The aftermath ...

Ariel

Under the Sea
Joined
Sep 30, 2011
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0
Mrs Nutty ..your obviously the healthiest one of the lot !! ,,cocao BEAN is a veg ,sugar BEETS or sugar CANE .is a plant ,so there fore chocolate is a vegetable and part of your 5 a day !! Those left over knickers and empty bottles are a problem,no room for wheelie bin is there !!
It's because we are being authentically Tunisian :whistle::D
 

crystal

The Punchy Scot
Joined
Oct 26, 2010
Messages
3,820
It's because we are being authentically Tunisian :whistle::D
One of the hardest parts of it all for me is the knowledge that my rat continues on as if nothing as happened. His life is unaffected by his actions.

Me Too BG...In my life...I did not believe I could be as angry or capable of the angry feelings that well up....when I see him...living the life scott free...but believe me not for long... by hook or by crook.. he will be stopped...literally
 

ExNorway

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 22, 2013
Messages
1,302
Oh You wonderful ladies I will come to simpel ..- and I am a vegan lol

Thx to You all I am staying with my ignore/ delete strategy and I must say this was a new one:

My rat sent me an e Mail and said he recived some papers ... The thing is this papers are not sent yet ... So how could he recive Them ? Lol and Then he asks to wich adress he should return Them with his signature. Funny ! But also I am also desperate to Get this divorce DONE, and its already Been to long.

Thx for the St John herb tip its a good one midnigth sun!
xxx staying alive xxx stay gold !
 

Caramel

Clairvoyante !!
Joined
Sep 4, 2009
Messages
3,946
Oh You wonderful ladies I will come to simpel ..- and I am a vegan lol

Thx to You all I am staying with my ignore/ delete strategy and I must say this was a new one:

My rat sent me an e Mail and said he recived some papers ... The thing is this papers are not sent yet ... So how could he recive Them ? Lol and Then he asks to wich adress he should return Them with his signature. Funny ! But also I am also desperate to Get this divorce DONE, and its already Been to long.

Thx for the St John herb tip its a good one midnigth sun!
xxx staying alive xxx stay gold !
I was watching Body of Proof, a medical drama series today and it said St Johns Wort can eliminate drugs from your body, so please be careful if you are taking any other medication.
 

Caramel

Clairvoyante !!
Joined
Sep 4, 2009
Messages
3,946
True you need to make your doctor aware, if you are taking any other Meds.
I would also go on a website called Drug Interaction and put in all the medication you are taking with St John's Wort and see what comes up but doctor's advice is the best as Marilyna said.
 

crystal

The Punchy Scot
Joined
Oct 26, 2010
Messages
3,820
I would also go on a website called Drug Interaction and put in all the medication you are taking with St John's Wort and see what comes up but doctor's advice is the best as Marilyna said.
Yes you do have to be careful..esssential oils. herbals, flower remedies. plants, supplements like St Johns Wort are very potent,strong. You can't take a lot of alternative medicines along with everyday meds. They can cancel each other out.
 

Poppy13

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
84
Hay girls good afternoon to you all, my mind has been paying tricks with me today ...so wish I was Woking , it's my day off . Can not get my act together , my rat phoned me last night I didn't answer it , then he texted me saying ..babs ru ok what's happen u ok ...I so wanted to answer him back but didn't ...if it was an English guy they would just give up .....if I answer. And put my cards on the table he might just under stand then he will leave me alone ?????? X
 

simple

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,061
Hay girls good afternoon to you all, my mind has been paying tricks with me today ...so wish I was Woking , it's my day off . Can not get my act together , my rat phoned me last night I didn't answer it , then he texted me saying ..babs ru ok what's happen u ok ...I so wanted to answer him back but didn't ...if it was an English guy they would just give up .....if I answer. And put my cards on the table he might just under stand then he will leave me alone ?????? X
If you contact him ,then you will have to start forgetting from the begining .If you hear his voice ,it may be the end of you !!!He wont understand your confusion and swear and promise you that he is different !!!Its hard for you now and it will be even harder if you talk to him..Please dont make excuses to yourself by phoning him to tell him again its over ...Youve said it once ,enough !!You owe him nothing else !!! You had the decency to say its over ...Just try and keep yourself busy !!! sending you a hug xxx
 

Midnight sun

SILLY
Joined
Aug 24, 2012
Messages
111
Of course, everybody should always read instructions before buying meds and supplements. The best is to do a research in advance and talk with your doctor/pharmacist.
 

Galadriel

Globe Trotter Extraordinaire
Joined
Jan 8, 2011
Messages
2,907
Very often a GP will not have details of counterindications of herbal/supplemental products with pharmaceutical prescripted products SO if this needs to be considered please talk to a qualified herbalist of which there are many, before making purchase. Pharmacists do not even have complete information of the products they sell.
 

CUDDLE

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2011
Messages
2,242
Poppy....

Dont pick up the phone....in order to move on, you have to ignore all his attempts at contact.....The 'rat' is just too good at getting under your skin again...

Also when you are tempted to think about your time together (and we all do it).....recall all the bad things dont just think of good things and if you make a list pretty soon you will see the bad list outweighs the good one....

Keep busy and stay strong....Together we will defeat these rats !!
 

Amber

oo la la ;)
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
1,295
Poppy....

Dont pick up the phone....in order to move on, you have to ignore all his attempts at contact.....The 'rat' is just too good at getting under your skin again...

Also when you are tempted to think about your time together (and we all do it).....recall all the bad things dont just think of good things and if you make a list pretty soon you will see the bad list outweighs the good one....

Keep busy and stay strong....Together we will defeat these rats !!
Exactly ! You will feel very confident and proud of yourself if you cut all contact with him.there 's nothing to win in talking to him.Be strong.
I invite you to read the wallah's " copying strategy thread" , it is very important to stick to the site for a long while, it makes all the difference and will help you not to yield....come here anytime you feel weak .

Sending you encouragment thoughts.
 

Tigerlilly

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 2, 2013
Messages
163
Poppy....

Dont pick up the phone....in order to move on, you have to ignore all his attempts at contact.....The 'rat' is just too good at getting under your skin again...

Also when you are tempted to think about your time together (and we all do it).....recall all the bad things dont just think of good things and if you make a list pretty soon you will see the bad list outweighs the good one....

Keep busy and stay strong....Together we will defeat these rats !!
great advice... I will take this, even though its so hard..how long does it take to accept the fact that the man you loved was not the person you thought they were. That they lied, cheated and robbed you. It really sucks :(
 

marilyna

Chocolate Connoisseur
Joined
Dec 14, 2010
Messages
4,137
Hay girls good afternoon to you all, my mind has been paying tricks with me today ...so wish I was Woking , it's my day off . Can not get my act together , my rat phoned me last night I didn't answer it , then he texted me saying ..babs ru ok what's happen u ok ...I so wanted to answer him back but didn't ...if it was an English guy they would just give up .....if I answer. And put my cards on the table he might just under stand then he will leave me alone ?????? X
Poppy, please read Wallah's post on the coping strategy

http://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/possible-coping-stratagy.2521/
 

Caramel

Clairvoyante !!
Joined
Sep 4, 2009
Messages
3,946
great advice... I will take this, even though its so hard..how long does it take to accept the fact that the man you loved was not the person you thought they were. That they lied, cheated and robbed you. It really sucks :(
Getting over a rat takes a very long time, especially if you were relieved of your finances. I am over mine now after 4 years but I still ask myself why? Why did I believe he loved me? Why this, why that? It goes on and on but if they haven't damage you financially, you will get over the hurt a lot more quickly. Most can cope with the emotional side.
 

marilyna

Chocolate Connoisseur
Joined
Dec 14, 2010
Messages
4,137
great advice... I will take this, even though its so hard..how long does it take to accept the fact that the man you loved was not the person you thought they were. That they lied, cheated and robbed you. It really sucks :(
There is no timetable when you are grieving, I believe you will get over it at some point, wish I could tell you when.
 

wallah

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 28, 2009
Messages
1,704
There is no timetable when you are grieving, I believe you will get over it at some point, wish I could tell you when.
You MUST get over it! For God's sake, they take most things off of you during the so called relationship - don't give them the final satisfaction of taking your future happiness as well. Maybe you can never forget or forgive and I don't blame anyone for that, but you can go forward carrying those feelings without bitterness -- it is just acceptance of what has happened. Accept it - grieve for what you thought you had and then show the scum what he has lost! I wish all you ladies who have been so badly hurt and let down, the happy future that you deserve. xx
 

Amber

oo la la ;)
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
1,295
You MUST get over it! For God's sake, they take most things off of you during the so called relationship - don't give them the final satisfaction of taking your future happiness as well. Maybe you can never forget or forgive and I don't blame anyone for that, but you can go forward carrying those feelings without bitterness -- it is just acceptance of what has happened. Accept it - grieve for what you thought you had and then show the scum what he has lost! I wish all you ladies who have been so badly hurt and let down, the happy future that you deserve. xx
You are right Wallah ...i think we are all getting over it at different rythms according to our psychological profile, type of story ( marriage or not , duration ,children , financial losses or not , etc ...)...During the so called relationship most women do not suffer so much , denial and "story telling"work as protections...the big hurt comes with the awakening and the consequences on mental and physical health for at least one year or so ...
You can't hurry the healing process but you can decide not to stay a victim and become the "decider" of your own recovery , step by step , accepting the inevitable ups and downs ...According to me , the best thing is to cut contact with the scum and let the past go ... we have nothing to show or prove to the rat but to ourselves , respect ourselves and the time and way we need to do things bearing in mind what Browngirl said in her first post : everything passes ! whether you want it or not , good and bad in life , everything passes!

What we need is trust/faith in the future and patience. Being back to self and inner freedom and peace is long ...i think we need to lie fallow for a while and then lovely things start to happen again!

Best thoughts to the healing ones
 

MacCoinneach

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 19, 2012
Messages
894
I know I'm a bit slow in getting involved with this thread, but I think it's a really important one. I've not been using the site so much lately - it seems a quiet Summer to me??!!! But still, it's early! Anyway, I know a lot of my friends would just consider if this happened to me it's 'just a break-up', not taking into consideration any of the underlying circumstances - which I agree, unless you have experienced them first hand, you probably don't quite understand it, and besides that, everybody deals with things in different ways. Nevertheless, there are quite clearly girls/women on here who will make mistakes (possibly including me!), regardless of all you lovely ladies making an effort to show them how 'blinded' they are, but I think the most important thing is to remember what this site is about - I don't think any of you are 'bitter' or 'jealous', or any of the other ridiculous things I have seen written, just trying to look out for others, and give them the relevant support when things do go wrong.

I wouldn't wish any of the things these rats do, upon my worst enemy. Absolutely nobody deserves it.

As per what...
Best thoughts to the healing ones
xxx
 

simple

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2011
Messages
7,061
I know I'm a bit slow in getting involved with this thread, but I think it's a really important one. I've not been using the site so much lately - it seems a quiet Summer to me??!!! But still, it's early! Anyway, I know a lot of my friends would just consider if this happened to me it's 'just a break-up', not taking into consideration any of the underlying circumstances - which I agree, unless you have experienced them first hand, you probably don't quite understand it, and besides that, everybody deals with things in different ways. Nevertheless, there are quite clearly girls/women on here who will make mistakes (possibly including me!), regardless of all you lovely ladies making an effort to show them how 'blinded' they are, but I think the most important thing is to remember what this site is about - I don't think any of you are 'bitter' or 'jealous', or any of the other ridiculous things I have seen written, just trying to look out for others, and give them the relevant support when things do go wrong.

I wouldn't wish any of the things these rats do, upon my worst enemy. Absolutely nobody deserves it.

As per what...

xxx
Definition of a victim;" A person who has come to feel helpless and passive ,in the face of missfortune or ill treatment " A victim of crime ,,a victim of hoax !! Its in the oxford dictionary ,,,,Its quite a traumatic experience and some can never recover from it ,,
 

Poppy13

Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
84
Hi girls, you can recover by just brushing your self Down, say hay o I got. Involved. With a bastard . I am better than him take the bull by the horns and learn to love your self again and say to your self I am better than him and the hell I endured , I am a survivor and life dose go on xxxx
 

Amber

oo la la ;)
Joined
Feb 4, 2012
Messages
1,295
Hi girls, you can recover by just brushing your self Down, say hay o I got. Involved. With a bastard . I am better than him take the bull by the horns and learn to love your self again and say to your self I am better than him and the hell I endured , I am a survivor and life dose go on xxxx
Yes Poppy ,strong and self condident women know that but however it doesn't prevent them from going through hell and all need much time to recover !
We are all different ...the important thing this thread highlights is that some women never recover and even takes their lives away committing direct or indirect suicide ... Bezness generates very serious health and mental damage far beyond words...the stronger you are , you will never be the same ,life doesn't go on the same when it comes to relationships with men just as an example ...
 
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