Why does he hurt me

Laura2014

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why oh why - when he knows damn well he doesn’t need to - does he always tell me about women he loves and who have hurt him , or how he hopes that soon he will meet the woman of his life ..-and bla bla .

He knows I care about him , even though I know we can only be friends - and he know this talk hurts me so much and make me feel like rubbish .. and why am such an idiot and can’t let go and block


Anyeay sorry for the random useless post - just feeling like crap at the moment and had to let it out
https://www.tunisianloverats.com/threads/how-to-burst-your-own-love-bubble.4555/

I sent it to you before @Galleta Maybe have another read. The power is in your hands. Only you can stop the pain. Sometimes you have to go through short term pain to get to recovery. As long as you keep him in your life you will never be free of the feelings you have. It takes time but you CAN live without him in your life.
 

Epiphany

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Galleta, I know that you have years invested with this guy and all but you are making this harder on yourself. I am not going to tell you that it's going to be easy to just cut him off but, the longer you continue on with this the harder it is going to be on you.
Look how he makes you feel....is that what you want? do you think it's going to change? it won't, it will get worse.

You have already heard all the inevitable endings of these so-called relationships and the damage it causes from each of us. We are trying to help you can't you see that? The fairytale ending you are seeking will never come.
See this for what it is and get out..
 
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AmberHeart

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He does it to feel powerful over you, also to feel important he is in control of the situation and perhaps waiting for you to react.
Now what about your feelings? How long do you want to keep in this situation where you plainly identify he hurts you. What about when he starts telling you about his fiancé. What is going to happen with you? Are you willing to remain as his long distance friend or platonic lover...? Or you want to clear your life from all these complications. He will not stop. You have let him know your feelings and both agreed on a friendship so he is doing it on purpose to sit you in that place but making you feel bad. Like he is there all fun and lovely when it suits him but when he is fine he reinforce you are just a friend. Nothing else. Don’t let him do this to you.
 

AmberHeart

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Rats love doing this Galleta, they love making us aware there are hundreds of women wanting and waiting for them. They love doing that. It all ends damaging our self esteem and developing more attachment wanting their approval. We trick ourselves into thinking oh he must really see something special in me. That’s why he’s still here. But not! They only want to brag about it and to have entertainment.:Evil:
 

Mango Chutney

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why oh why - when he knows damn well he doesn’t need to - does he always tell me about women he loves and who have hurt him , or how he hopes that soon he will meet the woman of his life ..-and bla bla .
Because he is manipulating you. He wants you to declare absolute undying love for him, a confession that you can't live without him....and a visit.....at which point, he will wear the mask of a perfect gent :thumbsup:

You are ALLOWING him to treat you this way, every time you communicate with him.
You will go absolutely stir crazy if you continue this way with him. In fact....you're already halfway there.

My money has always said that this rat has lost his big fish....so now he is trying to elevate his smaller fishes....see which one takes the bait.
Is that gonna be you? Are you gonna take the bait, or will you just block this scamming prostitute and try to build up your own life?

The power is yours, but you hand it to him on a plate. Snatch it back! Take back your power and tell this prostitute to pee off!

He makes me angry. You frustrate me, but him.....he makes me freakin furious! :Evil:
 

Femme Fatale

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Let me point this out to you and just be honest. YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE!! You're not going to have to cut him off, eventually he is going to do it. He is either going to marry his Tunisian bride or another victim. There is nothing for you to gain from this. You're holding on for a few reasons. You think you're special to him, 5 years in, he has you feeling special, right. Those years mean nothing to him. Youll never match the patience of a rat, a scammer. You think those are special years, nope, those are years of grooming you. You may already be too late. May as well prepare for the hurt. Its coming. You don't want to let go. You simply dont. Youre getting your fix just like he is. But guess whos going to have worse withdrawal symptoms, yep you. He is going to drop you like a bad habit. Count your days.

Im sorry I cant give u good news, but the hurt you're going to feel when he pull the plug on you is going to be 10x worse than u think it is. Im sorry, you're in for a losing battle. This man eventually is going to want kids and start his own family (its their culture) and you'll be somewhere trying to pick up your broken heart from the floor, barely able to make it through the day.

I cant and I won't enable you. Its against what I believe, my integrity and morals. But just go ahead and get yourself prepared, this wont end well for you. Youre playing with fire here. Right now youre actively engaged with him....... wait until that demon cut you off, you're going to wish a medical professional could just take out your heart. Its gone hurt.

Youve been warmed a million times over.
 

Mystery

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Sorry but your heading for the biggest heartache of your life. Only you can stop this. It's not a real relationship it's never going to be real.
You can chat with any man online 5 years or 50 years but with a north African man you will feel sonly pain in your heart. Your feelings are so real his is fake. He knows what he's doing to you and he continues. However he needs you more than you need him please remember that.
He can talk about all the women he can get, so why hasn't he ? What's he waiting for ?.
You should play his game tell him you can get any man. In fact I bet you could get any tunis rat if you wanted one. Don't be shy with him go for it I'm sure he wouldn't like to hear he might lose you. After all he's depending on you 5 years it's like a drug. Don't show the emotion just laugh at him. If he really care about you he would be the one hurting not you. I hate they stupid games really pee me off. He's holding out on you and you need to ask yourself why if he can get all those women. Don't be stupid like me years down the line and my health is suffering.
I hope you can see Sense and know that some day you will be able to shut the door on him.
Hold your head high woman your stronger than you think. Get rid of him before you suffer more heartache.
 

Mango Chutney

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In fact I bet you could get any tunis rat if you wanted one.
God yes.....we could all fly over tomorrow and purchase one of those desperadoes.

Me and the man are gonna buy one each, for the bargain price of twenty Mars and a pair of flip flops :thumbsup:

That's what makes me laugh, when they say we are old,
fat and unwanted......there are plenty of man whores in Tunisia for sale....wonder if they do any deals, like 'Buy one, get one free' :confused:

And when Amiga stage victims tell us we are jealous? Jealous of what exactly? We can all go buy what they've got....christ, with the desired nationality, we could probably purchase their own one for ourselves :thumbsup:
 

Femme Fatale

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God yes.....we could all fly over tomorrow and purchase one of those desperadoes.

Me and the man are gonna buy one each, for the bargain price of twenty Mars and a pair of flip flops :thumbsup:

That's what makes me laugh, when they say we are old,
fat and unwanted......there are plenty of man whores in Tunisia for sale....wonder if they do any deals, like 'Buy one, get one free' :confused:

And when Amiga stage victims tell us we are jealous? Jealous of what exactly? We can all go buy what they've got....christ, with the desired nationality, we could probably purchase their own one for ourselves :thumbsup:

This is so true. When I would read victims statements trying to tell us we are jealous and miserable, I'd laugh and think the same thing. Like I could message your man while you're on here yapping away, offer him a USA visa, place to live, access to all my cars, home and bank accounts, and he'd drop you faster than you can log off TLR. I could buy him while you're too busy being condescending. Lol. Oh and im not old, fat, with children (like they love to say :rolleyes:). ;)
 

Going for the limit

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I have never understood this jealousy thing. Even the fecking wives say it to each other haha.
When i have outed their rats they usually turn on me then say i am jealous wtf.

All anyone needs to do in tuni land is whip out their burgandy passport and they come running so mango keep your mars bars and flip flops its to much hahaha
 

Mango Chutney

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so mango keep your mars bars and flip flops its to much hahah
Oh, GFTL....that made me laugh so much :D
I will assume you are not a smoker....but have a secret chocolate habit :D
I meant a packet of these:

Screenshot_2019-02-16-15-23-13_kindlephoto-239553992.png

Mars cigarettes, not chocolate bars :D:D

Primark has some cracking flip flops for .97p.
For an extra quid.....you can get them with pom poms on! :p
 

Galleta

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Let me point this out to you and just be honest. YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE!! You're not going to have to cut him off, eventually he is going to do it. He is either going to marry his Tunisian bride or another victim. There is nothing for you to gain from this. You're holding on for a few reasons. You think you're special to him, 5 years in, he has you feeling special, right. Those years mean nothing to him. Youll never match the patience of a rat, a scammer. You think those are special years, nope, those are years of grooming you. You may already be too late. May as well prepare for the hurt. Its coming. You don't want to let go. You simply dont. Youre getting your fix just like he is. But guess whos going to have worse withdrawal symptoms, yep you. He is going to drop you like a bad habit. Count your days.

Im sorry I cant give u good news, but the hurt you're going to feel when he pull the plug on you is going to be 10x worse than u think it is. Im sorry, you're in for a losing battle. This man eventually is going to want kids and start his own family (its their culture) and you'll be somewhere trying to pick up your broken heart from the floor, barely able to make it through the day.

I cant and I won't enable you. Its against what I believe, my integrity and morals. But just go ahead and get yourself prepared, this wont end well for you. Youre playing with fire here. Right now youre actively engaged with him....... wait until that demon cut you off, you're going to wish a medical professional could just take out your heart. Its gone hurt.

Youve been warmed a million times over.
Yes you are SO right
 

Masha

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Sep 12, 2016
Messages
796
why oh why - when he knows damn well he doesn’t need to - does he always tell me about women he loves and who have hurt him , or how he hopes that soon he will meet the woman of his life ..-and bla bla .

He knows I care about him , even though I know we can only be friends - and he know this talk hurts me so much and make me feel like rubbish .. and why am such an idiot and can’t let go and block


Anyeay sorry for the random useless post - just feeling like crap at the moment and had to let it out
He's building his self esteem!
He is trying to boost himself up in your eyes by saying 'look at all these girls I can attract - you would be very lucky indeed to have me!" - if only you would do what I tell you !!!
It is a kind of power play. He wants to be sure that he would have the upper hand if you finally begged to be his gf = he would always feel the more attractive and desirable one, with you always working hard to keep him whatever the cost. He is testing you to see if he can control you and make you jealous so that you will accept to do him favours

Men who care even a little bit about you don't talk about girlfriends - that's gross.

I'm not sure what it is you like about him. Please do try to find some male friends who can offer you at least partnership
And remember
Only a woman can direct a man to the right door.
 

Galleta

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Dec 4, 2017
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149
How are you doing @Galleta?
Hi Laura... thank you for asking.
Last week after a minor argument - he blocked me for a hour, everywhere . Then unblocked me and the next day after I challenged him on it - blocked me again , everywhere, for several hours - at that point I had no idea if he would ever unblock me again and I had no way of contacting him .

I’m ashamed to say I took it very badly and actually fell apart- was in a tricky situation at work , also in which I had to keep calm but really the pain was terrible . I couldn’t believe he could do this after our many years of friendship- and I honestly could not cope. Embarrassingly , I contacted him on another account I made , And I’m now unblocked , “ forgiven “ and we’re talking ok..he said he was stressed and I didn’t respect bla bla ... but it taught me a huge lesson which I KNOW you have all been warning me about - that I alone must take control and leave him myself - if one day he blocks me for good I will be destroyed .

So I’m taking my first steps at leaving him - talking less each day, distracting myself and above all knowing I never want to face that pain I felt .

Thank you again for everyone’s support here .
 

Laura2014

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Hi Laura... thank you for asking.
Last week after a minor argument - he blocked me for a hour, everywhere . Then unblocked me and the next day after I challenged him on it - blocked me again , everywhere, for several hours - at that point I had no idea if he would ever unblock me again and I had no way of contacting him .

I’m ashamed to say I took it very badly and actually fell apart- was in a tricky situation at work , also in which I had to keep calm but really the pain was terrible . I couldn’t believe he could do this after our many years of friendship- and I honestly could not cope. Embarrassingly , I contacted him on another account I made , And I’m now unblocked , “ forgiven “ and we’re talking ok..he said he was stressed and I didn’t respect bla bla ... but it taught me a huge lesson which I KNOW you have all been warning me about - that I alone must take control and leave him myself - if one day he blocks me for good I will be destroyed .

So I’m taking my first steps at leaving him - talking less each day, distracting myself and above all knowing I never want to face that pain I felt .

Thank you again for everyone’s support here .
Spend your time here @Galleta, read and comment on threads here. Learn and read everything. Spend more time here and less with him.

Your reaction to his blocking you has emboldened him and he now holds the power. Take it back. Employ distraction techniques.

I had lost it notes everywhere, inspirational positive notes. Notes saying “ DONT”. bold reminders. Get to know this site more and use it as your support.
 

Galleta

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Dec 4, 2017
Messages
149
Spend your time here @Galleta, read and comment on threads here. Learn and read everything. Spend more time here and less with him.



Your reaction to his blocking you has emboldened him and he now holds the power. Take it back. Employ distraction techniques.

I had lost it notes everywhere, inspirational positive notes. Notes saying “ DONT”. bold reminders. Get to know this site more and use it as your support.
Thanks for this - apart from post it notes ... any practical tips to completely avoid him in evenings/ nights? In the day I’m fine but by now i get withdrawal symptoms - I really miss him and know I will fall again .
 

Laura2014

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Thanks for this - apart from post it notes ... any practical tips to completely avoid him in evenings/ nights? In the day I’m fine but by now i get withdrawal symptoms - I really miss him and know I will fall again .
Ha ha, I emptied drawers, lots and lots of drawers. It was like a cleansing, if I hadn’t worn it for a year it went. Putting everything back best and tidy ( I have a lot of clothes). Then I would polish my bags and boots! ( I have a lot of boots and bags too) or Wash make up brushes, all kinds of practical things. I’d sent catch up emails tofriends I neglected while embroiled with him. I gave up so many things to be available for his random messages or calls. It took a while to remember how I used to fill my time before him.
 
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