to the ones who are in realtionships...

Discussion in 'Ben's Corner' started by uk_girl2012, Sep 6, 2011.

  1. uk_girl2012

    uk_girl2012 New Member

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    hi all ok so i was thinking last night bout some stuff. and i was wondering to all of u that are in realtionships with a tunisan guy what do u think of this site? and also how do you know your tunisan lover is not a tlr?? are you not worried that when yous are not with them they are doin the same thing that alot of the girls on are saying there exes have done to them? just curious. ie...people that live in different countries whiles there bf in tunisa? has anyone met there tunisan bf online??
     
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  2. crazypink

    crazypink The Muslim One!

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    I did not meet my husband on-line nor was he working in the tourist industry. We met through friends. I have never doubted him in any way. Even before he came to the UK i trusted him totally and still do.

    If alarm bells are ringing then they are doing so for a reason. If you cant trust the man you are with - what is the point???
     
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  3. Tunisianbelle

    Tunisianbelle 'Don't call me Darling!' Mod Staff Member

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    I like this site. I think it serves a very useful purpose of making women aware of the tricks that go one and also of offering support for those who need it.
    My husband and I have a very different story than most. We met while he was in my country and started a relationship there. We did do a LDR for a while once he returned to Tunisia, but I eventually moved out here to live with him. We have been together over a decade, have a family, he supports me and our kids (I'm a SAHM), and he has never needed me for a visa.
    Nope, not worried in the least since we live together! lol Honestly, trust is a big part of relationships, and if you can't trust your partner, then you need to move on to someone you can trust. Granted, a lot of guys do this behind their girlfriends backs, so some never know, but if you do have alarm bells ringing, then listen to them. There is never smoke without a fire.
     
  4. DragonZest

    DragonZest TLR tester

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    I think this site is a fantastic place to help woman who have been hurt. There are many woman here who have gone through the same or similar situations and it is always great, when you are feeling low, to speak to people who know how it feels. On top of that, the amount of knowledge all the woman on here possess is incredible ;) If you want to know anything about their law, culture etc then there is normally someone on here who is in the know!

    I believe that half the problem is that woman are swept off their feet and jump into marriage too quickly with Tunisians (or people from another country). Part of that I guess is that they hate not being able to spend much physical time with the person so when the man asks for marriage the woman jumps at the chance because they believe that once married, all their problems will be over as their husband can then come to live with them. Unfortunatly most of these woman don't realise just how difficult it is to get into the UK and that although they are married, the UKBA may still say no to the visa. Also they do not know their man well enough at that time to even think about marriage!

    I just take each day as it comes and although it is always nice to think of the possibilitys of what might become, I stay realistic. Trust is something that I believe has to be earned and cannot just be given so I don't know if my guy is a rat or not....only time will tell. I have my own rules that I follow but I do realise that every woman is different and does what she feels comfortable with. I personally will not send money nor will I pay for everything when I'm in Tunisia. If everything is 50/50 then I am happy however he has paid for the majority of things. If the time came to it that I did want to marry him, I would not stay in the UK or help him get a visa to Europe but that is my personal choice. Same as I would not marry a man who has no job or house (rented is fine if need be) whether he is from Tunisia, UK or Mars!
     
  5. Loz

    Loz Active Member

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    I think the site is helpful to all women because it gives them support and different opinions and advice when needed... even if its just to check up on some one they think is a "rat" only time will tell ... how does any1 ever know for sure, untill the last min? In relationships u just have 2 take the chance if u think its worth it love with ur heart and head ... i love my tunisian man but i always keep a clear head no matter what u have 2 incase u want 2 be taken for a ride... u have to think things threw but so far things are good we've recently got married and im staying at his family home we have our arguments like every other normal couple but thats life :p I sometimes worry ,only get a bit paranoid because always so many girls staying at the hotel he works at but i dont think he's bothered just me being insecure and he's like that with me too sometimes and yes i do trust him but i would never trust someone fully because u never know and im not the kind of person 2 be taken 4 a fool!!! u never know what could happen like in any relationship 4rm tunisia, uk or where ever, i think every experience is different and every person is different ... probz the reason why so many people come on this site wether 2 look at the convos or join in because they can relate 2 an experience som1 else has had... im going on and onnnnn, i know when 2 stop eventually:p loool enough said haha !!!!
     
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  6. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover New Member

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    i think its good for people who have been hurt!! there are many men that do this and need to be named and shamed. but ofcourse there are good and bad people in all parts of the world and we cant paint everyone with the same brush. my friend has a lovely tunisian man and they have been together a long time. i have many tunisian male FRIENDS who i like to chill with and i think they are decent people. from looking at lots of the stories on here i have also come to the conclusion that a lot of the boys are from the same places/home towns. (not so developed)! i hope this site helps track down the ratssss!
     
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  7. purehearts

    purehearts Member

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    @DragonZest...Bravo!!! this is so well explained and I am so happy to hear this from another woman. "Trust is something that is EARNED" this is my daily mantra..
     
  8. DragonZest

    DragonZest TLR tester

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    Mine also....and once that trust is broken it is near impossible to return. Some cases, yes, it can be overcome and the trust restored but these are few and far between and take alot of effort on both sides.
     
  9. marylou

    marylou Tigerlils favourite

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    ;)
     
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  10. once-more

    once-more Well-Known Member

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    In the first place I came here some time ago to find out more about Tunisian and because this page is totally different to the German 1001 Geschichten.
    Since I didn't know my bf very well in the beginning (like everybody) and he was working in a hotel - all my alarm clocks went on while reading here.
    Today I trust him 99% but it took a loooooong way and he had to proof himself many many times, I never forgot things he said, I've written down all hints from the start (like places, names, things which happend and made me suspicious). Sometimes I felt really bad about MY doings;-))))

    But for me, it was the only way to gain security and also the only way to trust him....

    I took some time off from TLR and came back again later on, because I missed the people and our Tunisian Arabique thread....
     
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  11. kb21

    kb21 Well-Known Member

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    Perfectly put Dragonzest:)
     
  12. Wedley

    Wedley Member

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    i find it all so confusing, one minute i think my guy is genuine then i read all this and i am not sure, he is younger than me and that is a small problem i have met and stayed with his family, he has not asked for money, (yet) or a visa, i told him i have nothing and all he says is pack a bag and i will support you here in Tunisia, i am going back this friday (my 3rd visit) this year and all i want is for him to get a tourist visa to come back with me to see if we get on when i am in work mode. anyone have any advice on how to get this? i have written an invitation and a declaration of sponsorship, it seems easier to get a marriage visa than a tourist??? grateful for any help on this
    oh and he is quite happy to sign a pre nuptials too
     
  13. AnAngel

    AnAngel Member

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    I find this site very informative. I do trust my man but always in any relationship think you need to have your eyes wide open. Somebody told me about this website and I think if you're with a Tunisian man you would be mad not to check this site out to see if there is any dirt on him or his family. Like Wedley, I would appreciate any advice re obtaining a visiting visa, I've read up on the government websites but I would like some info from somebody who has been through the process if at all possible.

    A note on the support you provide for woman that have been wronged, you ladies are amazing!
     
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  14. Big Bang Theory

    Big Bang Theory Well-Known Member

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    Hi Wedley, firstly it is completely socially unacceptable for an unmarried, unrelated women to stay overnight at the family house. In an emergency an honest family might allow you to sleep overnight in the room/bed with the mother or sister but that is only in a real emergency. And if you slept in the same room/bed with your boyfriend than they are definitely a rat family. If you stayed in an adjoining apartment or suchlike (on your own or with another female family member) Than that is more acceptable and respectful but still not really what a genuine honest Tunisian family would do.

    I don't know much about visitors visa's but I do know that he would need to show good reason to return to Tunisia after his visit. i.e. family who depend on him, regular well paid employment, owning property, money in the bank etc.

    Sadly it is easier to get a spouse visa than a visitors visa but both are notoriously difficult.

    How nice of him to say he is happy to sign pre-nuptials - make sure he signs both a Tunisian and English one - a Tunisian prenuptial is only valid in Tunisia and isn't worth the paper it's written on in the UK. So if you do marry and he does get spouse visa and then leaves you after 5 years when he has his British citizenship he WILL be entitled to half your assets, pension and possibly even alimony if you are earning more than he is, regardless of signing pre-nup in Tunisia.
     
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  15. Eddie

    Eddie Well-Known Member

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    Friend of mine Tuni bf got knocked back twice for visitor visa despite her Sponsoring him and meeting financial requirements. Reason he could not provide sufficient reasons for return and they weren't convinced he wouldn't over stay his visa and possability do what loads do and go underground. So as you see not easy abtainable these visitor visa's.
     
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  16. Meteorite

    Meteorite Well-Known Member

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    Almost impossible to get a visit visa sorry! My advice dont lose your money trying and dont bring them to the country chances of them absconding is very very high hence the reason he wont get it! Its hard enought to get them one if you are married to them, dont waste your time or money it wont happen our Government is getting wise to the rats, also even for a visit visa (unless heh is family) government will think he is your bf it wont happen. Sorry but your fighting a losing battle if you even try!
     
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  17. Meteorite

    Meteorite Well-Known Member

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    Same initial response for my husband and I earned almost double the financial requirements and met all no problem.
     
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  18. AnAngel

    AnAngel Member

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    What proof of him having reason to return did you provide?
     
  19. Meteorite

    Meteorite Well-Known Member

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    What proof of returning does your rat have?
     
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  20. Meteorite

    Meteorite Well-Known Member

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    Sorry am not here to help bring them to the country am here to stop them! No help here hun!
     
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  21. AnAngel

    AnAngel Member

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    You don't know if he's a rat or not you know nothing about him so please don't judge all by the standards of your rat. Your post is bordering racist, I don't want or need your help if that's what you're like. There are good and bad in every race, religion, country etc. Although from reading your posts I understand why you would reply the way you have. Good luck in continuing to out your rat - women do deserve to know if he is a bad one
     
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  22. Meteorite

    Meteorite Well-Known Member

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    I am not racist I just dont want to encourage you to bring a rat into my country thanks very much, you want to bring him here for a visit I told you it wont happen! Does he have £_, 000 in the bank? Does he have a job that will give him a shining reference and keep his job open for 6 months, is he a friend or do you want more? Call me what you want say what you want, your Tunisian "friend" to come to the UK and sponge off you and take the chance of him doing a runner up to you but I will not be a part of it! I do not know one (and I know many who have tried) Tunisian who has ever got a visit visa???? Why????? Perhaps talk to the women who have brought them into the country to find out how they feel now they have made the biggest mistake of thier lives! i am not here to argue with you hun, but those rose tinted glasses may be shattered if you continue. Think about it! I know tunisian men and woman with children here who dont get visit visas not visa for marriage, good luck but I can assure you it wont happen, dont waste your money and it IS a lot more they add on when you go to do it believe me. Out of this thread am not interested in it.
     
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  23. Meteorite

    Meteorite Well-Known Member

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    and how many of them that need a woman to organise a visa for them have any of that??????????? Now let me see and think....................now if he has a good job and lots of money in the bank and a big house ....................hmmmmm he could get a visa himself without the aid of a woman couldnt he???????? YES some people need to think before they speak!!!!! and if he had all of that then he would already have his young tunisian virgin at home :D Its not Rocket Science its thinking with a clear head!!!!!!!!!!!! Pffft I give up. xxxxx
     
  24. CUDDLE

    CUDDLE Well-Known Member

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    I for one am very happy that it is almost impossible to get these slimey RATS visit visa.....Dont need anymore vermin here.....
     
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  25. gem15

    gem15 Well-Known Member

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    My husband has a successful VV back in 2012 and I know quite a few others that have also been lucky.

    You will need to make sure he has intent to return i.e a job with a contract, land or buildings in his name, bank loans (believe it or not) anything that gives him the link to his country and family is not enough.

    It is very hard but do-able
     
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