What's the point?

Discussion in 'Rat Behavior' started by Biba, Jan 30, 2010.

  1. Biba

    Biba New Member

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    Hi, a while ago I posted on here just before I planned to visit my boyfriend in Tunisia. Now I'm back thank bloody god. I must have some sort of sign about my person or could I be a loser magnet.:mad:

    I gave up my job to go stay with him, ok job was not what I hoped so might have given it up anyway. He assured me " No worries baby, I'll find a place for us" he did sure enough but I ended up covering most of the rent, an arrangement he'd made before my arrival unbeknown to me. Fair enough I really liked him and was ok with that.

    Everything was just great, then his job finished so it seemed I was forking out for more, did'nt mind too much as I was liking being with him. Then he started getting all bossy always asking where I was if I went to the shop or did anything without him in tow. WTF..give me space!!! Once I said hi to one of his mates and it caused an almighty row. One night in a club I got pushed by some woman who then slapped him across the face, turns out it was someone he went out with. I was a bit shocked as she was a lot older than him, I went to the ladies and her friend came after me and told me she'd been sending him money for months, she'd been told he was with someone else but a someone else other than me. So it seemed he had three women paying out for him.

    How could I have got him so wrong? We had so much in common and had such fun together and all the time it was all a lie. When I asked why??? he seemed to think he had done nothing wrong, The other women meant nothing to him cos it was me he wanted and me he loved, they were making it seem bad because they were jealous!!! So I left took my stuff got a taxi to Tunis and hung around till I could find a flight back, I would like to say home. but have'nt got one now. I just feel so bloody stupid as to fall for his charms. I thought it would mean a fresh start and the hopes of a new life for me, but it's all just turned to shit, pretty much like my whole life to date. I just wonder what's the point?
     
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  2. TunisiaMoon

    TunisiaMoon Guest

    Biba, OMG what a complete arse!

    I'm so sorry that he put you through that. Makes you wonder how on earth they can get away it.

    The only consolation is that you have found out what a sleaze bag he really is before you got in too deep. I know its not going to make up what you have already lost but these things can only make you stronger and I wish you all my thoughts.

    Don't let this put you down. HIS LOSS hunni not yours.

    Once again I'm sorry that this happened to you and i'm sure you will find lots of words of support from the guys here xxxxxxxxxx
     
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  3. WouldI

    WouldI Guest

    Dear Biba, I'm so sorry that things didn't work out - but well done for not putting up with his crap once he revealed his true colours. Don't beat yourself up - this site wouldn't exist if it wasn't a common occurrence. I hope you manage to build your life back up - you are well rid of him and there can only be better around the corner. Take care xxx (f)
     
  4. Beansontoast

    Beansontoast Moderator Staff Member

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    Dear Biba,so sorry ,what a horrible experience.Forget him, look forward and start a new life. Don,t think back,lucky you found out quickly.
     
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  5. Tallulah

    Tallulah New Member

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    dear Biba, sorry it all went pearshaped for you. Don't feel bad about yourself, or he has won a victory over you. I know from experience what excellent liars they can be so I'm not supprised that you fell for him. At least you found out the truth sooner rather than later, some don't find this truth until after they've married.

    I hope you have friends you can call on and are able to rebuild your life afresh. You were thinking it was a new start for you, well now you just have to dust yourself down and prepare for another new start.

    Guess what, you can do it without the help or hindrance of any man.;) Don't dwell on what you think you may have lost through this experience but rather what you've gained. He's the loser. No change there then.:tongue:
     
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  6. mezoo

    mezoo The Decider

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    rat 101 just like in school

    sounds like a real "mover and shaker" rat style 101. sorry ya went with a creep and hope you really let him go. take a pass on that guy and go on back for a good time,,,,,,without him! cheers biba.:coffee:
     
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  7. bubbles

    bubbles Member

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    hi biba, i'm so sorry to hear about this RAT, with time you can get back on track with the getting home & job & no doubt find a real man atleast you know now not after marriage, kids & more money be strong hun and look to you future xx
     
  8. curlylocks09

    curlylocks09 Active Member

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    Biba, I feel for you really. what a complete arsehole!

    I bet you are changing from anger to sadness, make sure you keep the anger up. That idiot will never change, you are better off without him. Wishing you all the best from now on...forward is the way

    ps. Thank you for sharing this story, if it helps just one person then it's worth it.
     
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  9. paula01

    paula01 Well-Known Member

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    arsehole is too good for him at least that serves a purpose:mad: whats wrong with these guys??? the only love affair they have is when they look in the bloody mirror lol :ben:
     
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  10. mezoo

    mezoo The Decider

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    university of hard knocks

    you know that's a universal trait, men or women, any country,,,just thought I'd share what i've learned. :coffee:
     
  11. Guess_Who

    Guess_Who Made in England

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    :mad: NAME AND SHAME HIM!! :mad:

    I have a funny feeling there will be more than 3 women who claim to know him or have been involved with him?

    Welcome to the `Happier & Wiser` club......LOL!! x
     
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  12. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    Nine years later and these rats keep acting the same way, They do not care what are women sacrificing for them not taking serious their feelings and expectations about the relationship. They are just playing their cards. Fortunately Biba and many others like me got out on time, wich doesn’t annull the pain and shame they inflicted.
     
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  13. AmberHeart

    AmberHeart Lady Amberheart of Gafsa

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    I’d love to read an update from pioneer survivors, some advice from them, how did life go after rat tale.
     
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  14. Laura2014

    Laura2014 Well-Known Member

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    @Biba has not visited the site since Jan 2010, hopefully eight years on she has had a good rat free life and put it all behind her.
     
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