What do you think about this man??

Discussion in 'RAT-DAR' started by Love-criminal, Aug 7, 2009.

    Dear friends,

    What do you think about this man? Is he a rat or not, if :
    1. He visits you more than once to your country,
    2. He wants meet your family, parent and all of your friends in the first meeting and offered married with you
    3. He knowing you with your family, your mum (even just by phone, because his family stay in others state)
    4. He sending you money every month

    But

    1. He always delay his promised to marry you
    2. He is easy to be change with his words (I meant he is not consistent with his said or his promises)
    3. something he is very moody person

    So, what's your comment about this guy? Can you trust him??

    Please your comments :confused::confused::confused:
     
  1. maya
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    maya Member

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    sounds like my ex-BF :D
    I think you should look at the bigger picture; how does he treat you and how do you feel when you spend time with him? I do recognize the moodyness and inconsistency of his promises. But that does not make him a rat.
     
  2. Hi Maya..., Thank you

    When we are together he treats me very well. And make me very proud of him. But, when he stay far from me.....:huh: :huh: :huh:..... and of course because we stay in different country, we can not meet often.

    He always said that I am to much, I can not be patient..bla...bla. .bla...

    So what can I do???? How to admit to him that I am not happy with his way. Because he is easy to be sad and very sensitive person.
     
  3. maya
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    maya Member

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    reading your posts I get the feeling that you do want to end your relationship, or am I wrong?
     
  4. Hi Love-Criminal! Perhaps he has a genuine issue that he would feel uncomfortable discussing with you e.g how he will fund your wedding and support you financially as his wife - perhaps this would explain why he needs more time and why he is moody/stressed?? xxx
     
  5. Hi all,
    Thanks for your response. About married, he was the one who suddenly met me in my state and asked to marry me (we met and talked by internet before). I need more to made him sure with his idea to met my family and said about married with me. He said he was not boy anymore and mature enough to realize with all his disicions. While since we were talked in internet he always said he was serious with me.
    Then we were engaged more than a year.

    About money. I never and never asked him to send money for me. Since began he always asked if I would to consider resign from my job and stay at home, he will send me money with amount 2x from my salary.

    And I just resigned from my job last month.

    I asked him, what the problem exactly. Why he always delay our wedding. And he always said, its because his divorce process find trouble. But when I try to ask as detail about his divorce progres he does not want to open with me and said he fear I will open his problem in forum than its makes his process to divorce more difficult.

    I said to him about his reason delay our wedding, did he not sure to marry me? Did he find the new one? Did his mum not agree with me?

    He said he just want to marry me and sure 1000% with it. About his mum he said he is mature enough. Of course his mum asked him why he want to marry me? I cant speak arabic and while I come from the country very far with him.
    He said, the most reason why he wants to marry me because I am not Tunisian.
    Last week I asked to him once more, why he does not want married with Tunisian Lady? He said never. His previous married with Tunisian Lady makes his life very trouble (sorry for Tunisian's friends) and honest his previous wife agree to marry him just for visa living in europe. (My bf living and working in europe)

    He said, he wants to marry me soon also. If everything possible for him. But his condition does not provide him to do that. And he does not want come to jail because remarried before his divorce finish. He just wants I can be patient await the process. And once again he said he never want back to his ex.

    Honest, I never mind about his process. But at least let me know the progres. But we always find conflict everytimes I asked him about that.

    Its ok, I said to him, that's your life. And once more I give time for him to solve his problem. And I trust him, he will do the best for us.

    I think he is not boy 20 y o anymore. He should be realize that I am here await for him.

    Wish it will be makes him to be more comfort solve his problem about his previous married.

    That's why I was joint in this forum. Honest, I never knew and has relationship with Tunisian guy before. I don't know how the divorce process in his country.

    I am join in this forum just get knowledge about that, not for to find information about him or becomes spy for him.

    At least, if I know he and his culture, I can treat him very well. I can enter in his family's circle as part of them.

    I love him, I respect with him very much. I dont want my family and my friends here knows his bad atittude. Let people knows he is very good person. In my mind he is still future of my husband.

    But does he realize that I try to safe him? Till when I can safe him like this?

    So, has advice for that?

    Really sorry if my English not good and I am little bit emotional when talk about him. Because Im confuse and very sad about this :-:)-(
     
  6. Hi there Love C

    I'm so confused right now... I thought love rats took all your money & valuables.... demanded marriage for visa..... then got nasty if you said no?

    It seems that if he IS a rat, we have a completely new batch woop woop.

    ;)
     
  7. I told I just confuse with him.
    In one side he said wants to marry me. But in other side he does not want to share with me his problem which makes delay our planning.

    Just it...

    If we talk about money or something valuable. I am the rat for him ...lol...
     
  8. alAzima
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    alAzima Administrator & Voice of Reason Staff Member

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    Just wondering ( because it's the first thing that came into my mind when I was reading this ) How is he in your country? Is he in your country because he has citizenship there? Does he have a visa or green card that lets him stay as long as he wants or is he there through a tourist visa? Is he looking to turn his tourist / non permanent visa into a permanent one through marriage?

    If he's divorcing in Tunisia has he already separated from his wife? Would he entertain the idea of you coming there to visit him? I would ask that question and see what kind of answer I got. If you already know his family and he knows yours, I don't see why he wouldn't want you to come and visit?

    Just from what you have said it does not seem like a rat situation and maybe he truly is just waiting out the divorce. I wish you the best of luck!
     
  9. I agree - I don't think he's a rat - the issue for you is whether you love him enough to wait for him? xxx
     
  10. Achrefswife
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    Achrefswife New Member

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    Do some people type to read what they typed?? Same theory as people who talk to hear themselves speak...=D
     
  11. Veritas
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    Veritas The Contessa

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    :huh: Don't quite understand what you mean? Can you be more specific?
     
  12. dar142
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    dar142 Member

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    Glad am not the only one who never understood lol:huh:
     
  13. Liana
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    Liana Active Member

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    I got confused, too. I do not understand where this man is now and where the lady is. Personally, I do not feel capable of making any comment. Hope all ends well.:coffee:
     
  14. Veritas
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    Veritas The Contessa

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    :neener::doh::thumb::cheers::ben:
     
  15. Caramel
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    Caramel Clairvoyante !!

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    I did not understand either. Thats why I couldnt comment. As Vera said, it needs clarification.
     

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