The manipulative power of these men makes me so angry. Because they took over so much of your life, of course you will feel and fear the emptiness. But you can fill that emptiness with people who care about you and your welfare. When I was very depressed once I volunteered at a program that made dinner and served the homeless. I started becoming focused on the desperate problems of others that it helped me stop focusing on myself. I started to do things like find inexpensive hand wipes and lotion because they can't really keep clean and their hands are dry and cracked. I talked to people who live under bridges in Manhattan. It helped to give me another focus.(Not to minimise what I was feeling or what you are feeling, it made me feel useful and have me some other things to think about. I don't mean that I was comparing my life to theirs, so mine didn't seem so bad, I mean that it helped give me another purpose in life when otherwise I would just be at home watching tv.) Maybe a volunteer program that doesn't take much time would help you?