and not every one believes that european woman are superior, what, are you trying to be, a rat martyr????

    Simple as this, there is ZERO sane judgement in your heads when you expect unconditional love from those muslim men that could be your sons or grandsons, i dont get it really, sorry but thats not make any sense, you should stop transmuting your sad fate and hate to others.

    One thing are advices, facts, empathy and informatinon, and other is talking poison.

    You bought love, then you recieved love, a fair deal.

    Just imagine yourselves as when you are in your 20's:
    did you really died for licking and smelling a pair of 70 year old man balls for love???
     

    Attached Files:

  16. Gabrielaali

    Gabrielaali New Member

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    Guys i bet you spend 150 euro in bs, in half a day, its more pathetic you refuse to accept the reality, and blame a super poor, muslim, ignorant young prostitute of your lack of common sense...
     
  17. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    aaaah, Deej Mimo :D https://www.facebook.com/wael.sahli.52?fref=ts

    10933865_879419718769432_7499408727354842227_n.jpg

    äpo.JPG

    ugly.PNG

    Nope, my rat is dead. You could say, it was a mercy killing ;)
     
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  18. Liona

    Liona Well-Known Member

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    Dear @Gabrielaali , to say truth I can't understand why did you get angry suddenly. You have asked an advice and you have received it. Everyone tried to give you the information which could be helpful ("who owns the information, owns the world"). I did not see something not polite towards you in the answers. And what will be further depends only from you. It's you will decide how to deal with your boyfriend.
    May be your friend is generous guy. Why not?
    But now you just know something more about another side of such an acquaintances.
     
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  19. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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  20. Sun rise

    Sun rise Well-Known Member

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    I think you really have a mental problem! You came on this site yourself asking the opinion of other people. Than you turn around suddenly and start acting like this. I'm will not react on all judgements you are having about us. Because were the only ones knowing the truth about ourselfs. I wish you good luck.
     
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  21. Heidi

    Heidi The Sleuth

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    It´s a troll :D
     
  22. Mango Chutney

    Mango Chutney Well-Known Member

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    I can't even be bothered to read this entire thread. You came here for help and advice, we gave you help and advice....and you've gotten nasty with us. I am not in my fifties or sixties, I didn't give my rat money, I refused to get him a visa, the consequences of that refusal can be see on my rats main thread, I am not bitter. If you consciously choose to become rat fodder, against our advice, then go for it, it's your life, ruin it if you want. Don't forget, you have a moral responsibility as a mother to keep your little boy safe. Enjoy rat life.....pop your seatbelt on...it's quite a ride.
     
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  23. Tiger

    Tiger Well-Known Member

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    @Gabrielaali You clime you are NOT stupid or naiv. Let me tell you, YOU really are! First of all you post a picture here on this open forum to "prove" you are not as you cal it "old, ugly and bitter" Going like this like you "showing of your goddis" is the most naiv action i seen on this page for a long time.
    You go on talking how all people want a better life!! And that it is totally ok to use another person from another richer country to do so. Then you also make a big talk about how we western people who can use 150 Euro in a blink of an eye not know or can understand how you poor people feel and that is totally ok to have marriage and relationships to gain your dream about money and fortune.
    Let me tell you there is only one way to get a better life and that is to get your lazy latino ass up and WORK for it!!
    I really think you should unblock your Tunisian love rat and go on with your utopia dream. You and him will be a perfect match.
    Tunisia and Mexico.....well...same shit, same attitude, just different countries.
    USA have just elected a new president. One of his priorities is to build a wall between USA and Mexico. It is a reason so many voted for him and support this action.
    So dont come here and talk about bitter women. You do not know anything. You are naiv. And believe me. You are not talking to an old, ugly and bitter woman now.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2016
  24. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    You are mistaken @Gabrielaali , I've just been peddling hate since 2014 not 2012.

    But you mistake me for someone who gives a shite....
    You and your rats deserve each other.... enjoy while he occupied and wasting his time with you he's hopefully not bothering someone else.
     
  25. Western Bride

    Western Bride Active Member

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    I've always wondered how Tunisians always manage to create mess and conflicts around them.
    Rats of course...

    As for Gabriella, good luck, but I actually doubt the Tunisian guy gets a flight to Mexico...
     

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